Something wonderful is happening here. Something I never expected when coming to this country. Something that came as quite a surprise. Something beautiful. Something that fills me with many doubts and also much courage. Something that needs a lot of explaining. Something that requires a lot of prayer. Something I think I might want to pursue...or pursue me.
SBS is quickly coming to a close. Only 2 months remain and I wonder how the time has flown by. Where does time go after it is gone? Did I use my time here wisely? Not all of it. Am I still in the game? Yes, I am still in the game. I am still passing my tests. I am still passing my books. I am terrified to do Isaiah, Jeremaiah, and Ezekiel. Mostly because they're so huge and the homework will be overwhelming. I am so excited for studying the prophets. They write the way I like. Figures of speech, imagery, parallelism. Ahhh. How I love those prophets. We also have Proverbs and Song of Songs thrown in there.
Yesterday I was able to go to a resort nearby just to swim all day and lay in the sun and wear an actual swimsuit...or "swimming costume" in Indian talk. Ha ha! I ate a chicken cheeseburger and it was wonderful. It's funny how the simplest things can bring you so much joy when even they are few and far between. At home, I'd swim every day and not realize how relaxing and wonderful it is, but here, this being my first time swimming in a pool since I arrived in India last September...it was glorious! I'm even sunburned!
I have begun a strict, or not so strict, but more frequent work-out regimen. Mostly being more active here. I try to go running every other morning for 30 minutes and then we've all started playing volleyball every evening for 1-2 hours. It is so much fun! I have been made team captain. Whatever that means. I don't get to choose who is on my team, and I don't have any say in anything. I think it just means I must encourage an cheer on my team all the time. It's been a good way to spend time with students from other schools and have fun with them.
I feel as if God is preparing me for something. What that something is I have no idea, but something good of course. I have a good Father. He wants me to be ready for something big, something good, something inconceivable. If there's anything that has been repeated over and over and over and over again this quarter so far it's "mission possible" all things are possible through Christ. Completing SBS is possible. Facing this new huge decision is possible. Hearing from God is possible. Getting money to pay for my school is possible. Surviving this heat is possible. And believe me, those who know me know I'm not a huge fan of goofy catch phrases we throw around, but I know the heart behind it is good and it is actually a great encouragement for YWAMers, Philipians 4:13, but we must not simply throw that verse around without knowing the context and purpose behind its original meaning. Wow, I'm such an SBS student.
I am very sad to leave this place. I try not to think about it because it just makes me depressed. I always get depressed when I know I'm leaving somewhere I feel I belong and when the date of leaving is quickly approaching the present.
Pray I don't get depressed these next 2 months.
Pray I receive funds to pay for my final half of the quarter. I need $353 dollars. Praise the Lord he provided for me 3 weeks ago when I needed the first half! The exact amount I needed in a matter of one day!
Pray that our class doesn't get burned out and that we are wise with our time and energy these next two months.
Pray I would have discernment in making decisions God wants me to make, and that he would give me the courage to walk out those decisions.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
You sacrifice so much of your life in order for this to work
Masala tea is the best tea in the whole world. I do not know how I ever enjoyed chai before coming to India. Now the chai at home seems dull although it is more flavorful at home than here, I would not even consider the stuff at home "chai."
Life has many surprises and exciting things in store for all of us. I look at the Bible in a different light now. Whenever I begin to do my assignments and go back and forth from the computer screen to the Bible I see the Bible as a book. Like a real book. A novel that someone wrote with these stories in it of history. It is hard to imagine sometimes that these people actually existed and these events actually took place! For example when Jehu becomes king of Israel, he is the first king since the divided kingdom who actually does what God wants him to do and obeys the covenant for the most part. He kills off the entire house of Ahab who was king 3 kings before Jehu and Ahab had married Jezebel the epitome of evil and was the "worst" king Israel had seen thus-far. Anyway, Jehu wrote these letters to the people who were serving the sons of Ahab, 70 sons in all, and told them to bring him the heads of the sons by the next day, and sure enough these servants brought 70 heads to Jehu in baskets the very next day! This stuff actually happened?!?! It is so unreal sometimes. Someone seriously needs to make a movie about the entire old testament. There are so many good stories here.
The mosquitoes are getting unbearable here. At least we have none in our room at night, but to talk on the phone out in the hall late at night is like my worst nightmare. I feel as if the mosquitoes have followed me from Minnesota to Maharashtra. They are the same size, but these ones are so much faster. They're a super-breed of mosquitoes that never die and always bite over and over and over again. It's a wonder I have not contracted some sort of blood-borne pathogen by now.
I will be home in approximately 75 days. That still seems like a long time when I count by days, but if I count by weeks, 11, it seems short, and months, 2.5, seems even shorter. I am excited to come home, but I am not excited to leave this place that has slowly become my home. It has also quickly become my home. How does somewhere slowly and quickly arrive at the same place in my heart? I am not sure, but I do know that as much as I want to go home I want to stay here. If money was no issue I would stay here no doubt about it. I think I might be falling in love with more than just this place. It will be good to come home for a little while though. To get my head on straight about coming back and if I still desire to come here after paying off my credit card of doom, then I will know that this truly is where God wants me. I just pray that certain things are true, real, and holy. Completely from the Lord and not from my own heart and desires, unless those match up with God's heart and desire for my life.
This second week of the final quarter is just about over, and it seems to be going by just as fast, if not faster than the previous two quarters. We start Nehemiah today and I plan on finishing it tonight. I am going to Pune tomorrow for much needed girl time with Karen my favorite Goan from the first quarter's DTS. Also, for a much needed break before the prophets begin next week. Dun dun dun... I am so excited for the prophets and it seems as though I thought I was done with Kings and Chronicles forever, but no, my adventure through the Kings has just begun now that we're about to get into the prophets. Who knew the prophets all fell into the timeline of Kings and Chronicles. I also never knew Chronicles pretty much repeats Kings from a different perspective and they only focus on the Kings of Judah, not the Kings of Israel.
Life has many surprises and exciting things in store for all of us. I look at the Bible in a different light now. Whenever I begin to do my assignments and go back and forth from the computer screen to the Bible I see the Bible as a book. Like a real book. A novel that someone wrote with these stories in it of history. It is hard to imagine sometimes that these people actually existed and these events actually took place! For example when Jehu becomes king of Israel, he is the first king since the divided kingdom who actually does what God wants him to do and obeys the covenant for the most part. He kills off the entire house of Ahab who was king 3 kings before Jehu and Ahab had married Jezebel the epitome of evil and was the "worst" king Israel had seen thus-far. Anyway, Jehu wrote these letters to the people who were serving the sons of Ahab, 70 sons in all, and told them to bring him the heads of the sons by the next day, and sure enough these servants brought 70 heads to Jehu in baskets the very next day! This stuff actually happened?!?! It is so unreal sometimes. Someone seriously needs to make a movie about the entire old testament. There are so many good stories here.
The mosquitoes are getting unbearable here. At least we have none in our room at night, but to talk on the phone out in the hall late at night is like my worst nightmare. I feel as if the mosquitoes have followed me from Minnesota to Maharashtra. They are the same size, but these ones are so much faster. They're a super-breed of mosquitoes that never die and always bite over and over and over again. It's a wonder I have not contracted some sort of blood-borne pathogen by now.
I will be home in approximately 75 days. That still seems like a long time when I count by days, but if I count by weeks, 11, it seems short, and months, 2.5, seems even shorter. I am excited to come home, but I am not excited to leave this place that has slowly become my home. It has also quickly become my home. How does somewhere slowly and quickly arrive at the same place in my heart? I am not sure, but I do know that as much as I want to go home I want to stay here. If money was no issue I would stay here no doubt about it. I think I might be falling in love with more than just this place. It will be good to come home for a little while though. To get my head on straight about coming back and if I still desire to come here after paying off my credit card of doom, then I will know that this truly is where God wants me. I just pray that certain things are true, real, and holy. Completely from the Lord and not from my own heart and desires, unless those match up with God's heart and desire for my life.
This second week of the final quarter is just about over, and it seems to be going by just as fast, if not faster than the previous two quarters. We start Nehemiah today and I plan on finishing it tonight. I am going to Pune tomorrow for much needed girl time with Karen my favorite Goan from the first quarter's DTS. Also, for a much needed break before the prophets begin next week. Dun dun dun... I am so excited for the prophets and it seems as though I thought I was done with Kings and Chronicles forever, but no, my adventure through the Kings has just begun now that we're about to get into the prophets. Who knew the prophets all fell into the timeline of Kings and Chronicles. I also never knew Chronicles pretty much repeats Kings from a different perspective and they only focus on the Kings of Judah, not the Kings of Israel.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. - Hebrews 4:16
This week so far in Goa has been the most relaxing and refreshing week of my life. I have never in my 23 years of living set aside an entire week to rest in the Lord. It is the fourth commandment! Resting is mentioned over and over again in the Bible and as Christians I know we feel like now that we live under the "new covenant" we no longer need to rest. That is a part of Moses' law, not our law. How far from the truth can we get?! The author of Hebrews stresses the fact that we still have not entered that rest promised to Israel thousands of years ago. If the rest God promised had truly been conquering the promised land then God would have stopped speaking of rest after Joshua (Hebrews 4:8). We must strive to enter this rest. I regret to say too often I go weeks and weeks without simply taking one day to rest and not do anything that needs to get done. It is especially hard during this school to find time to rest with my Maker. I am thankful that he is always there and when I have time to rest he is more than happy to welcome me into his rest. This week has been accompanied by much needed rest and relaxation. I have been able to sit in silence. I have been able to take a nap whenever I feel the need. I have been blessed beyond measure here in Goa, and I have been here a mere 5 days. I am sad to see this week quickly melt by, but I am leaving with a new attitude. A more pure heart. A strengthened mind. A willingness to study God's word again without complaining (hopefully). I feel prepared for this final quarter. I feel confident in my decision to come home after SBS at least for a season, and I feel confident so far in my decision to come back to India after some things are taken care of back home.
I have stumbled across this beautiful cat here who I have kept in a bag for a little while, and now I am beginning to let people peer inside this bag. I have not let the cat out completely yet, but I think there will be a time and a place for that. Who knows, maybe the cat does not really exist and I am just imagining things and maybe I am letting feelings tell me false realities. However, life is full of surprises and I sure do enjoy surprises.
When I return to home base this weekend schoolwork will begin almost immediately. We will be studying 1 and 2 Kings the first week back, and I am excited because we do not have to do the usual assignment of charting. We will be writing summaries of all the kings in Kings amongst other things... I have thoroughly enjoyed the old testament so far. Especially Moses and David. Reading 1 and 2 Samuel was wonderful and I saw many things I never noticed before in the text and in David and Saul's lives. They were so different, and David had to do a lot of terrified waiting as God's Anointed before he finally received the crown. Even after Saul died David had to wait a long time and run from his own son who usurped the throne from him. Yet David was always forgiving and never held any grudges. What a king David was, and yet he was merely a shadow and a sketch of Christ who is the perfect, ultimate King.
It is funny that I have been praying and praying for finances and God keeps giving me riches that are not of this world. It's not yet time for me to have earthly riches, but as long as I am rich with his blessings I should not have to worry about finances. He certainly is providing other needs. I remember beginning this year with titling it as my "Year of Hope." and I think I have lost sight of that hope I started off this year with. It is nice to take time to remember this and here is a wonderful quote from Henri Nouwen I stumbled across today about hope:
Hope is based on the premise that the other gives only what is good. Hope includes an openness by which you wait for the other to make his loving promise come true, even though you never know when, where or how this might happen.
Pray for finances. I need $353 dollars in one week. I have maybe $70 in my checking account.
Pray for things heard here in Goa to continue ringing in my ears throughout the next 3 months so that I do not lose heart. I tend to lose heart near the end of commitments.
Pray for Diane who runs this retreat center. She is amazing and from Minnesota and consequentially grew up with my mother's family! She has been a HUGE blessing, so pray that she would be blessed and remain healthy.
Pray for Lottie and I to have safe travels back to Pune on Friday night/Saturday morning. We are taking the train and I am a little worried. 12 hours sleeping overnight on a train in India? That does not spell "peace" to me. But God is on my side, what can man do to me?
This week so far in Goa has been the most relaxing and refreshing week of my life. I have never in my 23 years of living set aside an entire week to rest in the Lord. It is the fourth commandment! Resting is mentioned over and over again in the Bible and as Christians I know we feel like now that we live under the "new covenant" we no longer need to rest. That is a part of Moses' law, not our law. How far from the truth can we get?! The author of Hebrews stresses the fact that we still have not entered that rest promised to Israel thousands of years ago. If the rest God promised had truly been conquering the promised land then God would have stopped speaking of rest after Joshua (Hebrews 4:8). We must strive to enter this rest. I regret to say too often I go weeks and weeks without simply taking one day to rest and not do anything that needs to get done. It is especially hard during this school to find time to rest with my Maker. I am thankful that he is always there and when I have time to rest he is more than happy to welcome me into his rest. This week has been accompanied by much needed rest and relaxation. I have been able to sit in silence. I have been able to take a nap whenever I feel the need. I have been blessed beyond measure here in Goa, and I have been here a mere 5 days. I am sad to see this week quickly melt by, but I am leaving with a new attitude. A more pure heart. A strengthened mind. A willingness to study God's word again without complaining (hopefully). I feel prepared for this final quarter. I feel confident in my decision to come home after SBS at least for a season, and I feel confident so far in my decision to come back to India after some things are taken care of back home.
I have stumbled across this beautiful cat here who I have kept in a bag for a little while, and now I am beginning to let people peer inside this bag. I have not let the cat out completely yet, but I think there will be a time and a place for that. Who knows, maybe the cat does not really exist and I am just imagining things and maybe I am letting feelings tell me false realities. However, life is full of surprises and I sure do enjoy surprises.
When I return to home base this weekend schoolwork will begin almost immediately. We will be studying 1 and 2 Kings the first week back, and I am excited because we do not have to do the usual assignment of charting. We will be writing summaries of all the kings in Kings amongst other things... I have thoroughly enjoyed the old testament so far. Especially Moses and David. Reading 1 and 2 Samuel was wonderful and I saw many things I never noticed before in the text and in David and Saul's lives. They were so different, and David had to do a lot of terrified waiting as God's Anointed before he finally received the crown. Even after Saul died David had to wait a long time and run from his own son who usurped the throne from him. Yet David was always forgiving and never held any grudges. What a king David was, and yet he was merely a shadow and a sketch of Christ who is the perfect, ultimate King.
It is funny that I have been praying and praying for finances and God keeps giving me riches that are not of this world. It's not yet time for me to have earthly riches, but as long as I am rich with his blessings I should not have to worry about finances. He certainly is providing other needs. I remember beginning this year with titling it as my "Year of Hope." and I think I have lost sight of that hope I started off this year with. It is nice to take time to remember this and here is a wonderful quote from Henri Nouwen I stumbled across today about hope:
Hope is based on the premise that the other gives only what is good. Hope includes an openness by which you wait for the other to make his loving promise come true, even though you never know when, where or how this might happen.
Pray for finances. I need $353 dollars in one week. I have maybe $70 in my checking account.
Pray for things heard here in Goa to continue ringing in my ears throughout the next 3 months so that I do not lose heart. I tend to lose heart near the end of commitments.
Pray for Diane who runs this retreat center. She is amazing and from Minnesota and consequentially grew up with my mother's family! She has been a HUGE blessing, so pray that she would be blessed and remain healthy.
Pray for Lottie and I to have safe travels back to Pune on Friday night/Saturday morning. We are taking the train and I am a little worried. 12 hours sleeping overnight on a train in India? That does not spell "peace" to me. But God is on my side, what can man do to me?
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