I Know We're Lost But Soon We'll Be Found: April 2013

In December I started feeling a tightness in my chest and it seemed as though I was having palpitations. It happened just twice a month and the night before I flew to Mumbai in January I could not sleep the whole night because of these feelings. After arriving in India these instances of discomfort in my chest, particularly on the left side, have become more frequent. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac with what I thought was a light anxiety problem. I immediately assumed the worst: my arteries are getting blocked, I'm about to have a heart attack, or my heart is just going to stop suddenly. Then, I did a google search, some would say I'm the google Queen, and found that perhaps I have sleep apnea since it mostly happens at night and I feel as if I'm about to stop breathing or my heart is going to stop beating as I fall asleep which is why I cannot sleep well most nights. Somehow, I end up falling asleep these nights and wake up to find I am, in fact, still alive.

But, then I found an anxiety discussion group on a website I frequent and found out that the same symptoms are frequent with people who have anxiety disorders. So then I didn't know what to think. Was it some sort of heart disease? Was it sleep apnea? Is it just anxiety?

On Saturday Romel and I went to a well known hospital in Pune called Ruby Hall Clinic to find out once and for all what the heck is going on. I met with a Cardiologist and he told me to go get a million tests done and come back and see him. So I gave a blood and urine sample, had a chest x-ray, had an ECG/EKG, had an echocardiogram or whatever (ultrasound of my heart), and did a Pulmonary Function Test (breathing test). After all these things and lots of money later, we received all the test results and met with the doctor once again and after a few minutes looking through all the results he said the best three words I have heard in a long time,

"everything is normal."

Then he asked me if I'm stressed out and I told him of my suspicions of having an anxiety disorder and he said that was most likely the cause of it all. He gave me a prescription for some beta-blockers and sent me on my way. I haven't taken any of those pills yet because, not surprisingly, I am worried if I take them they will cause my heart to stop! Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh man, anxiety, get outta here!

Thankfully, both nights of sleep since receiving the test results have been wonderful. I fell asleep quickly and slept the whole night soundly. It really has been medicine in and of itself just knowing my heart is A-Okay and perfectly normal.

I can't complain about the cost of these tests because compared to America it was quite cheap. The grand total was about $75 after the seven hours and seven tests in the hospital, but when we had $120 to last us until the 7th of May we're pretty much broke for now.

Please consider and pray about partnering with us financially for the next six months. Just six months is all we need and ask because after that we will be back in the U.S. (both of us, yay!!) and will be taking a much needed year sabbatical from missionary life. We only get $400 per month right now and we really need about $600. We do receive enough from our wonderful friends and family to be able to eat three meals a day and live in our home, but we are not able to get clothes or go out to eat and we are not able to get other "luxury" foods like olive oil, brown rice, zucchini or other things I really wish we had but cannot afford to travel to Pune or pay for these imported goods. Guys, I can't even make chocolate chip cookies because we can't afford to pay $3 for brown sugar!

Thankfully, now, I no longer have to have anxiety about my heart, but of course as soon as one stress-factor is taken away another moves in: money. Money is always a struggle. No matter if you are a missionary in a first world country or a third world country. Sure things are cheaper here than in the U.S. but compared to how much our "income" is it probably evens out to about the same.

So now, I humbly ask you to pray about supporting Romel and myself for the next six months. Your support is tax-deductible! Just ask me how to give and I will send you the information. Otherwise you can of course give through paypal, however that will not be tax-deductible.

Romel and I are so grateful for all of you who support us prayerfully and those who are standing with us through encouraging e-mails and Skype conversations. We are thankful to those who do support us financially, but we also recognize that it is not possible for some and we are still thankful to you who think of us often and stand with us in prayer. We could not be living in obedience without you!