Packing is a Pain

Well now, look at how adorable my husband looks. Taking a little nap while I'm finishing up cleaning and packing. 

I can't believe that I am leaving tomorrow night. I knew this day would come, but never thought it would come so fast. This is my sad face.

Sad because I won't be with my husband for a little over two months. Sad because I won't be able to eat real Indian food for over two months. Sad because I really will miss this place.

As much as I can get frustrated with this country, I friggen' love it. I'm going to miss the simple things and the cheap food. I'll miss the beautiful women and adorable children. I'll miss seeing them playing cricket in the streets. I'll miss old uncles going for walks and laughing with missing teeth. I'll miss all my dear friends that are mostly over here now. My how things have changed in the past four years. My world has completely flip-turned, upside down, as the Fresh Prince once said.

However, things need to be changed once in a while and it's about that time for me to once again walk on U.S. soil and be with my family. Eleven months is a long time to be gone. In fact, I called my dad on the phone the other day and I can't even describe the feeling I got listening to his voice. I haven't heard his voice in too long. Usually I call my mom or skype my mom, not because I don't like my Dad or anything, but my mom's always around and my mom loves to talk. My dad however, is just like me, you call for a purpose, you don't call to just "chat" and when we're on the phone with each other it's short, and full of long pauses. It's like "hi" "how are you?" "that's great, I'm fine" "anything new?" "No? Cool." "well, have a good night." When we are face to face however, we can talk for hours, and it's that I'm looking forward to.

Sometimes I really do feel like my life is in a suitcase. And I just finally got used to living with my husband.

Sure I'd like a Smartphone, but it's not THAT important.

I just found out that J.K. Rowling has a new book out and I have absolutely no money to buy it. Oh the life of a volunteer worker in a third world country! People sometimes are shocked (or as many Indian people from the Northeast say, "socked") when they find out that not only am I a teacher of college students, but I am paying to be here. I am paying money to teach instead of being paid money to teach.

Some people are seriously nervous or apprehensive about "sponsoring" missionaries or people "in the ministry" blah blah blah, but honestly, it's not like they have to just give money to someone on the other side of the world. Sure, that's the best way to support someone like me, but it's not the only way. We have just enough money to barely cover our rent, electricity, gas, and food each month. Literally, there is not much money left over after the necessities are covered, so we don't get to really go see movies, go out to dinner, pay for cable TV, or even really put more than $1 on our pre-paid cell phones once a month. Trust me, $1 goes a long way and we don't usually run out, the only person who ever calls me is my husband anyway. I bet I get 4 phone calls in a week.




Anyway, giving money is not the only way to support a missionary or volunteer worker. You can give them an amazon gift card or itunes gift card. You can send them a care package full of goodies from home that are definitely not available where they are. You can write them an e-mail. You can buy or transfer Skymiles to their account. You can make an appointment to Skype call them. You can pray for them and write down your prayers and send them. You can actually go and visit them where they are working; see what they do every day; get your hands dirty for a week or two. When they come home on hiatus you can buy them coffee, food, a cell phone, books, or anything really. Or, ask them what they really need right now. There are so many things you can do for them that isn't just giving them cash. 

Needless to say, we don't have money to buy music, movies, or books for my kindle as we would like. We can't afford to buy the new iPhone 5 or even an old, used iPhone 3gs. We cannot afford to have "date nights" unless we stay inside and cook what food we already have in the house. We cannot afford to buy that awesome new shirt we saw in Pune on Friday.

We can't afford the things this world classifies as "necessity" and that's totally fine. Sure, it can be depressing when I log into Facebook and see a friend who bought a brand new iPad then a few days later a new snowboard and then a new car or a friend who's going on a vacation, again, across the country or overseas. Seeing people go to concert after concert or constantly uploading photos to instagram which means they must have an iPhone or Droid or some other smartphone. I almost want to delete my facebook account just so that I don't have to see how my "friends" spend their money as I am over here struggling to pay the rent and eat healthy food every day.

The hills near our home. It is quite beautiful here.

Ahh, Pune train station. Busy, smelly, and dirty.

But, this is where I am supposed to be. I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing. Living in India, with my wonderful husband, struggling to get by. I think I would not trade it for anyone else's life. I mean, we get to truly trust in God. We truly have to trust that he will provide everything we need.  We don't have a job to depend on. We don't have family money to depend on. We don't even have ourselves to depend on. We have only God and that's enough. Our lives are not full by the standards of most people on earth, but they are full by the standards of the Kingdom of God and that's enough for me.

Culture Shock, You Really Have No Idea.

It's quite amazing that I can be in Mumbai at one moment and then just 22 hours and 40 minutes later I can be in Minneapolis. I've been on trains across India that took longer than that to reach my destination. I once rode on a train for almost three days. On one train. However, I prefer train travel to plane travel because at least on a train in India I can lay down, and it costs $60 dollars for a three-day train journey. I absolutely cannot sleep on planes. It's impossible. I just can't sleep sitting up. The fact that the seats on an airplane "recline" is yet to be proven true.

Indian people amaze me though. They can sleep in any position. They sleep laying down. They sleep sitting up on the local train or on buses. They sleep crouching against a wall. I'm sure they even sleep standing up sometimes. They can also sleep through any disturbance or noise. I can't fall asleep if there's a ticking clock in my bedroom, but they can sleep through train horns, dogs barking all night, the call to prayer, fire crackers and wedding celebrations that last long into the night, and if they're sleeping while traveling they can even sleep through bumps, turns, talking, and shouting. 

I wish that I had acquired that aspect of being Indian. Sadly, I will have to busy myself with books and the in-flight movie selection to wile away the hours because Lord knows I don't want to talk to anyone and there is no way I'd ever fly first-class and be able to lay down unless God decides to do a miracle.

I remember the first time I came to India, there was no one sitting in the same row as me for the 17 hour flight. It was like I got onto a plane that was actually heaven. I got to lay out over the seats and actually sleep for most of the flight. Unfortunately, these days planes are getting more and more packed. There's not even enough room for all our over-head luggage and we're forced to check our carry-ons at the gate. Fortunately, they usually check them for free since they absolutely need to and that's how I get rid of extra baggage I didn't want to fork over $200 to check when I checked-in. 

I also discovered a way to eat really healthy, fresh food while flying. I am not a fan of airplane food and I'm sure it's not that healthy for you. When I book my tickets I say that I require gluten-free meals because firstly, if you have a special meal you get your food before everyone else, and secondly, in the gluten-free meals you get fresh veggies and fresh fruits and rice cakes and other fresh items without all the carbohydrates. Delicious and healthy! What more could you ask for on a stuffy, 9 hour flight? Would it be weird though to request a gluten-free meal and then drink beer on the flight?

As much as I hate flying, I have become quite good at it as the years go by. I am now able to get onto the flight with little to no carry-on luggage and have not had an overweight suitcase in years. 

The first most shocking thing for me flying to the U.S. after being in India is seeing all the white people. At least in Amsterdam there will be a lot of white people, but they won't be speaking English necessarily. It's when I land in Minneapolis that I almost start weeping. I almost weep because I can finally understand what everyone is saying around me. I almost weep because I see Starbucks and Caribou Coffee (not that I like Caribou, but it's familiar). I almost weep because things are in U.S. dollars again and too expensive. I almost weep because everyone has an iPhone or iPad or other hundreds of gadgets they're carrying around the airport and know that if they sold them I could pay rent for two months. I almost weep because I feel so out of place yet it feels so familiar.

The last time I was in Minnesota was in November of last year and so this is the longest I've ever been away from "home." I am curious to see if I will encounter more culture shock this time than ever before.

These are all the things I have to look forward to in a few weeks when I again make the trip from India to the United States. 

School's Back and Flying is Hard

Now that the school has started I will have less time to write in this blog. I hope that is okay with most of you. Between the newsletters, blog, the new school, teaching, writing a newsletter for the school, meeting with staff and students, and eating, sleeping, and spending time with my husband...I literally have no time to update this thing. But I will try my best!

The rains have finally stopped here in Lonavala. I am finally able to hang my freshly washed clothes outside to dry in the sun. It's a great feeling. I wish that I could take down all the walls in my house to just let the insides dry out as well.

I finished my first four days of teaching here and it was fun. I can say that being the first teacher the students see for the nine month course is actually a blessing. It helped me get to know the students quicker than I would have if I sat in the back of the classroom. I am not an incredibly social person and so purposefully approaching people I barely know to have "small talk" is not my cup of tea. However, as a teacher, I need to interact with them; get to know them so that I can teach them better.

My days are busy. I think we can all agree to that.

Dear friend's birthday party!

The work will never stop now that it's started.

The new students, playing a game of sorts. 

My two window guardians. They protect me from moths and other large, flying insects that try to get into my house.

This winter is going to be a little sad yet good. I will be flying home at the end of this month and my husband will also be traveling home at the end of next month. This only means one thing: we will spend our first Christmas as a married couple apart. I will be in Minnesota and he will be in Nagaland. It's not ideal, but it has to happen. This will hopefully be a kickstart his visa process during our apartness. Apparently, "apartness" is an actual word because my computer did not correct my spelling.

I just got my plane ticket home yesterday. This brought me to realize something I never was able to admit before; something that has been steadily growing as the years go by; something I wish didn't exist but can't help to be sure it does.

I am afraid of flying. 

Perhaps it's not the flying I'm afraid of, but death. I am not sure where this debilitating fear came from, but it's there and it's terrifying. I'm becoming a super-hypocondriac and am very quick to jump to the worst conclusions in most situations. I'm not sure where this started happening and how I've been feeding this fire, but it's been steadily getting worse and worse since I first came to India. I'm not even sure how to begin the healing or restoration process.

Finances are the least of my worried thoughts that clutter my mind. I think maybe this is what I was supposed to discover after hearing that God wants to give me some sort of freedom. I was not sure what I needed freedom from. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to let go of in order to receive this freedom, but now I can be sure that I must let go of my fear of...well, everything. I don't know how to do that though. But, I suppose acknowledging the problem is the first step after all, right?

On that happy little note, I really must say how excited I am to be back in Minnesota. I cannot wait to be there in the cold of November and December. I miss being cold. I've been hot, sweaty, and sticky for so long that I forget what it's like to be cold and dry; to be able to wear sweaters every moment of every day never getting that stickiness on my neck from sweat; to be able to drink chai without getting over-heated; to be able to wear closed-toed shoes again. Yes, I miss the cold. I think that I am not made for heat. I regret ever complaining of it being too hot during Minnesota summers. Now I laugh at my old self who complained of  "heat waves" or some nonsense like that.

So, if I can just distract myself by re-reading the first five books of George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series (a.k.a. the Game of Thrones books) on the plane. Then, before I know it I'll be home again. In the cold, riding in my Mom's car to the only home that I knew for the first 23 years of my life.