Before you even read any further, go down and play the youtube video so that a beautiful song that I want you to actually listen to is playing while you're reading...
Surprise, surprise. I'm at Starbucks. For some reason, this is the only place I can bring myself to spend ridiculous amounts of money for anything ("ridiculous" meaning $3.00 for an iced coffee).
I have been home for eleven days now. Eleven days of lazy, idle, fatty living. Seriously guys. I sit on the couch all day watching reruns of the shows I've missed. I had to catch up on all the shows I watched before I left. Many season finales to watch before the start of the new seasons next month!
Glee makes me so happy all the time. As a musician I can appreciate a musical-type weekly television series! Especially when they cover songs I actually like.
Who doesn't love The Office? I still haven't seen the episode where Michael leaves or even really know much about it. I've never laughed more at a television series.
Parenthood is seriously the most realistic show on TV. I cry every single episode. I'm not even kidding. The other day I watched the last five episodes of the last season and my eyes were constantly streaming tears, for like five straight hours. It makes you laugh and cry and things are not always resolved by the end of every episode and that's why I love it.
This cartoon I actually just started watching since I've come home and let me tell you, it is a great one! It's hilarious and so witty. Finn and Jake are the best duo ever written for TV. I mean, this shouldn't even be classified as a kids show because it's that good. I would suggest you all watch this. Adults will crack up more than kids will. Don't give up after one episode either, the more you watch, the more you will crave.
The greatest female guitarist and songstress is finally, after four years of nearly silence, releasing a studio album! Feist my friends, Feist. If you haven't listened to her you should because she is amazing and that is an understatement. Her voice is so soothing and the way she puts songs together is creative, unique, and inspiring. I love her guitar skills. Simple, yet intricately woven with her vocals and good looks. You may know her from such commercials as Apple iPod with the "1,2,3,4,5,6,9, and ten money can't buy you back the love that you had then..." You get the idea. Here's her newest single that I just heard on the radio today and I was so obsessed I had to find it and listen to it over and over again on youtube.
I. Can't. Stop.
In other news, this might be a kind of loooonger blog since it's been a few days from the last entry. So, to not intimidate you, I'll put the rest after this paragraph so that you can click and read a lot if you so desire, or just leave it at this if you don't want to take the time to read more personal things.
you: Hey! I miss you so much! Let's hang out! me: Yes, totally! I miss you too! When do you want to hang out? you: Let's hang out on this day next week! I can't wait to see you!!!! me: Yeah, totally awesome, I can't wait! It works for me as I am doing nothing at all that day!!!
What goes on in my head until that day comes: What will we be doing? Anything we do will involve money and I can't even bring myself to pay $5 for a meal because it's double the amount for a meal in India. I don't have that kind of money, I have to pay for gas eventually and it's like $3.99 a gallon and I do not have that kind of money. Will they pay for me or are they expecting me to pay for myself like all Americans would assume? Will I have to be the d-bag who says "oh, btw I have no money" when we get to the register? Will I have to be the jerk who cancels at the last minute because I have no money and would hate to put that kind of pressure on someone...even if it's someone I haven't seen for a very, very long time? Why do things have to be so expensive??? Why did I have to buy that perfume yesterday when I didn't need it and therefore can't afford to do anything else this week?? WHY AM I SO BAD WITH MY FINANCES? WHY HAVEN'T I LEARNED FROM MY PAST MISTAKES??? Why can't they just say up front they'll pay for me if that's what they're thinking? Is it weird to ask if they're expecting to pay for me or me to pay for myself? How will I afford to pay my electricity bill in India if I spend the same amount I would for a month's electricity on dinner that day? (Electric bill for this month: $17.09. Dinner at a restaurant: $17.09) WHAT TO DO?? TELL ME WHAT TO DO, O WISE BRAIN OF MINE!!!!
I'll just stay home and watch Adventure Time with Finn and Jake or whatever it's called.
And that's a glimpse of what's going on inside my head when people ask me to "hang out" upon coming back from India.
That's me holding all the money I have in my wallet. 50 rupees is equivalent to $1.09.
I called the Love of my life today finally. After an entire week since that fateful taxi ride to the airport, I called him. Oh how I miss his voice and face and laugh and words and broken English at times. Ahhhh. It is true that old adage: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or the original saying that came from Roman poet, Sextus Propertius (wonder if that was his real name):
I seriously need to get into a schedule. I find that if my life is scheduled I make wiser choices. I don't know how I have lost all self-control in my life. I've given up on controlling my surroundings which is fine, that's what God wants I think, but I seem to have also given up on controlling myself when it comes to everything. I don't even know where to begin. You'd think studying the Bible for so long would make me wiser and closer to perfection than ever before, but I am pretty sure it has brought me farther away. Perhaps that's the way wisdom goes. The more you know the more you realize how imperfect you really are. The more I get a hold of what needs to be done, the more I see how far I have fallen, and the more I see how much I need grace. Grace is a huge gift and I have always taken it for granted. I still do, but I am at least starting to see how important it is in my selfish life.
On another, completely un-related note, I'm listening to "Born This Way" by Gaga with my headphones on for the first time and am hearing little background things I have never heard before! And I've listened to this song a billion times. It's pretty cool actually. At the very beginning when she's talking, there's some cello or bass action going on. The harmonies and background vocals sound sweet also, as with the bass drum beat. I don't care what anyone says. I like Lady Gawgs.
But, I won't end with that controversial statement. I'll leave you with this question:
Has there been a time in your life you realized the importance of grace?
Have you ever struggled with self-control?
It's no different now that I'm feeling out of place based on the fact that I hav lived in India for the last year, as opposed to the fact that I've always felt out of place based on the clothes I've worn. I always have to be "different" and that is something that has always remained constant in my life. Now here I sit in the middle of suburban Starbucks in my just bought thrifty store clothes which cost me like $3 and there are people here using their thousand dollar laptops (which I am guilty of as well I suppose) wearing their designer clothes and talking on their smart-phones of which I could never hope to ever lay my little hands on ever in my lifetime. My phone doesn't even have internet accessing capabilities. No touch screen (gasp!). There's nothing exciting about my phone except that it's white and teal which is different than other people's phones and so I like it. However, I wouldn't mind if someone blessed me with an old iPhone or Droid something or other.
Speaking of old things, if you didn't know I have been collecting old polaroid cameras for awhile now. It used to be cool cause I could use them, but they've stopped making the polaroid 600 film that I need and so to look up on Amazon they're running about $50 for 10 pictures. Are you kidding me? I have found one website that is selling them for like $21 for 10 pictures so if I'm desperate I'll order from them. If anyone has any old polaroid 600 film lying around please donate it to my hipsterish cause. It's the instand photos you know, that come out and you "shake it like a polaroid picture!!!" as Outkast says. I got a really old awesome one today. I didn't take a picture of it, but found one that looks almost the same on the internet!
It is wonderful being home again. Last night we had the great "corn feed" as my mother likes to call it. All we eat for dinner is sweet corn. I enjoy this a lot. Although I fear my intake level is growing smaller. I think I used to eat three or four cobs of corn, but last night I ate only two, and one was pretty small. I am not sure what that was all about.
There's my mom, chuckin' away! I helped after I took a few photos.
Awwww, look at them all, just waiting to be thrown into boiling water.
The State Fair begins this week and I am SO excited! I can't wait to walk around with my littlest brother and eat anything in sight! Although, I miss the days of going to the fair with my Aunt Mary and cousin Megan. Those were fun days. Megan would always drag me to the KDWB booth because she was totally obsessed. I'm not sure if she still is though because I haven't gone to the fair with her in quite a few years. BUT I'm going to see her tomorrow for a manicure (which I have never received ever in my life as I am a nail-biter) and also a pedicure. I am quite embarrassed to get a pedicure because my feet are rather disgusting from walking around the dirty streets of India for the last six months. It'll be good practice for her.
The best thing ever I got today at the thrift store was a pair of shoes. I have always always ALWAYS wanted a pair of shoes like these but have never found them anywhere ever except maybe Urban Outfitters for $87 dollars and no thank you to that. I found a pair at the Elk River Salvation Army Family Store (yikes, what a name) and they are a tad too big for me, but I didn't care. I bought them anyway, so here's a picture of me wearing them with a new outfit also. I really wanted socks with frilly lace on them and the only place I could get them (aside from super expensive American Apparel) was the girl section at Target. Look at how thrifty I can be! Pardon the obnoxious America's Next Top Model pose. What else could I do to show off how ridiculous my shoes are? If you click on the picture you'll see it bigger.
And so now I feel like walking around the Shoppes in Maple Grove since I'm here and I should walk somewhere after drinking this giant iced coffee. I also have to figure out what to eat for dinner tonight. Any takers? I'm craving everything, but sad that Curry Up is out of business. I liked the people there, and some of the food.
In other news, if you haven't received my newsletter, you could! Send me your e-mail address if you haven't received my monthly newsletter yet and would like to. I am starting a Bible Study on Tuesday nights at 7 PM in Maple Grove (my parents' house) so please come if you're available. It'll be an hour long each week approximately. Starting September 6th and going through the end of October. Not a huge or long commitment! Come learn how we study the Bible in our School of Biblical Studies, yet not as intense as we do.
But it is so wonderful to see the sun and absorb some vitamin D after so long. I was beginning to go crazy with all the gloomy, clouded days in India during Monsoon. Here's me at home once again. It's kind of strange being so far away from all I know and love, yet being somewhere incredibly familiar.
I've already done some clothes shopping. I got this amazing cosby-like sweater yesterday at Goodwill and a pair of wonderful shorts from Anthro that were on clearance for $19.95. I literally have no shorts here, so had to get at least one pair.
So now I'm just sitting on the couch and watching episodes of Spongebob Squarepants and waiting for something to happen. My littlest brother is at work right now and I'll have to wait until 4:00 to see him again.
Last night my littlest brother and I went to a party where we had to dress up in things starting with the letter "B" so here we are if you can guess who we're supposed to be.
Tonight the fam and myself will be playing cards and it's going to be an all around good time. I'll be baking chocolate chip cookies and drinking tall glasses of milk. All around good fun.
So I'm sitting in the Amsterdam airport right now just waiting for my next flight to start boarding. I will begin to tell the tale of my experience thus far in my trip back West.
Last time I flew to Minneapolis out of Mumbai it was definitely the worst flying experience I've ever had to suffer through in my entire life, and that is no hyperbole. My Delta flight was cancelled due to a major snowstorm in Amsterdam, so I was put on a full Continental flight-from-hell straight to Newark, NJ. I sat in the middle of two young mothers and their toddlers. Yikes. Plus the Continental guys harassed me at the airport for my registration forms which was not needed nor has it ever been needed before. So here's my experience so far today:
1. Arrived at the airport a little early and said bittersweet good-bye-for-now to the fiancée.
2. Got in and went to the Delta area to check in and the man helping me was so incredibly nice.
3. The man checking my bags let me check three bags free of charge.
4. I went through security like super-fast Flash.
5. After walking inside Mumbai airport after a pleasant experience I realized how awesome it actually is in there! Lots of things to do.
6. Upon sitting down I pulled out and turned on my laptop and lo and behold, free wi-fi! FREE WIFI!!
And so far, those are the amazing things that happened. The 9 hour flight here was average. They really should think of how to make planes better for all of us involved. More comfortable. I shouldn't have to fork over another $1,000-2,000 just for first class. Paying $1,760 is a lot and if I travel at the bottom of the barrel for that price then screw flying. This world is not right. But I can't complain I guess. We're actually moving at hundreds of miles per hour in the sky!!! I mean come on. It's a miracle, flying is. How we figured out how to make these giant steel flying machines is a mystery to me. I mean just look at the Wright Bros. first plane and now!
Flying is cold. It's really cold in those planes. Not to mention crowded and germ-filled. I'm a bit of a germophobe if you didn't already know. I'm sure you're thinking, "how can you live in India if you are always conscious of germs?" Well, I don't know how I do it. I think I just choose to ignore the mess.
Well, I have two minutes left of my "free" wi-fi session here at Amsterdam airport. I bid you adieu.
Next time you hear from me I'll be in good old Minnesota. Yay for sunlight and American things!
There were two good things about Mase's comeback: "Welcome Back" and "Money Comes and Goes." For some reason my iTunes plays the same songs whenever I put it on shuffle and usually I skip almost everything, but if "Money Comes and Goes" comes on I just can't resist to nod my head and shrug my shoulders to the beat. Mase, you will always be my favorite Bad Boy.
It's a bittersweet feeling when you know you are leaving your new home to visit your old home. You get so excited to have the things you grew up with, the things that are so familiar and comfortable to you. However, when you get there you realize that those things are no longer familiar, nor are they comfortable. Reverse culture shock is a real thing. You hear all these warnings and stories of "culture shock" when you go to a new place with a different culture. You are in a state of awe and wonderment constantly for the first month and you keep telling yourself, "I'm in . I cannot believe I'm really here." And everything is new and exciting and different. Then after living there for two years you get used to many things and though it is not yet comfortable for you, it has become home. You love this country and this culture and even more, you love the people here. You've gotten used to their tardiness and their staring eyes. You have come to enjoy the car horns and misspelled words. You've named the street dogs and have befriended the neighbors. It truly is home now. BUT now you must go back to the place you came from originally. It's not longer your home, but it's where you grew up and it's where your family is. Of course you get so excited to see your family after so long, especially your little dog named Peaches. Of course you are SO excited to eat BEEF again after so long and to eat bread, cheesecake, good ice cream, and Mexican food in general. However, these once familiar things are now so very different from what you're used to and going back to those same mindsets, attitudes, and people is difficult. Reverse culture shock is harder to handle than regular culture shock in my opinion. Seeing and experiencing such a greedy, consumeristic culture after living in a third world country for 2 years almost kills me. I go into grocery stores just to walk around and look at everything with my mouth hanging open. Even simply seeing all the signs written in English shocks me. Once I get off the plane in Amsterdam and am surrounded by mostly white people I might drop dead. Imagine being surrounded by dark skinned Indian people every moment of your life for the last year and then you get on an airplane full of dark skinned Indian people, but as soon as that plane lands and you get off you're in Whitesville. It's weird and shocking.
I feel like Mogli must have felt going from the jungle life to the village. The simple life to the complex.
This is how I buy my milk. In a box. Refrigerate after opening. Good with cereal and for making pancakes, not so good to just drink a glass of milk. Oh Kemps, where are you when I need you???
In the process of going through all the stuff in my small house/apartment, I found these two totally awesome small bags. They just need to be cleaned up a little and put to good use. Unfortunately mold is everywhere. On things that have been sitting in a box for a year like these, but also on things like my shoes which have been sitting by the door for 2 days. I hate you monsoon. On the bright side, the sun is out a lot today! I think I'll go for a walk to the coffee shop to write in my journal and prepare to go home.
I also found these totally awesome, huge, full-of-bells Indian earrings! This is actually the first time I've EVER worn a pair of dangling earrings, so you're witnessing a great event in my life. I thought of a way to wear them with my plugs even! Score. I may have to start purchasing more Indian earrings because they're so beautiful.
Here's a picture of how they change the lightbulbs in my Coffee Day that I go to all the time. It's a guy standing on a chair which is just on top of a table. That's safety at its best. Oh! Did I ever tell you about the time a few students and staff were cleaning out the water tank, standing in about a foot of water, and some live wires fell into the water? Good, safe times in India always. There isn't a month that goes buy I don't get a little electrical shock by turning on a switch somewhere. It's quite terrifying actually.
I am soon going home, just eight days to go! I'll be arriving in Minneapolis on the 17th and seriously cannot wait to eat the good food, watch the movies I haven't seen, catch up with my family, wear shorts again, and go swimming like every day! I can finally get a tan at home in Minnesota. You'd think I'd be tan after living in India for so long, but having to always wear long pants and T-shirts does not help when one wishes for golden brown skin. I found the most amazing jacket/shirt the other day. It is incredibly colorful and has animals printed all over it. So awesome. This is me in my "Korean" pose that my amazing friend Jae taught me a few years ago when I was in New Zealand.
And this is what I'm wearing today! These Indian bottoms are AMAZING and comfortable and I feel like everyone wants them. I see tourists wearing them all the time. They're called "harem pants" I think, but I don't like that name. Who'd want to be associated with a harem? Anyway, I'm really going to miss India when I'm home for three months, but I'll have all my Indian clothes with me to at least fill in some part of the gap.
One thing I'm looking forward to when I go home is spending time with this guy:
Meet Baby Sarah, my sweet, adorable, awesome little nephew. His name isn't really Baby Sarah, but that's what I like to call him since I found out about my sister-in-law's pregnancy via facebook and told them they had to name the baby after me whether boy or girl because of it. He's a lot bigger now I'm sure, but still adorable. We'll go on Aunty adventures together and visit my littlest brother at his new job together with Baby Sarah's older sister. Hahahhaa. What a great time I will have at home again.
I'm also going to attempt to lead a Bible Study while I'm home! Friday night is looking the best, but who really wants to go to a committed Bible Study on Friday nights?
My fiancée did not receive a visa his second time around. This is one time I really dislike my country's way of doing things in other countries. Seriously, America, why can't you be nicer to outsiders? Those guys in the embassy just don't realize that what they do affects people's lives! We are not just an application, we're human beings. These people working in the embassy make me sick. But who am I to judge their lives? I know nothing about them. I am not perfect either and I also make mistakes and stupid decisions. Why can't the man that I love come home with me to meet my family? I just don't get it.
Anyway, I'm coming home by myself again. It will all be okay. Even in this hard, annoying situation, I still thank God how far he has brought me and Romel.
This is what I look like right now as I'm typing this, just so you know. You can't see it but I'm wearing a necklace from the tribe of my fiancée. A dear friend gave it to me. He is Angami (that's the tribe name!) and so I always tell people I'm also Angami, but I tell him I'm Penobscott, which is the Native American tribe my ancestors come from. Don't I look so Native American to you?
If you remember from a previous entry, I love the United States of America. But have you guys ever thought about how privileged you are to be American citizens? I have never even considered the blessing it was to have been born into a family in the United States. Life is so easy for me. Living in India has opened my eyes to how difficult it is to live in a different country, a "third world" country at that. So many Indians are trying to get visas to the US. I understand the need to be strict and nit-picky about who they let into the country, but when it comes to my best friend and the man I'm going to marry, I get so frustrated with my country. It is SO hard to get a visa to the US guys, seriously. For me to get my 10 year (TEN YEAR!!) tourist visa to India I just had to fill out an application and mail it to Chicago with my passport and they sent me back my passport with the visa in it a few days later.
Over here it's a different story. Fill out the application in one city, go to another city (1.5 hours away) and pay the fee, come back to the first city to make the interview appointment, go back to another city (still 1.5 hours away) and turn in the application, go back to the first city and then wait a few days for your interview and go to Mumbai (three hours away) to have the interview where there's a 99% chance you will be denied your visa.
SO, my dearest fiancée is going in tomorrow morning which is Monday night for you Americans. He is going for his second visa interview this time with new letters and pictures and also a letter from our dear and beloved Senator who just so happens to be this guy:
Al Franken is awesome. My littlest brother and I shook his hand once in a parade in our hometown and we did not wash our hands for like an hour afterward.
Please pray for my fiancée: peace, calm, and wisdom of what to say to the interviewer, and also pray for the interviewer to have a soft heart and believe without a doubt that Romel's intention is not to immigrate to the United States.
I decided to dye the ends of my hair on a whim the other day. They're just a little blue, and I like it that way! You cannot even really tell now because it has washed out a little. You cannot find proper hair dye in India unless you want black or henna, which oddly enough turns your hair orange. So I had to use a permanent marker diluted in some water and just dipped my hair into that. It worked pretty nicely I'd say. Here's me with straight hair which lasted for one minute tops because of the moisture in the air from monsoon rains.
My favorite drink EVER!!!! It's called Thums Up and it tastes like magical fizzy masala madness! It could kick Coca-Cola's butt any day of the week, and the world knows it which is why it's only available in India. It must be contained. I will miss it so much when I'm home, but at least I won't drink any soda then. Thums Up or bust!
I have begun to get things organized and packed away to sit in my house and grow penicillin for three months while I'm gone. Here's a photo of some well-thought out organizing and a very old, very rusty trunk that we found in our storage room. The same room they found a cobra in before I moved in. Yikes. I am a bit terrified still to go in there sometimes because of that story, and a few months ago when I went in there I saw a GIANT SPIDER!!! I'm serious, it was huge and scary. It was black and had some white spots and yellow on it. With its legs sprawled out as usual. It was about the size of a compact disk with the legs spread out. The body was not so big, bigger than a quarter, maybe if you put two quarters next to each other, that's the body, then the legs. Spiders do not typically scare me, but this one was terrifying. Needless to say, I hate that back room, and won't go in there if I don't have to.
This is an outfit I wore the other day. I was just trying to think of other ways to wear kurtas. I love Indian tops, but they're so long and have slits up the side and so you pretty much can only wear them over jeans, leggings, or punjab pants. You cannot wear them with nylons or tights because of the side slits. They go up past your hip sometimes and then people would totally see your undies. One mistake I think Indian women make is they wear white leggings with them a lot. Or nude color leggings. You have to avert your eyes when that happens, especially if they're standing to the side.
And this is just a picture of the hair I used to have and adore. I long to cut it like this again, but my fiancée would have a cow. Literally. But a girl can dream, right?
I hope everyone had a great weekend! I sure did. On Saturday we had General Clean-Up which means all staff and students get together and clean the entire campus for four hours. It's much needed and only happens once a quarter. It's always dreaded, but then when the day comes and goes you always look back on it with fond memories and you totally had tons of fun cleaning mold off the walls and scrubbing toilets with others. The main topic of conversation this past clean up on Saturday however was, "Where are the leaders and staff who live off base?" because there were just a few staff who live off campus there to help. It is also quite ironic I think because it was just one day after a staff meeting where it was stressed that the leaders were here to serve the campus yet most of them did not come. It's a funny word, "serve." We throw it around so easily as Christians yet I don't think we fully understand the meaning of the word. When I hear "servant" I think of something completely different than when I hear "serve." You can serve the church. You can serve a term in office. You can serve dinner. You can serve a prison sentence. You can serve a subpoena. You can serve someone by beating them at something (a.k.a. "You got served!")
So in all actuality to serve someone or be a servant has many different meanings, but what does it mean to us as Christians today? How can we "wash the feet" of others? How can we be a servant in this world no one seems to want help anymore?
