Home, sweet home.
I think being home is wonderful! It is not easy though. I caught a cold and from my second day back until now I am sneezing, coughing, going through kleenex boxes like anything, and my main staples each day have become Mucinex, Dayquil and Nyquil. I cannot go on much longer like this.
It sure is wonderful to be with my family again, spending time with my mom, my dad, Justin, and the beautiful newer family that lives in our basement consisting of one of my older brothers, his wife, her daughter, and their new 3 month old baby boy! It's quite wonderful.
I cannot help but wonder sometimes am I really making the right choice in choosing India? Am I really just choosing India or am I choosing God? I believe it's both. Sure, living in India for the rest of my life terrifies me. I constantly find myself thinking about finances for a married couple in the mission field in India, then I think what about getting older and all those doctor appointments that are so necessary in the US but I don't know that they even have them in India. Where will I have children and how will I raise them? Coming home is good because my family is asking a lot of good questions, but it is also very hard because it is making me second guess decisions and committments. I just keep praying God will continue to give me grace in certain situations and peace about the future.
I still cannot officially say what the future holds, but I can write it here for all to read soon! A lot of you already know, but nothing is official yet.
I am looking forward to my next two months at home to study, prepare, and really just rest in the presence of God. It will be good to clear my head and heart and get my focus straight again.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
For You are good, for You are good, for You are good to me.
The School of Biblical Studies in Lonavala has begun! One-and-a-half weeks ago the 2010-2011 SBS has started and both staff and students are very excited! For the first three weeks we have the "Seminar" which is the time we teach them the study method and how to observe, interpret, and apply the book we are currently studying. It is three weeks of class from 10:30 AM until 6:30 PM with a few breaks here and there and a major break for lunch. Basically it is the most overwhelming three weeks of anyone's life! They learn tons of new things every single day and feel like they will never be able to remember them over the next nine months. O what will they do? How will they ever complete this SBS with passing grades?? Well, I am here, an alumni, a survivor, to say that if I can do it literally anyone can do it. Look at me now! I am even staffing this school! How crazy am I? SBS really is not as hard as people make it out to be. It just takes up so much of your time, that is all. If you are good at managing your time then you would be super at an SBS!
We have 15 students and 8 staff for this school year. There are a few students who are planning to only do the first quarter, or first three months of the school, but typically once they complete the first quarter they end up finishing all 9 months because why stop without finishing the New Testament? Then, why stop without knowing the Old Testament which is the foundation for the New! And so, that's typically how it works.
Monsoon is officially over! It is sunny all day every day, and now my things are finally beginning to dry out and I pray the smell of mold gets out of my bedroom soon. I wish I could just rip off the roof of my house and let my bedroom bask in the sunlight all day so that it dries.
Recently I have started working out every day. Running every other morning, and then "weight training" every other day in between. But as I do this I know I need to eat more veggies and protein, but it is so hard in India to get protein in your system. I really think I have an iron deficiency when I come here because I eat no red meat and am not sure how to get iron any other way. Spinach maybe? No thanks. Anyway, at least it is not impossible to get iron tablets here.
The theme for our school this year is, "Experiencing God." We are encouraging staff and students to experience God every single day, and to write down or somehow record their experiences. How did you experience God today? Because, as we study the Bible we realize we are studying other people's experiences with God, not necessarily God Himself, but other's experiences. From those experiences we can know who God is. Therefore, we are desperate to have our own experiences with God so that we can know Him even more and be inspired to go out and do the things He calls us to.
I have been experiencing God's goodness lately. His goodness in bringing me here and providing all my needs. His goodness in calming my nerves and removing my fear of teaching and replacing it with confidence. Even through a bad teaching outreach experience He was good and has strengthened my confidence through it. I have seen His goodness in my family as my brother and sister-in-law just had a beautiful, healthy baby boy a few days ago! His goodness is seen every time I walk to my house here in Lonavala because just living off campus is good in and of itself! He has provided a new and wonderful roommate who is consistent and so encouraging. He has answered a huge prayer in my life and I am so excited for what the future holds in this area. God is truly good. In the midst of all this I feel as if I have never been attacked spiritually as much as I am right now, but I don't even focus or think about that because God is good in the midst of this. I often wake up singing praise songs, it is crazy the things God is doing here in India.
I am truly blessed to be living this life right now. To be in India, a country that is so hungry for a real God. A country that desperately needs justice and peace. To be here teaching that there is a God who brings justice and peace. A God that is real and alive and active. I am blessed to be a part of God's heart for India, and am excited because I think that He is beginning to show me that India will always be a part of my life. I am blessed to have so many people here and at home who are partners with me in bringing God's kingdom to this earth. Partnering with me in prayer, finances, and love. I could not ask for anything more than obeying God and bringing others along with me!
I hope that the days begin to get cooler. It is now becoming quite hot as the monsoon is over and the sun is out and shining brightly. It will get cooler next month, but for now I think it will remain hot for a few weeks. I would say it is around 90 degrees every single day now, but the funny thing is that the first time I came to India was at this same time of year and I thought I would never stop sweating. I slept with no covers at night and I took only cold showers. Now I have become used to this weather somewhat. I still am pretty sweaty (I know you are enjoying hearing about how much I sweat), but I take hot showers because cold is too cold for me, and I also sleep in a sleeping bag at night! A sleeping bag! That is a super contrast to when I first came to this country.
This week we are studying Philippians and next week we begin Ephesians. Pray for the students as they are feeling overwhelmed learning all these new things suddenly! I will be teaching the book of James on November 5th! Pray for inspiration to make creative assignments and to use creative teaching methods as all the staff are teaching. We want to see more creativity in this school.
We have 15 students and 8 staff for this school year. There are a few students who are planning to only do the first quarter, or first three months of the school, but typically once they complete the first quarter they end up finishing all 9 months because why stop without finishing the New Testament? Then, why stop without knowing the Old Testament which is the foundation for the New! And so, that's typically how it works.
Monsoon is officially over! It is sunny all day every day, and now my things are finally beginning to dry out and I pray the smell of mold gets out of my bedroom soon. I wish I could just rip off the roof of my house and let my bedroom bask in the sunlight all day so that it dries.
Recently I have started working out every day. Running every other morning, and then "weight training" every other day in between. But as I do this I know I need to eat more veggies and protein, but it is so hard in India to get protein in your system. I really think I have an iron deficiency when I come here because I eat no red meat and am not sure how to get iron any other way. Spinach maybe? No thanks. Anyway, at least it is not impossible to get iron tablets here.
The theme for our school this year is, "Experiencing God." We are encouraging staff and students to experience God every single day, and to write down or somehow record their experiences. How did you experience God today? Because, as we study the Bible we realize we are studying other people's experiences with God, not necessarily God Himself, but other's experiences. From those experiences we can know who God is. Therefore, we are desperate to have our own experiences with God so that we can know Him even more and be inspired to go out and do the things He calls us to.
I have been experiencing God's goodness lately. His goodness in bringing me here and providing all my needs. His goodness in calming my nerves and removing my fear of teaching and replacing it with confidence. Even through a bad teaching outreach experience He was good and has strengthened my confidence through it. I have seen His goodness in my family as my brother and sister-in-law just had a beautiful, healthy baby boy a few days ago! His goodness is seen every time I walk to my house here in Lonavala because just living off campus is good in and of itself! He has provided a new and wonderful roommate who is consistent and so encouraging. He has answered a huge prayer in my life and I am so excited for what the future holds in this area. God is truly good. In the midst of all this I feel as if I have never been attacked spiritually as much as I am right now, but I don't even focus or think about that because God is good in the midst of this. I often wake up singing praise songs, it is crazy the things God is doing here in India.
I am truly blessed to be living this life right now. To be in India, a country that is so hungry for a real God. A country that desperately needs justice and peace. To be here teaching that there is a God who brings justice and peace. A God that is real and alive and active. I am blessed to be a part of God's heart for India, and am excited because I think that He is beginning to show me that India will always be a part of my life. I am blessed to have so many people here and at home who are partners with me in bringing God's kingdom to this earth. Partnering with me in prayer, finances, and love. I could not ask for anything more than obeying God and bringing others along with me!
I hope that the days begin to get cooler. It is now becoming quite hot as the monsoon is over and the sun is out and shining brightly. It will get cooler next month, but for now I think it will remain hot for a few weeks. I would say it is around 90 degrees every single day now, but the funny thing is that the first time I came to India was at this same time of year and I thought I would never stop sweating. I slept with no covers at night and I took only cold showers. Now I have become used to this weather somewhat. I still am pretty sweaty (I know you are enjoying hearing about how much I sweat), but I take hot showers because cold is too cold for me, and I also sleep in a sleeping bag at night! A sleeping bag! That is a super contrast to when I first came to this country.
This week we are studying Philippians and next week we begin Ephesians. Pray for the students as they are feeling overwhelmed learning all these new things suddenly! I will be teaching the book of James on November 5th! Pray for inspiration to make creative assignments and to use creative teaching methods as all the staff are teaching. We want to see more creativity in this school.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Rain down, all around the world we're singin'
Monsoon. What a wet, messy life. Some days it hardly rains, some days it rains most all day, but there is never a day without rain. One must always carry an umbrella with them where ever they go, no matter the inconvenience. Right now I did not carry my umbrella with me and I am stuck because it is raining and I straightened my hair today for some stupid reason and now I do not wish to go out in the rain which I will have to if it does not let up in the next 15 minutes.
It is good to be back. Back in India, back in Lonavala, back on base. Seeing familiar faces and catching up, and at the same time meeting new people and getting to know them. The house I live in is wonderful. I love living off campus in spite of the money issues that very suddenly came up when I got here. I'm not worried. God will provide if that is where he wants me to stay. There is always the option of moving back on base.
Yesterday I experienced my first time buying chicken at the market. How incredible! You tell the guy which chicken you want, he picks it out of its cage, weighs it, then slits its throat and drops it in a barrel where you can hear it moving around, flapping and squawking. Then he pulls it out of the barrel and this bloody chicken then gets its feathers taken off amongst other things and he puts your meat in a plastic bag and then in another plastic bag. All without wearing gloves, all out in the open, all in the same place he has executed chickens for the last who knows how many years. My roommate, Chitti, who is from Hyderabad and very much Indian asked me how we buy our chicken in the US. I told her we just go to the store, and it's already cut up and packaged in nice little trays, wrapped in plastic. We do not ever have to see the live chicken. What a difference! I look forward to buying chicken in the future. Being here has always reminded me of Biblical times. It must have been a very similar culture when Jesus was around, except there would be a whole lot more Jews.
Titus Project starts on Monday. Three weeks of lectures, the seminar, teaching the students (me) how to teach what I learned during SBS and how to prepare and give lectures. Then I will go for 5 weeks to Delhi in North India and teach at IHOP (International House of Prayer) there, at least that is what I have heard. I am looking forward to being in classes again and learning. I am more nervous about this outreach than I am for two years as an SBS staff.
In a few minutes all the staff on base are going to our Base leader's home for dinner and so I must bid you farewell for now. Know that I have reached safe and sound and although I am having some trouble adjusting it is getting better slowly but surely.
It is good to be back. Back in India, back in Lonavala, back on base. Seeing familiar faces and catching up, and at the same time meeting new people and getting to know them. The house I live in is wonderful. I love living off campus in spite of the money issues that very suddenly came up when I got here. I'm not worried. God will provide if that is where he wants me to stay. There is always the option of moving back on base.
Yesterday I experienced my first time buying chicken at the market. How incredible! You tell the guy which chicken you want, he picks it out of its cage, weighs it, then slits its throat and drops it in a barrel where you can hear it moving around, flapping and squawking. Then he pulls it out of the barrel and this bloody chicken then gets its feathers taken off amongst other things and he puts your meat in a plastic bag and then in another plastic bag. All without wearing gloves, all out in the open, all in the same place he has executed chickens for the last who knows how many years. My roommate, Chitti, who is from Hyderabad and very much Indian asked me how we buy our chicken in the US. I told her we just go to the store, and it's already cut up and packaged in nice little trays, wrapped in plastic. We do not ever have to see the live chicken. What a difference! I look forward to buying chicken in the future. Being here has always reminded me of Biblical times. It must have been a very similar culture when Jesus was around, except there would be a whole lot more Jews.
Titus Project starts on Monday. Three weeks of lectures, the seminar, teaching the students (me) how to teach what I learned during SBS and how to prepare and give lectures. Then I will go for 5 weeks to Delhi in North India and teach at IHOP (International House of Prayer) there, at least that is what I have heard. I am looking forward to being in classes again and learning. I am more nervous about this outreach than I am for two years as an SBS staff.
In a few minutes all the staff on base are going to our Base leader's home for dinner and so I must bid you farewell for now. Know that I have reached safe and sound and although I am having some trouble adjusting it is getting better slowly but surely.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Once there was a way...
I am beginning to consider stressing out. I know I shouldn't and there is no need for it, but I leave in precisely 19 days and only receive one more paycheck in that span of time. I have so many things I need still before I go and things I don't need, but would be nice to have, like an iPad and different type of visa. Both of which I don't need, but who wouldn't love an iPad and who wouldn't love a visa that allows you to stay in India for two years without having to leave? As of right now I'm going in on my tourist visa and will have to leave around Christmas for two months. Also as of right now I am the only female staff member for our school, so what will they do without the only female staff for two whole months? I have no idea, but again, not something I need to worry about. Life filled with worry is not a life to live. It's the life I have lived up until the last year. However, I've grown accustomed to faith and I have experienced worrying about things I can't change and also not worrying about things I can't change, and the latter is a much better way of living. Either option will not alter the impending result, I will just feel more at peace about the end result if I stop worrying about it now. And now I'm babbling.
As the deadline for departure comes ever closer, I begin to wonder if this really is what God wants me to do, and if I'm being obedient to him or if I'm doing something that I want to do without even consulting God or seeing if this is truly what he wants. Then I remember how much I don't like speaking, teaching, or leading a bunch of college age (my age!) people. And I remember how much I dislike flying on airplanes. Or how much I can't stand the heat of India. Or how about the fact that I am literally going to go crazy when monsoon happens and I'm stuck inside a moldy house or classroom all day. So, when I think about those things and realize that everything about going to India and teaching the Bible is everything I have never truly desired for myself, I know that it has not started out as my selfish desire, but has grown into my desire to do God's desire. If any of that makes any sense.
So, needless to say, I'm excited, nervous, scared, prepared yet so unprepared, willing and able to go to India and all that entails. All the people I loved most are leaving India though, suddenly, without so much as a warning. My Norwegian roommate whom I adore will be my roommate for two weeks, then she's going home. My best friend from Pune moved all the way to the Philippines for the next two years. My dear friend is most likely going to Mysore for his SBS the day after I arrive. So really, I still will have people that are near and dear to my heart there, but three of the major handful are leaving or already gone. God is quickly showing me that yes, I need relationships in this life and that is one of the most important factors of our life on earth, but they must never replace my relationship with Him. Which happens a lot in my life in particular.
Work here is going wonderfully. Kids are so funny. I love seeing how much they change even in just three months of me being in their lives. There is a little girl who used to be so quiet and sweet, and now she follows me everywhere and is always talking and so silly. Then, there's this other girl with down syndrom who I'll admit has always been a little intimidating just because she never listens to any of the teachers really and does what she wants when she wants where she wants, but yesterday for the first time ever she came up to me randomly and just hugged me and then went wherever I went and was really sweet to me. She listened to me when I told her to stop doing something and she let me put sunscreen on her which is not possible for any of the other teachers. Ahhh, I just love these kids. I'm sad they only get to be a part of my life for three months. Three months of all my years on this earth! I know that if I see any of them again it won't be for two years and they won't remember me. But that doesn't discourage me from building relationships with them. In the past it would have.
So, if you feel like helping a sister out, these are things I need before I leave in 19 days. If you don't feel like giving money, but want to help, this is a super practical way to help:
1. Guitar strings - Elixer light acoustic nano or poly, don't matter to me (I need to bring a ton of them with me since India's selection is so minuscule and I only use a certain brand for my guitar)
2. Girl's clothes - 3T or 4T (my school leader has a daughter who is turning three next month and they need some warmer clothes for Monsoon coming up and then for later in life too! So if you have some laying around you don't need anymore I would love to take them with me!)
3. Febreeze (yeah it gets pretty stinky during and after Monsoon cause of the water and mold)
4. Colored pencils - Crayola twistable ones (they work so good on a Bible you don't even know!)
5. How To Read The Bible For All Its Worth by Gordon D. Fee & Douglas Stuart (it's required reading for the outreach that I'll be doing shortly after arriving)
6. Digital camera - To keep you all updated with pictures and videos! (I need one of those "tough" cameras that are waterproof and drop proof and crush resistant and all that good stuff. I drop everything I own and it's a wonder my laptop hasn't yet fallen, but my iPod is dead from too many drops and my phone is barely hanging on. I like the Pentax W90,but any brand is good I suppose)
7. A Target gift card would be nice so I can get all those little things I need that I won't ask for like shampoo, face wash, vitamins, aleve, misc. toiletries.
8. I need someone like from the show Hoarders who would want to go through all my possessions with me and ask hard questions(don't worry, not as much as Hoarders would have) and be strict about keeping it or not, cause honestly, I want to get rid of everything I'm not bringing with me, but of course save some things. Clothes are my biggest stronghold.
That's all I can think of right now. Please pray for more female staff, peace about leaving, and that I wouldn't worry about God's provision of all that I need. That my last month home would be productive and not filled with idleness. That I would be wise with my money and time.
SATURDAY, JUNE 12th!!!!!
4:00 PM until WHENEVER
Come one, come all to my bon voyage/christmas/birthday party! We will play silly games, go swimming, and eat lots of food! Bring a towel, swimsuit, gift of $5 or less (wrapped in xmas paper) for a gift exchanging game, and mostly bring yourself! I want to see all of you before I head out. Please, please, please make an appearance!
At my parent's house! E-mail me or call me if you need the address!
As the deadline for departure comes ever closer, I begin to wonder if this really is what God wants me to do, and if I'm being obedient to him or if I'm doing something that I want to do without even consulting God or seeing if this is truly what he wants. Then I remember how much I don't like speaking, teaching, or leading a bunch of college age (my age!) people. And I remember how much I dislike flying on airplanes. Or how much I can't stand the heat of India. Or how about the fact that I am literally going to go crazy when monsoon happens and I'm stuck inside a moldy house or classroom all day. So, when I think about those things and realize that everything about going to India and teaching the Bible is everything I have never truly desired for myself, I know that it has not started out as my selfish desire, but has grown into my desire to do God's desire. If any of that makes any sense.
So, needless to say, I'm excited, nervous, scared, prepared yet so unprepared, willing and able to go to India and all that entails. All the people I loved most are leaving India though, suddenly, without so much as a warning. My Norwegian roommate whom I adore will be my roommate for two weeks, then she's going home. My best friend from Pune moved all the way to the Philippines for the next two years. My dear friend is most likely going to Mysore for his SBS the day after I arrive. So really, I still will have people that are near and dear to my heart there, but three of the major handful are leaving or already gone. God is quickly showing me that yes, I need relationships in this life and that is one of the most important factors of our life on earth, but they must never replace my relationship with Him. Which happens a lot in my life in particular.
Work here is going wonderfully. Kids are so funny. I love seeing how much they change even in just three months of me being in their lives. There is a little girl who used to be so quiet and sweet, and now she follows me everywhere and is always talking and so silly. Then, there's this other girl with down syndrom who I'll admit has always been a little intimidating just because she never listens to any of the teachers really and does what she wants when she wants where she wants, but yesterday for the first time ever she came up to me randomly and just hugged me and then went wherever I went and was really sweet to me. She listened to me when I told her to stop doing something and she let me put sunscreen on her which is not possible for any of the other teachers. Ahhh, I just love these kids. I'm sad they only get to be a part of my life for three months. Three months of all my years on this earth! I know that if I see any of them again it won't be for two years and they won't remember me. But that doesn't discourage me from building relationships with them. In the past it would have.
So, if you feel like helping a sister out, these are things I need before I leave in 19 days. If you don't feel like giving money, but want to help, this is a super practical way to help:
1. Guitar strings - Elixer light acoustic nano or poly, don't matter to me (I need to bring a ton of them with me since India's selection is so minuscule and I only use a certain brand for my guitar)
2. Girl's clothes - 3T or 4T (my school leader has a daughter who is turning three next month and they need some warmer clothes for Monsoon coming up and then for later in life too! So if you have some laying around you don't need anymore I would love to take them with me!)
3. Febreeze (yeah it gets pretty stinky during and after Monsoon cause of the water and mold)
4. Colored pencils - Crayola twistable ones (they work so good on a Bible you don't even know!)
5. How To Read The Bible For All Its Worth by Gordon D. Fee & Douglas Stuart (it's required reading for the outreach that I'll be doing shortly after arriving)
6. Digital camera - To keep you all updated with pictures and videos! (I need one of those "tough" cameras that are waterproof and drop proof and crush resistant and all that good stuff. I drop everything I own and it's a wonder my laptop hasn't yet fallen, but my iPod is dead from too many drops and my phone is barely hanging on. I like the Pentax W90,but any brand is good I suppose)
7. A Target gift card would be nice so I can get all those little things I need that I won't ask for like shampoo, face wash, vitamins, aleve, misc. toiletries.
8. I need someone like from the show Hoarders who would want to go through all my possessions with me and ask hard questions(don't worry, not as much as Hoarders would have) and be strict about keeping it or not, cause honestly, I want to get rid of everything I'm not bringing with me, but of course save some things. Clothes are my biggest stronghold.
That's all I can think of right now. Please pray for more female staff, peace about leaving, and that I wouldn't worry about God's provision of all that I need. That my last month home would be productive and not filled with idleness. That I would be wise with my money and time.
SATURDAY, JUNE 12th!!!!!
4:00 PM until WHENEVER
Come one, come all to my bon voyage/christmas/birthday party! We will play silly games, go swimming, and eat lots of food! Bring a towel, swimsuit, gift of $5 or less (wrapped in xmas paper) for a gift exchanging game, and mostly bring yourself! I want to see all of you before I head out. Please, please, please make an appearance!
At my parent's house! E-mail me or call me if you need the address!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Skeleton You Are My Friend
It's April 26th! Can anyone believe that? Perhaps you can, but I cannot. Time has flown by since I first touched down on the tarmac of the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport back on July 3rd of 2009. I remember my first good idea was to go back to India in January and when that was pushed back to June I thought, "that is going to take an eternity to get here." But it's here! It's just around the bend. For so long I have said that I could leave tomorrow at any given time, but now that it's so close I am not ready! I could not leave tomorrow even if I had cleaned everything at my parent's house and packed everything up. My heart isn't ready, my head is not ready, my body isn't prepared to get back to that spicy, oily, delicious Indian food. My mind isn't ready to sit through classes again and the thought of beginning this new journey in teaching others how to study God's words and historical backgrounds or going through a book verse by verse with a class seems daunting at best. No wonder Timothy plucks a special string in my heart. He's a young guy, given a daunting task to teach and raise up elders, and then to take over Paul's ministry. Yikes! I am so thankful that I am doing this not for myself at all and I have a wonderful, gracious God who sees only my potential when he looks at me and not my weaknesses.
I was reading a piece of Francis of Assisi's writings today. He wrote about studying scriptures not merely to be wiser than others or teach in such a way as to receive others' wrongful marvel, but to study knowing one will never fully understand it all and the Spirit will always have understanding and revelations for us to revel in. I do not wish to study the Bible or teach it to gain earthly glory or praise from humans, but to know God more and help lead others to Truth. All of which I cannot do on my own and in my own strength. I am but an instrument and a tool for God to use however he so wishes. The last few sentences I read of Francis for today are exactly what I want to happen to me and the other students and staff I will be working with. In fact I pray this is what every follower and lover of Jesus Christ would become:
[writing about those who study the Scriptures]
Only in their words and actions will you know the ones in whom the spirit of God's Word dwells. For in their very lives, they will not draw attention to themselves, but will be like a clear glass through which you can see our most high Lord God, to whom every good belongs.
I know a handful of people in my life that are that clear glass through which I see glimpses of God's majesty. I pray that one day I might be like them and that my friends and family around me would not see me as the friend, sister, or cousin that travels the world, but the friend, sister, or cousin that they see Jesus through.
I was reading a piece of Francis of Assisi's writings today. He wrote about studying scriptures not merely to be wiser than others or teach in such a way as to receive others' wrongful marvel, but to study knowing one will never fully understand it all and the Spirit will always have understanding and revelations for us to revel in. I do not wish to study the Bible or teach it to gain earthly glory or praise from humans, but to know God more and help lead others to Truth. All of which I cannot do on my own and in my own strength. I am but an instrument and a tool for God to use however he so wishes. The last few sentences I read of Francis for today are exactly what I want to happen to me and the other students and staff I will be working with. In fact I pray this is what every follower and lover of Jesus Christ would become:
[writing about those who study the Scriptures]
Only in their words and actions will you know the ones in whom the spirit of God's Word dwells. For in their very lives, they will not draw attention to themselves, but will be like a clear glass through which you can see our most high Lord God, to whom every good belongs.
I know a handful of people in my life that are that clear glass through which I see glimpses of God's majesty. I pray that one day I might be like them and that my friends and family around me would not see me as the friend, sister, or cousin that travels the world, but the friend, sister, or cousin that they see Jesus through.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Your Love is Better Than Life
I went to Starbucks this morning thinking to myself that I really want a Venti (Huge) drink, but would resolve for a Grande (medium). So when I got there I reloaded my starbucks gift card and ordered a Grande Peppermint Mocha Frappucino with no whip (which is my "usual" at all starbucks locations), and to my surprise and delight they made me a Venti anyway even though they had no idea the dialog within my brain on the way to Starbucks. God loves to bless his Beloved!
I heard back from the YWAM base in Tyler, Texas and they set up my staff account there so if anyone wishes to send me checks they can now make them out to "YWAM" and send them to the address on the side of the page here. It is very important however that you DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check. Write my name on a post-it note or piece of paper and throw it in the envelope with the check. Your donations will now be tax deductible and you can even opt for automatic monthly withdrawels if you wish! It's pretty snazzy. Just contact me if you would like to do that and I'll get you the info.
I cannot believe time has flown by so quickly. I leave already on June 16th! I will be going first to London to hang out with Lottie, by dear friend from SBS, and then a week later I'll be on a plane to Mumbai. God is providing everything in amazing ways! He is really surprising me with the people and places he's using to get his plan for my life out and about. His plan for India. I am excited to be a part of this change in India. God is doing mighty things there and I feel honored to be an instrument of His over there, and even here now while He is preparing me to go there again. I never thought I'd live long-term in India. Ever. In fact I was all about the "secular" music industry for awhile and convinced I would somehow be influential in the US over musicians. But God had bigger plans, and yes, I do believe this is bigger than being a famous musician.
I have decided to read through the Psalms in the next 39 days, 40 days beginning yesterday. I also have these two books I found in one of my mom's many boxes of books. One is a 40 day journey with Augustine and the other is a 40 day journey with Francis of Assisi. So, I'm set for these next 40 days. I want to take a journey these 40 days. A journey to find more of my identity in Jesus and to be open for God's preparation of my mind, heart, will, body, and every other part of my life that needs to and wants to be touched by Him. I am excited for what this year is already becoming and what doors it will open and has opened. I have already met a lot of new people excited about God's kingdom in India and here in Minnesota too. I'm glad it's all one big kingdom and not divided into different sections or cities or buildings. How awesome will it be when His kingdom is 100% here on earth? I cannot even picture what that will be like.
This last weekend, Easter weekend, I was a part of a group of people who sought to change lives with Jesus Christ in a small city a little north of where I am. I'll admit, this place has not been agreeable with me for some time, I love the people involved with it, I have just been incredibly critical and a little tiny bit bitter when it comes to this place. I have been praying about my attitude and I don't think it has completely changed, but this last weekend I was sitting in a church service in their smaller campus and when that "altar" call came and I think only 6 or 7 people stood up to acknowledge they changed their lives at that moment, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I felt the uncontrollable urge to weep. Weep for joy because these people have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and it's not going to be the easiest life from here on out, but it's going to be a life full of love, support, and joy no matter what they do! It's going to be a life of grace, mercy, and peace with the right heart and attitude. I've been in this family ever since I can remember, and it's not cake walk, but when I sit back and really think about the situations I get myself into I do know, I truly know, that I am loved, accepted, and valuable. I have realized for some time now that although I might not agree with some of the teachings of this group of people or how they do things, I do know for a fact that their hearts are in the right place, and if there's one thing I learned from studying the Bible, that's all that really matters to God. The condition of our heart, the attitude of our heart. And so I pray now that my heart would always be for Him and not against Him. That my heart would truly reflect God's heart and that it would drive and push me to do marvelous things with God's help for His purposes.
God is truly the most wonderful being. He is everything I hope to be and I am so glad that I am on His side and He is on mine. He won't leave you or ignore you. He will always love you and see your truest potential instead of your mistakes and guilt. I am glad he is taking this journey with me, or perhaps I should say that I am taking this journey with Him.
I hope to play music one more time at Maverick's Wood Grill before I leave, and also I'll keep you all posted for a "farewell" party coming sometime in June I reckon where we can swim, barbecue and laugh one last time before I go to India.
Thank you for partnering with me and our Creator in this adventure and this vision God has placed in all of our hearts.
I heard back from the YWAM base in Tyler, Texas and they set up my staff account there so if anyone wishes to send me checks they can now make them out to "YWAM" and send them to the address on the side of the page here. It is very important however that you DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check. Write my name on a post-it note or piece of paper and throw it in the envelope with the check. Your donations will now be tax deductible and you can even opt for automatic monthly withdrawels if you wish! It's pretty snazzy. Just contact me if you would like to do that and I'll get you the info.
I cannot believe time has flown by so quickly. I leave already on June 16th! I will be going first to London to hang out with Lottie, by dear friend from SBS, and then a week later I'll be on a plane to Mumbai. God is providing everything in amazing ways! He is really surprising me with the people and places he's using to get his plan for my life out and about. His plan for India. I am excited to be a part of this change in India. God is doing mighty things there and I feel honored to be an instrument of His over there, and even here now while He is preparing me to go there again. I never thought I'd live long-term in India. Ever. In fact I was all about the "secular" music industry for awhile and convinced I would somehow be influential in the US over musicians. But God had bigger plans, and yes, I do believe this is bigger than being a famous musician.
I have decided to read through the Psalms in the next 39 days, 40 days beginning yesterday. I also have these two books I found in one of my mom's many boxes of books. One is a 40 day journey with Augustine and the other is a 40 day journey with Francis of Assisi. So, I'm set for these next 40 days. I want to take a journey these 40 days. A journey to find more of my identity in Jesus and to be open for God's preparation of my mind, heart, will, body, and every other part of my life that needs to and wants to be touched by Him. I am excited for what this year is already becoming and what doors it will open and has opened. I have already met a lot of new people excited about God's kingdom in India and here in Minnesota too. I'm glad it's all one big kingdom and not divided into different sections or cities or buildings. How awesome will it be when His kingdom is 100% here on earth? I cannot even picture what that will be like.
This last weekend, Easter weekend, I was a part of a group of people who sought to change lives with Jesus Christ in a small city a little north of where I am. I'll admit, this place has not been agreeable with me for some time, I love the people involved with it, I have just been incredibly critical and a little tiny bit bitter when it comes to this place. I have been praying about my attitude and I don't think it has completely changed, but this last weekend I was sitting in a church service in their smaller campus and when that "altar" call came and I think only 6 or 7 people stood up to acknowledge they changed their lives at that moment, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I felt the uncontrollable urge to weep. Weep for joy because these people have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and it's not going to be the easiest life from here on out, but it's going to be a life full of love, support, and joy no matter what they do! It's going to be a life of grace, mercy, and peace with the right heart and attitude. I've been in this family ever since I can remember, and it's not cake walk, but when I sit back and really think about the situations I get myself into I do know, I truly know, that I am loved, accepted, and valuable. I have realized for some time now that although I might not agree with some of the teachings of this group of people or how they do things, I do know for a fact that their hearts are in the right place, and if there's one thing I learned from studying the Bible, that's all that really matters to God. The condition of our heart, the attitude of our heart. And so I pray now that my heart would always be for Him and not against Him. That my heart would truly reflect God's heart and that it would drive and push me to do marvelous things with God's help for His purposes.
God is truly the most wonderful being. He is everything I hope to be and I am so glad that I am on His side and He is on mine. He won't leave you or ignore you. He will always love you and see your truest potential instead of your mistakes and guilt. I am glad he is taking this journey with me, or perhaps I should say that I am taking this journey with Him.
I hope to play music one more time at Maverick's Wood Grill before I leave, and also I'll keep you all posted for a "farewell" party coming sometime in June I reckon where we can swim, barbecue and laugh one last time before I go to India.
Thank you for partnering with me and our Creator in this adventure and this vision God has placed in all of our hearts.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I am always, always, always yours
God is so gracious. God is so good. God is so awesome. God is so amazing. God is so marvelous. God is the greatest being of all time. God is so mysterious. God is so wonderful. God is so sacred. God is so holy. God is so perfect. God is so right. God is so beautiful. God is so terrifying. God is so HUGE. God is so astounding. God is so breathtaking. God is so remarkable. God is so spectacular.
And I could go on and on until I used up all the good adjectives in the English language, and then I could go on in other languages, and there wouldn't be enough time left in my life to continue speaking these words until I ran out of adjectives.
This last week has been particularly marvelous. God presented me with a new (yet old) job with Kidstop. A before and after-school program I have worked with in the past (for four years)! Long story short, I was offered two positions rather than the one I was interviewing for and they decided to pay me the same hourly wage I was making when I left Kidstop three years ago. Which funnily enough is almost double my hourly wage at Curry Up! Praise the Lord for this provision!
The second huge answer to prayer last week happened just yesterday/this morning. I met with the missions committee at my old church and shared my plans (God's plans) to go back to India in June and they decided to help by funding half of all my expenses! Praise God again! That is a large weight off of my shoulders and another confirmation in my mind that I am still needed in India for God's glory. I used to think that if I didn't have a heart or calling to do "God's work" here in Minnesota, in my hometown, I was going about this missionary thing all wrong. This thought is loosely based on Acts 1:8 where Jesus tells his disciples to go to Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, and the ends of the earth. We've all heard that to be interpreted as our hometown, county, state, and then the world. But Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM, spoke at a conference I was recently at over New Year's Eve, and he interpreted it differently. Were any of the disciples actually from Jerusalem? Jesus was not even from Jerusalem, and if you remember, when he did go to his hometown eventually they just ran him out of town. Jesus, the cornerstone of our faith, his ministry started far from "home." Actually, maybe only 5% of people who start their own ministry are started in their hometown. So now, the thought of me going all the way to India to do something I could very well do here, does not seem so out of whack.
I am soon setting up an account with YWAM in Tyler, TX where you can send your checks or cash that you wish to donate for my time in India. As a staff member now instead of a student, all your donations are tax-deductible and you can even have them automatically withdraw from your checking account, or pay by credit card! I still have to fill out all these forms and have my base leader sign something, but this should all be put in place by the end of March at the latest!
Of course, with all this blessing in my life there comes some hurdles. My car would not start today at all. It almost started, but then it just stopped and made some strange sound. I haven't heard from my dad yet what exactly is wrong with it, but we all think the starter is kaput. Pray that gets worked out soon because I start my new job on Monday and this weekend I need to drive back and forth to Elk River to help lead worship at The Crossing.
All this goodness happened right after I realized the need to wholly surrender my life and my desires into God's hands. He wants to take care of me, and he will take care of me, only if I let him and want him to.
Please Pray:
- the rest of my financial needs are met (maybe God is nudging you to give!)
- Car troubles.
- I'm trying for a different type of visa, there are some hurdles with this as well. I need to find an organization in India to write a letter saying I'm volunteering with them there.
- no worries or anxiety both of which I am usually the Queen.
And I could go on and on until I used up all the good adjectives in the English language, and then I could go on in other languages, and there wouldn't be enough time left in my life to continue speaking these words until I ran out of adjectives.
This last week has been particularly marvelous. God presented me with a new (yet old) job with Kidstop. A before and after-school program I have worked with in the past (for four years)! Long story short, I was offered two positions rather than the one I was interviewing for and they decided to pay me the same hourly wage I was making when I left Kidstop three years ago. Which funnily enough is almost double my hourly wage at Curry Up! Praise the Lord for this provision!
The second huge answer to prayer last week happened just yesterday/this morning. I met with the missions committee at my old church and shared my plans (God's plans) to go back to India in June and they decided to help by funding half of all my expenses! Praise God again! That is a large weight off of my shoulders and another confirmation in my mind that I am still needed in India for God's glory. I used to think that if I didn't have a heart or calling to do "God's work" here in Minnesota, in my hometown, I was going about this missionary thing all wrong. This thought is loosely based on Acts 1:8 where Jesus tells his disciples to go to Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, and the ends of the earth. We've all heard that to be interpreted as our hometown, county, state, and then the world. But Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM, spoke at a conference I was recently at over New Year's Eve, and he interpreted it differently. Were any of the disciples actually from Jerusalem? Jesus was not even from Jerusalem, and if you remember, when he did go to his hometown eventually they just ran him out of town. Jesus, the cornerstone of our faith, his ministry started far from "home." Actually, maybe only 5% of people who start their own ministry are started in their hometown. So now, the thought of me going all the way to India to do something I could very well do here, does not seem so out of whack.
I am soon setting up an account with YWAM in Tyler, TX where you can send your checks or cash that you wish to donate for my time in India. As a staff member now instead of a student, all your donations are tax-deductible and you can even have them automatically withdraw from your checking account, or pay by credit card! I still have to fill out all these forms and have my base leader sign something, but this should all be put in place by the end of March at the latest!
Of course, with all this blessing in my life there comes some hurdles. My car would not start today at all. It almost started, but then it just stopped and made some strange sound. I haven't heard from my dad yet what exactly is wrong with it, but we all think the starter is kaput. Pray that gets worked out soon because I start my new job on Monday and this weekend I need to drive back and forth to Elk River to help lead worship at The Crossing.
All this goodness happened right after I realized the need to wholly surrender my life and my desires into God's hands. He wants to take care of me, and he will take care of me, only if I let him and want him to.
Please Pray:
- the rest of my financial needs are met (maybe God is nudging you to give!)
- Car troubles.
- I'm trying for a different type of visa, there are some hurdles with this as well. I need to find an organization in India to write a letter saying I'm volunteering with them there.
- no worries or anxiety both of which I am usually the Queen.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
His Truth is Marching On
Last year, 2009, I titled it the "Year of Hope" and looking back on it I was spot on. I received hope that I can dig deeper into God's character every single day and still learn more and more. The hope that I alone found in his words and movements were grand, and if you throw in the hope I was constantly surrounded by in my classmates and wonderful friends while in India you might say it was raining hope all day every day. When I got home I had the hope of going back to India, the hope that my pursuit of God would continue even after arriving home and being removed from that structure and intensity SBS provided. I soon realized I need that structure and intensity to get anything done. As much as I always told myself I hate structure, schedules, and any sort of studying, I actually needed that stuff in order to flourish. I also discovered that maybe I would love leading others to His truth. I want to be apart of spreading the good news across the globe. So now my hope is for that. I hope to show others my love for Christ in all that I do or say (or don't say) and I hope to see every single person I come across through God's eyes of love, even when I look in the mirror. I also hope that this year's new theme proves true in the end when I again get to look back and reflect on 2010. The hope I realized in 2009 has pushed me to this year, and I decided to call this year the "Year of Love."
When it all comes down to it, our life on this planet is really about love. Loving God, loving ourselves, and loving everyone else. If that alone is done, it is enough. How do I love properly? Is there even a proper way to do it? The only example I choose to live by is Christ, and looking at his life I am far from that sort of love. So, with the hope from last year backing me up, I press on towards the goal of love. I don't mean romantic love. I don't need or want to fall in love with a man right now. Especially in the coming season of teaching in India for two years. I want to love my family, I want to love my co-workers, I want to love the customers that come into work, I want to love the other drivers on the road. I do not want to be known as the family member or friend who is the "world traveler" I want to be known as the family member or friend who loves. I want people to be fascinated by Christ's love through me so that they start asking questions and seeking God because of it. I cannot do this on my own. It is so hard for me to love certain people. So, with Jesus as my example and the Holy Spirit as my guide and God always with me, I'm going to try to catch a glimpse of what love really is.
In other news, a friend of mine and I are trying to put together a benefit concert in May for her non-profit and also for a missionary traveling to India (a.k.a. me) and so keep your Sundays open in mid-to late May, and if you have experience or any ideas on how to put together a benefit event or want to help us plan it, you are more than welcome to share your ideas and thoughts. We are both new to this kind of thing and have no idea what we're doing.
I am still looking for a different job or a few jobs on the side, so keep your eyes and ears open for any money-making opportunities and pass them on to me if you can. Also, please pray that I find a higher income or a new job. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a temp-agency type place to hopefully find me a job! Pray that goes well. The direction my current job is going in with new management makes me want to pull my hair out and either break down and cry or strangle someone, so it's not a very healthy environment for me to be working in. Yikes.
Another prayer request I have of you is for the visa situation I am currently in. The tourist visa recently changed its guidelines and if I go in on a tourist visa I have to leave every 6 months (which was always the case) however now I am not able to re-enter India for at least two months whereas previously I could cross the border of Nepal and come back into India the same day. So, for staffing a nine month school I would have to miss two months of it. I am going to apply for a different type of Visa called an Entry Visa, and I need a letter from my base in India saying I'm volunteering there, and then I need to prove that I will have enough finances to last me the two years. Then I believe I'll be able to stay in India for two years without ever having to leave!! I pray that new visa works out and all the information needed comes together easily and the visa center doesn't get suspicious of Kingdom work if you know what I mean.
When it all comes down to it, our life on this planet is really about love. Loving God, loving ourselves, and loving everyone else. If that alone is done, it is enough. How do I love properly? Is there even a proper way to do it? The only example I choose to live by is Christ, and looking at his life I am far from that sort of love. So, with the hope from last year backing me up, I press on towards the goal of love. I don't mean romantic love. I don't need or want to fall in love with a man right now. Especially in the coming season of teaching in India for two years. I want to love my family, I want to love my co-workers, I want to love the customers that come into work, I want to love the other drivers on the road. I do not want to be known as the family member or friend who is the "world traveler" I want to be known as the family member or friend who loves. I want people to be fascinated by Christ's love through me so that they start asking questions and seeking God because of it. I cannot do this on my own. It is so hard for me to love certain people. So, with Jesus as my example and the Holy Spirit as my guide and God always with me, I'm going to try to catch a glimpse of what love really is.
In other news, a friend of mine and I are trying to put together a benefit concert in May for her non-profit and also for a missionary traveling to India (a.k.a. me) and so keep your Sundays open in mid-to late May, and if you have experience or any ideas on how to put together a benefit event or want to help us plan it, you are more than welcome to share your ideas and thoughts. We are both new to this kind of thing and have no idea what we're doing.
I am still looking for a different job or a few jobs on the side, so keep your eyes and ears open for any money-making opportunities and pass them on to me if you can. Also, please pray that I find a higher income or a new job. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a temp-agency type place to hopefully find me a job! Pray that goes well. The direction my current job is going in with new management makes me want to pull my hair out and either break down and cry or strangle someone, so it's not a very healthy environment for me to be working in. Yikes.
Another prayer request I have of you is for the visa situation I am currently in. The tourist visa recently changed its guidelines and if I go in on a tourist visa I have to leave every 6 months (which was always the case) however now I am not able to re-enter India for at least two months whereas previously I could cross the border of Nepal and come back into India the same day. So, for staffing a nine month school I would have to miss two months of it. I am going to apply for a different type of Visa called an Entry Visa, and I need a letter from my base in India saying I'm volunteering there, and then I need to prove that I will have enough finances to last me the two years. Then I believe I'll be able to stay in India for two years without ever having to leave!! I pray that new visa works out and all the information needed comes together easily and the visa center doesn't get suspicious of Kingdom work if you know what I mean.
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