Once there was a way to get back homeward

God is completely, wholly, and eternally wonderful. He is too good to me. Why should I be surprised when he actually answers my prayers? I am not surprised any longer. I am thankful, grateful, excited, happy, and fearful of the Lord my God who is faithful and listens to my cries for mercy. He is merciful. He is gracious. He is my provider and my strength in times of stress and doubt. Why worry?

I am faced right now with a decision to make. There are many options. I have narrowed it down to three options. So, please pray that God would speak to me and show me his desire in my life. The concrete thing for after SBS is coming home. However, the thought of Minnesota is not in a homely way anymore. It is more like I'm going to see my family and friends. Lonavala seems to have slowly seeped into my heart and mind as "home." So, anyway, I am coming home to Minnesota for six months at the very least. Now, my goal is to be back in India in January, after the New Year. My two options for coming back to India are 1) Joining Arts With A Mission (AWAM) which I have talked about plenty on here. Or else 2) Begin staffing the next SBS in its second - third quarter then staff one more full SBS the following September. I hope to know before I go back to Minnesota which to come back for. My third option is not to come back to India at all. Please pray for me and let me know if you get anything from the Lord.

I also need to find a full-time job almost immediately upon returning home so if you know of anything, mostly not involving children, please let me know! If you don't know of any job opportunity, then please simply pray that God would already begin to open a door.

And yes, I'm going to say it, I need prayer about a relationship that God has placed into my lap with a wonderful man here in India. We both need wisdom, discernment, and confirmation if this is God's desire for our lives. I mean, we are not officially in a relationship as of yet, but this of course is also influencing my decision to come back to India, and I'm afraid that if I come back it's also like I'm choosing this man, I'm choosing this relationship, I am choosing most likely my husband. That is the scariest thing in the world to me. I am afraid of commitment.

It is getting so hot here. I cannot barely cope with every day living. I sweat like anything when I brush my teeth! The thought of power cuts makes me go crazy. It's funny how a fan makes the heat way more bearable. Ceiling fans are one of the greatest inventions ever. They will be a big part of my life in the future. I think every room in the house should have a ceiling fan. Who needs A/C when you have ceiling fans? All of you in Minnesota, really, you have it good. I'd much rather be in the heat there now than here. Because of this heat I am tired all the time. I always want to sleep. I am thankful to be in India and do love this country and it's Indian Summers. Now I fully understand that phrase, if it was not actually spoken about India and Native Americans, then it fits well into the Indian side of things as well.

There are only 36 days left of SBS. Of course I'm counting! I am ready to be done with charting for the rest of my life. Of course I'll still study the Bible, however I will never chart again! Ba ha ha ha ha ha. As a staff member I will get to grade the student's charts and lead a small group. How wonderful will SBS be as staff? The only thing that scares me is teaching, but I think maybe God did put the desire to be SBS staff into my heart for a reason the first quarter, even if I lost sight of it for a few months.

Well, I think that's about all I need prayer for and all that is turning the wheels inside my mind. Onto bigger and better things this week! We're studying Jeremiah. I think I might cry. I mean, Isaiah was built up as this huge book no one ever completes, but I found it a lot easier than expected. I just hope Jeremiah is the same. I'm looking forward to finishing the big books. I cannot believe there are only 2 giant books left for us to study in SBS! Jeremiah and Ezekiel. The rest are "snacks" as our school leader described them Tuesday morning.

I hope you all are doing well adjusting to your weather changes. Just know that however hot it gets there it's more hot here, so be thankful and rejoice always!

I'm broken and I'm colder than her

The much anticipated week of Isaiah is over halfway done with. Am I caught up with my homework? No. Am I hurting a lot? Yes. Is Isaiah a crazy book? Most definitely. So far it is my favorite prophet. It is huge though, and can seem overwhelming to the untrained eye, but to the almost veteran SBSer it's a happily welcomed challenge! This week did not start out on the right foot however. I woke up early Monday morning, excited and ready to tackle this giant book of sin, judmgent, and restoration however I received an e-mail from my mother informing me of my Grandpa's passing just the night before. It was not the happiest news to wake up to the first day of Isaiah, but I was okay. I did not have much time to dwell on this information, so I did okay the first two days of the week. Yesterday however I was reminded of school fees due by Friday, of which I have no money to offer. I also was reminded of a credit card payment past due. Two very overwhelming things stacked on top of the grief of my grandfather passing away and the burden of Isaiah's assignments. I tried to sit down to start my homework for the day yesterday, but stared blankly at the page and decided I needed to pray. I went up to my empty room and then the rivers of tears flowed. Oh how they flowed. I finally had time to mourn and express my feelings to the Lord. After a while of sobbing and crying out to God I picked myself up, well, God helped pick me up, and then I went to my school leader to just share what is going on in my head and my heart this week. He said he could not do much, but he could push back the school fee deadline for me and that would relieve some of the stress. Then, he prayed for me which was wonderful. In times like this especially, I need prayer, and I am the type of person who doesn't ask for it even when I desperately need it. I don't know why I do that, but I just don't ask.

So, to conclude my seemingly awful day yesterday, it started of okay, climaxed into an outburst of emotion and tears, then quietly concluded in a peaceful, restful even evening.

Today I look forward to more teaching on Isaiah and cannot wait until lunch when I'm free to work on homework until the deadline Saturday evening.

This weekend I am so excited to go to Pune and stay with my dear friend Karen for one of the final times before she goes to Jaipur to staff a DTS. This means I won't see her again before I go home, but I am so excited for her to staff this DTS! I also will be making tacos with Merete my Norwegian counter-part on Sunday! We have some friends here who have never eaten tacos before. Can you believe that? So, we hope that the sole import grocery store in Pune has all the ingredients needed like taco seasoning and sour cream. Fingers crossed. Also, Sunday seems to be the Norwegian National Day, so we'll also be indulging in some ice cream and donning some sweet Norwegian flag pins. Excellent.

Pray for finances. I need $353 in one month. God will provide. Will he use YOU?

Pray that I would invite the Holy Spirit into my assignments so I don't just go through the motions of charting and I would actually experience God in these assignments. I realized I have been doing them out of my own strength the past few weeks, and I want to only do them out of God's strength. With his insight, not my own.

I feel as if God is stripping everything away from me so that for the first time in my life I really only have him to lean on. It reminds me of Isaiah where he says over and over again that he simply wants Israel to rely only on him and not other nations to save them. It's like the same with me. I have no money, I get no rest, food is not nourishing, and I have lost myself in the Bible most days of the week, but my mind has lost itself in worry and doubt. I need prayer of focus and desire to invite God into sharing my assignment load.

Also, if you wish, you can throw a party on Sunday because then I'll be free of the burden of Isaiah. It's a wonderful burden to carry and I am certainly seeing many, many characteristics of God, but it's just overwhelming to basically write your own commentary on the entire Bible in 9 months, and 7.5 months into it makes a girl go a little crazy.

Sorry there haven't been many pictures in awhile. I still have not received the camera in the mail and am actually a little worried since they sent it well over a month ago. Pray that it arrives safe and sound soon.

I've been known to fall in love

My friend told me the other day he wanted me to be careful playing volleyball because I oftentimes get hurt when I do, however, today walking up the stairs I fell and square the center of my knee cap with the edge of one marble step. Excellent. I now have a giant bump on my knee that is a strange shade of early sunrise blue. Even more excellent.

Conclusion, walking up stairs is more dangerous than playing volleyball.

This week our speaker is from the mid-west of the states and enjoys talking about judgment and sowing good or bad seeds, then reaping what you sow. She talked of how a lone man thought Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment coming down on New Orleans for its past of debauchery, slaves, and pirates. She said that he was like the voice crying out in the wilderness, that it was sad no other Christians came and spoke with him and supported him! She spoke of how her ex-husband had cheated on her and lived with another woman while they were married and God defended her by giving the other woman 2 miscarriages and cervical cancer. Now, I have not fully grasped God's character so far in studying the Bible, but these things do not sit right with me. These things make me angry in fact. I know God judged nations and people before Christ came. I know God also sent prophets and judges to those nations and people to warn them or save them even of what was coming and to hopefully turn their hearts to God and repentance. However, when Christ came he was the final prophet like that maybe. Calling not just one single people group or nation to repent, but the entire world. Throughout all time! So now, we are with our grace all the time. We have this new covenant. This new grace. We have the blood of Jesus, and I don't know if God pours his wrath on unrepentant cities anymore because Jesus came and took that old covenant curse upon himself for everyone. Needless to say, this week has been quite a rough one spiritually. I feel as if I'm wrestling with too many things and to top it all off we have this speaker, who really is a wonderful woman, but I just do not agree with her view on things.

Conclusion, I am not a republican, and I never will be. Also, FOX news is off the menu for the rest of my life.

Next week begins Isaiah. This is it. A major prophet. A major time-consuming prophet. I do not even know what I will do with myself next week. I mean, I know what I'll be doing, but is it possible? Will I complete Isaiah? Will I force myself into using my time wisely? Will I die of sheer exhaustion? This book might drain the life out of my bones! My heart may or may not stop beating next week, and if it does, I just want you all to know it was worth it, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance. Not really. SBS is tough. If I had known before coming here what I was getting myself into I would not have come. It's good to be ignorant sometimes. If I had known what India was like I would not have come either. Now that I've been somewhat held captive here for the past 7.5 months, I have fallen in love with India, and I can say that I'm glad SBS is almost over and I certainly am glad I've done it! I wouldn't do it over again, but sure am glad to almost be done. That was just like a synonymous parallelism. Excellent. Making use of my figure of speech terms for the prophets.

Conclusion, SBS is hard, but worth it.

Thanks to my Soul-mate I think I have discovered the best new musician in my life for a while. He is known as City and Colour. His real name is Dallas (city) Green (color). Dallas Green. Apparently he used to be in a punk rock band, and now he's solo and acoustic/folk! He is wonderful and his voice is quite haunting. His songs are catchy. His heart is real. Plus, who can resist a tattooed man playing banjo and guitar? No one. Not even one.

Conclusion, you should all check out City and Colour. Especially the song "The Girl" and "Constant Knot". Although, all others are good as well.

Pray that I get $353 dollars by next Friday to pay for the final half of my quarter. Then that's it! I'm halfway done with the third and final quarter of SBS! I'll be home in no time!

Pray that my heart and body and soul starts getting prepared right now to go home. The United States of America seems less appealing and more complicated the more I think about going home. I love my country, however, it's going to be very different when I get home. I will be different, whereas the country has not changed so much. Except that we have a new president.

Pray that I get enough rest the next month and a half and that I do not burn out. I'm almost there! I'd hate to burn out this close to the end of SBS.

Thank you for all your prayers and support and encouragement. Please don't cease from leaving comments or shooting off short e-mails. I like to hear what you're up to as well.