It's April 26th! Can anyone believe that? Perhaps you can, but I cannot. Time has flown by since I first touched down on the tarmac of the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport back on July 3rd of 2009. I remember my first good idea was to go back to India in January and when that was pushed back to June I thought, "that is going to take an eternity to get here." But it's here! It's just around the bend. For so long I have said that I could leave tomorrow at any given time, but now that it's so close I am not ready! I could not leave tomorrow even if I had cleaned everything at my parent's house and packed everything up. My heart isn't ready, my head is not ready, my body isn't prepared to get back to that spicy, oily, delicious Indian food. My mind isn't ready to sit through classes again and the thought of beginning this new journey in teaching others how to study God's words and historical backgrounds or going through a book verse by verse with a class seems daunting at best. No wonder Timothy plucks a special string in my heart. He's a young guy, given a daunting task to teach and raise up elders, and then to take over Paul's ministry. Yikes! I am so thankful that I am doing this not for myself at all and I have a wonderful, gracious God who sees only my potential when he looks at me and not my weaknesses.
I was reading a piece of Francis of Assisi's writings today. He wrote about studying scriptures not merely to be wiser than others or teach in such a way as to receive others' wrongful marvel, but to study knowing one will never fully understand it all and the Spirit will always have understanding and revelations for us to revel in. I do not wish to study the Bible or teach it to gain earthly glory or praise from humans, but to know God more and help lead others to Truth. All of which I cannot do on my own and in my own strength. I am but an instrument and a tool for God to use however he so wishes. The last few sentences I read of Francis for today are exactly what I want to happen to me and the other students and staff I will be working with. In fact I pray this is what every follower and lover of Jesus Christ would become:
[writing about those who study the Scriptures]
Only in their words and actions will you know the ones in whom the spirit of God's Word dwells. For in their very lives, they will not draw attention to themselves, but will be like a clear glass through which you can see our most high Lord God, to whom every good belongs.
I know a handful of people in my life that are that clear glass through which I see glimpses of God's majesty. I pray that one day I might be like them and that my friends and family around me would not see me as the friend, sister, or cousin that travels the world, but the friend, sister, or cousin that they see Jesus through.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Your Love is Better Than Life
I went to Starbucks this morning thinking to myself that I really want a Venti (Huge) drink, but would resolve for a Grande (medium). So when I got there I reloaded my starbucks gift card and ordered a Grande Peppermint Mocha Frappucino with no whip (which is my "usual" at all starbucks locations), and to my surprise and delight they made me a Venti anyway even though they had no idea the dialog within my brain on the way to Starbucks. God loves to bless his Beloved!
I heard back from the YWAM base in Tyler, Texas and they set up my staff account there so if anyone wishes to send me checks they can now make them out to "YWAM" and send them to the address on the side of the page here. It is very important however that you DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check. Write my name on a post-it note or piece of paper and throw it in the envelope with the check. Your donations will now be tax deductible and you can even opt for automatic monthly withdrawels if you wish! It's pretty snazzy. Just contact me if you would like to do that and I'll get you the info.
I cannot believe time has flown by so quickly. I leave already on June 16th! I will be going first to London to hang out with Lottie, by dear friend from SBS, and then a week later I'll be on a plane to Mumbai. God is providing everything in amazing ways! He is really surprising me with the people and places he's using to get his plan for my life out and about. His plan for India. I am excited to be a part of this change in India. God is doing mighty things there and I feel honored to be an instrument of His over there, and even here now while He is preparing me to go there again. I never thought I'd live long-term in India. Ever. In fact I was all about the "secular" music industry for awhile and convinced I would somehow be influential in the US over musicians. But God had bigger plans, and yes, I do believe this is bigger than being a famous musician.
I have decided to read through the Psalms in the next 39 days, 40 days beginning yesterday. I also have these two books I found in one of my mom's many boxes of books. One is a 40 day journey with Augustine and the other is a 40 day journey with Francis of Assisi. So, I'm set for these next 40 days. I want to take a journey these 40 days. A journey to find more of my identity in Jesus and to be open for God's preparation of my mind, heart, will, body, and every other part of my life that needs to and wants to be touched by Him. I am excited for what this year is already becoming and what doors it will open and has opened. I have already met a lot of new people excited about God's kingdom in India and here in Minnesota too. I'm glad it's all one big kingdom and not divided into different sections or cities or buildings. How awesome will it be when His kingdom is 100% here on earth? I cannot even picture what that will be like.
This last weekend, Easter weekend, I was a part of a group of people who sought to change lives with Jesus Christ in a small city a little north of where I am. I'll admit, this place has not been agreeable with me for some time, I love the people involved with it, I have just been incredibly critical and a little tiny bit bitter when it comes to this place. I have been praying about my attitude and I don't think it has completely changed, but this last weekend I was sitting in a church service in their smaller campus and when that "altar" call came and I think only 6 or 7 people stood up to acknowledge they changed their lives at that moment, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I felt the uncontrollable urge to weep. Weep for joy because these people have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and it's not going to be the easiest life from here on out, but it's going to be a life full of love, support, and joy no matter what they do! It's going to be a life of grace, mercy, and peace with the right heart and attitude. I've been in this family ever since I can remember, and it's not cake walk, but when I sit back and really think about the situations I get myself into I do know, I truly know, that I am loved, accepted, and valuable. I have realized for some time now that although I might not agree with some of the teachings of this group of people or how they do things, I do know for a fact that their hearts are in the right place, and if there's one thing I learned from studying the Bible, that's all that really matters to God. The condition of our heart, the attitude of our heart. And so I pray now that my heart would always be for Him and not against Him. That my heart would truly reflect God's heart and that it would drive and push me to do marvelous things with God's help for His purposes.
God is truly the most wonderful being. He is everything I hope to be and I am so glad that I am on His side and He is on mine. He won't leave you or ignore you. He will always love you and see your truest potential instead of your mistakes and guilt. I am glad he is taking this journey with me, or perhaps I should say that I am taking this journey with Him.
I hope to play music one more time at Maverick's Wood Grill before I leave, and also I'll keep you all posted for a "farewell" party coming sometime in June I reckon where we can swim, barbecue and laugh one last time before I go to India.
Thank you for partnering with me and our Creator in this adventure and this vision God has placed in all of our hearts.
I heard back from the YWAM base in Tyler, Texas and they set up my staff account there so if anyone wishes to send me checks they can now make them out to "YWAM" and send them to the address on the side of the page here. It is very important however that you DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check. Write my name on a post-it note or piece of paper and throw it in the envelope with the check. Your donations will now be tax deductible and you can even opt for automatic monthly withdrawels if you wish! It's pretty snazzy. Just contact me if you would like to do that and I'll get you the info.
I cannot believe time has flown by so quickly. I leave already on June 16th! I will be going first to London to hang out with Lottie, by dear friend from SBS, and then a week later I'll be on a plane to Mumbai. God is providing everything in amazing ways! He is really surprising me with the people and places he's using to get his plan for my life out and about. His plan for India. I am excited to be a part of this change in India. God is doing mighty things there and I feel honored to be an instrument of His over there, and even here now while He is preparing me to go there again. I never thought I'd live long-term in India. Ever. In fact I was all about the "secular" music industry for awhile and convinced I would somehow be influential in the US over musicians. But God had bigger plans, and yes, I do believe this is bigger than being a famous musician.
I have decided to read through the Psalms in the next 39 days, 40 days beginning yesterday. I also have these two books I found in one of my mom's many boxes of books. One is a 40 day journey with Augustine and the other is a 40 day journey with Francis of Assisi. So, I'm set for these next 40 days. I want to take a journey these 40 days. A journey to find more of my identity in Jesus and to be open for God's preparation of my mind, heart, will, body, and every other part of my life that needs to and wants to be touched by Him. I am excited for what this year is already becoming and what doors it will open and has opened. I have already met a lot of new people excited about God's kingdom in India and here in Minnesota too. I'm glad it's all one big kingdom and not divided into different sections or cities or buildings. How awesome will it be when His kingdom is 100% here on earth? I cannot even picture what that will be like.
This last weekend, Easter weekend, I was a part of a group of people who sought to change lives with Jesus Christ in a small city a little north of where I am. I'll admit, this place has not been agreeable with me for some time, I love the people involved with it, I have just been incredibly critical and a little tiny bit bitter when it comes to this place. I have been praying about my attitude and I don't think it has completely changed, but this last weekend I was sitting in a church service in their smaller campus and when that "altar" call came and I think only 6 or 7 people stood up to acknowledge they changed their lives at that moment, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I felt the uncontrollable urge to weep. Weep for joy because these people have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and it's not going to be the easiest life from here on out, but it's going to be a life full of love, support, and joy no matter what they do! It's going to be a life of grace, mercy, and peace with the right heart and attitude. I've been in this family ever since I can remember, and it's not cake walk, but when I sit back and really think about the situations I get myself into I do know, I truly know, that I am loved, accepted, and valuable. I have realized for some time now that although I might not agree with some of the teachings of this group of people or how they do things, I do know for a fact that their hearts are in the right place, and if there's one thing I learned from studying the Bible, that's all that really matters to God. The condition of our heart, the attitude of our heart. And so I pray now that my heart would always be for Him and not against Him. That my heart would truly reflect God's heart and that it would drive and push me to do marvelous things with God's help for His purposes.
God is truly the most wonderful being. He is everything I hope to be and I am so glad that I am on His side and He is on mine. He won't leave you or ignore you. He will always love you and see your truest potential instead of your mistakes and guilt. I am glad he is taking this journey with me, or perhaps I should say that I am taking this journey with Him.
I hope to play music one more time at Maverick's Wood Grill before I leave, and also I'll keep you all posted for a "farewell" party coming sometime in June I reckon where we can swim, barbecue and laugh one last time before I go to India.
Thank you for partnering with me and our Creator in this adventure and this vision God has placed in all of our hearts.
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