Sunday, March 29, 2009
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...
Here are some pictures from India. The first few are in Goa which is the south bordering state of Maharashtra (the state I'm going to school in). Goa is known for its beaches and tourist attractions. I am here with Lottie for our one week of holiday resting and relaxing at a wonderful retreat center coincidentally run by a Minnesotan who grew up with my Mother's family! The few pictures after that are during HOLI week. AKA the festival of colors where people wearing white or light colors are the targets for colorful dye to be thrown at. After the colorful pictures you will see a picture of a traditional Indian worship service, Christian that is, but singing Bhajans which are Hindi songs of worship. Not HINDU, but HINDI. The common language of India. We are worshiping God of course.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Bum Bum Bole!!
I love David. Okay, I know I also loved Paul, then once Paul died I fell for John, and then John died, and then I loved Moses, well, now Moses is dead too and we have David. King David. This week we are studying 1 and 2 Samuel. There is so much homework and I have no desire to do any of it. Not because I don't like the book, just because the homework is so time consuming and I feel as if my brain cannot handle doing this many observations, interpretations, and applications. I was telling a friend the other day that I hate studying and reading and homework and so I don't know why I'm here, and they said I'm here cause God brought me here. Simply put, and so true! I know that I'm here for a reason and a season and maybe even longer! Who knows though. God only knows. So far he has made it very clear that whatever choice I make after SBS is what he wants.
I could feel God's heart breaking when His people ask Samuel for a king, like other nations. We see in Leviticus God's people are called to be set apart. Different, separated from all other peoples. They shall be holy for the Lord God is holy! Yet, they demand a human king. A far from perfect, human king. God wasn't good enough for them even though he rescued them from impossible situations and defeated the strongest, biggest nations with just a few Israelites. A man cannot do that!
In two weeks I am going to Goa for one whole week of resting with God. I am very happy about this. Lottie and I have been praying that God would be the center of our week off and even though we're taking a break from SBS we don't want to take a break from God. Here he is providing us with an amazing opportunity to be in his presence for an entire week. I'm excited for what is going to happen and what I'm going to hear.
The weather here is getting more and more unbearable. Who's going to want to sit for hours doing homework in this heat? It's already in the 90s every single day. A.K.A the 30s here. Celsius. Who needs it? I sweat doing anything. I sweat doing nothing. I sweat all the time. It never stops. But I am so happy to be in India! I swear I'm falling in love with India more each day I'm here. The only thing I do NOT want to experience is monsoon season. 2 months of straight up pouring rain. No thank you.
So the summary statement of the week is God is so good and seems to be blessing me for reasons unknown to me. Not that he needs a reason to bless me, and not that he blesses me because of anything I've done. I know that's not the case. I am certainly thankful for this week, and pray I can focus on God the rest of the week and not the blessings.
Pray for finances to roll in. Third quarter starts in 3 weeks and I have no money to pay for it.
Pray for focus and concentration and rest this next 1.5 weeks so that I don't become apathetic for the final 2 books of the quarter.
Pray for direction after SBS. What to do? What to do? (That's a very common Indian expression. What to do.)
Pray for one student who is leaving after this 2nd quarter, my dear roommate Elisabeth will be returning to Norway. So sad. Pray God gives her direction and peace to be home and not finish SBS. Pray for a new student arriving for third quarter that he adjusts easy back into the SBS mindset. It was hard enough for me to come back from my 2 week Christmas break, I can't imagine taking an extended break from SBS!
Love, love, love you all!
I could feel God's heart breaking when His people ask Samuel for a king, like other nations. We see in Leviticus God's people are called to be set apart. Different, separated from all other peoples. They shall be holy for the Lord God is holy! Yet, they demand a human king. A far from perfect, human king. God wasn't good enough for them even though he rescued them from impossible situations and defeated the strongest, biggest nations with just a few Israelites. A man cannot do that!
In two weeks I am going to Goa for one whole week of resting with God. I am very happy about this. Lottie and I have been praying that God would be the center of our week off and even though we're taking a break from SBS we don't want to take a break from God. Here he is providing us with an amazing opportunity to be in his presence for an entire week. I'm excited for what is going to happen and what I'm going to hear.
The weather here is getting more and more unbearable. Who's going to want to sit for hours doing homework in this heat? It's already in the 90s every single day. A.K.A the 30s here. Celsius. Who needs it? I sweat doing anything. I sweat doing nothing. I sweat all the time. It never stops. But I am so happy to be in India! I swear I'm falling in love with India more each day I'm here. The only thing I do NOT want to experience is monsoon season. 2 months of straight up pouring rain. No thank you.
So the summary statement of the week is God is so good and seems to be blessing me for reasons unknown to me. Not that he needs a reason to bless me, and not that he blesses me because of anything I've done. I know that's not the case. I am certainly thankful for this week, and pray I can focus on God the rest of the week and not the blessings.
Pray for finances to roll in. Third quarter starts in 3 weeks and I have no money to pay for it.
Pray for focus and concentration and rest this next 1.5 weeks so that I don't become apathetic for the final 2 books of the quarter.
Pray for direction after SBS. What to do? What to do? (That's a very common Indian expression. What to do.)
Pray for one student who is leaving after this 2nd quarter, my dear roommate Elisabeth will be returning to Norway. So sad. Pray God gives her direction and peace to be home and not finish SBS. Pray for a new student arriving for third quarter that he adjusts easy back into the SBS mindset. It was hard enough for me to come back from my 2 week Christmas break, I can't imagine taking an extended break from SBS!
Love, love, love you all!
Monday, March 2, 2009
I'm happy, I'm happy, your birthday brings a pardoning
Happy 21st Birthday to my Soul-mate yesterday! I love you Kimberly-Joy!
Moses is dead. He was buried in an unknown location. I loved the relationship Moses had with God. They talked to each other face to face, like a familiar friend. I will always be fascinated by this. No one has seen God and lived according to John and so how did Moses have a face to face relationship with God? It might have been Jesus. That's what I think anyway. Besides, if God is omnipresent...which he is, how could we ever physically see him aside from Christ? Either way, I have always longed for a relationship with God like Moses had.
I have never really been too fond of the first five books of the Old Testament except for Genesis of course, but each week when we started a new book it quickly became my favorite in place of the last book. Genesis was awesome, but moreover Exodus was even better, then Leviticus, although it is full of laws and how-to's for sacrifices and offerings I still found myself loving it more than Exodus, next Numbers. My favorite of Moses' books. It really shows Israel's cycle of committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, etc. I love seeing God's heart for his people. His heart to be close to his people, to dwell among them. From the garden to the tabernacle to the temple to our own bodies and much later on to finally being with us like I am with my Indian classmates, but only if I was with them all day every day...forever.
I am getting more and more encouraged to at least wait on the Lord. I still find it difficult to think that I need to wait on him when he's always around and he's always speaking to me. Maybe I don't really need to wait on him, but I need to wait on my ears to be cleaned out or something. I just haven't heard him clearly in my own heart for awhile. I know you're thinking, "but she's got her nose in the Word every day!!" and yes, that is so true, but sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing it to hear from God, or just doing it to finish my assignment. Where has the passion gone to? Why am I not excited about each new book anymore? All things I must earnestly seek answers for. I used to wonder if God was purposefully not speaking to me, but a wise man told me recently that God is always talking to us. Of course he answers us and talks to us! If you asked one of your parents a question as a child would they ignore you? Would they just turn away and walk out of the room? or the house?? Of course not! How much more does our heavenly Father talk to us? It's not that he's not speaking, it's just that maybe I'm not a good listener, and moreover I am not a good doer. I sometimes hear God speaking to me, but I rarely ever do what he tells me. I'm getting better, and this is an area he has really been pushing me in since DTS is not just hearing his voice, but actually doing what he says. Which shouldn't be that hard, really.
I have a longing to be more raw with my fellow SBS students, and five months into the school I only know a handful's hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles. As I see more of God I see more of his heart for his people. That we would live together as one. That we would be one as Jesus and the Father are one. I have always had a passion for community and unity within the Church, and by "the Church" I mean not a building or a gathering every Sunday morning, but I mean the body of Christ. Every Christian in my community of the season. Right now this SBS is the "church" I belong to, and I don't know my fellow friends gifts! I don't know all their talents! I don't know their part in this body of Christ. How are we to function as one unit when all we know of one another is how far along we are with our assignments at any given moment.
Sometimes I look around me and wonder how the heck I got where I am. What in the world brought me to this small town in India? However, India is now such a huge part of my life I don't know what I'd be without it here. I think that there was some small part of my heart that could only be filled with India. Looking back in the past few years of my life I can see God showing me very clearly India was to be a part of my life, but I never put any of them together until I got here, and even then I didn't see it until about 5 months into this SBS. If you had told me I'd be sitting in a tiny coffee shop in the middle of Maharashtra, India listening to Bollywood classics on the radio I would have laughed in your face, and later behind your back!
I still have not figured out what my next step is after SBS, but really, I will let ya'll know as soon as I figure it out. I think it's another moment in my life where no matter what I decide God will use me, bless me, and lead me. We had a prophetic man come and speak to us all last week and I was hoping and praying God would tell me my next step through him and he said nothing I even expected. That I would solve problems within failing ministries and be like a consultant to people around me and that God would give me visions of how to explain solutions to people because I am so different than others that I do not even explain things in an understandable way most of the time, but I would get visions of exactly how to explain solutions to them. I was also told that God would use me to do this "wherever I choose to go" whether it be YWAM, home, or anywhere else in the world. Which you know, that is an answer. Granted it's not the answer I was hoping for, it is still an answer to my next step. I also feel God telling me right now I do not need to make a decision. Why worry? Worrying does not add even a second to my life, or produce any of the results I want. (if you want a full story of what God spoke to me through this prophetic man leave me a comment and I'll e-mail you all the details!)
Well, I have not much left to say except that I have a camera on its way to me and will hopefully get it soon and post pictures on here as soon as I take some! I am sorry for the lack of photos. I believe in a matter of 9 days or less there is the festival of colors here in all of India where people I guess wear all white clothes and wherever you go people throw dye at you! I'll have to research it more or ask around more about it. I pray the camera arrives before then! I am excited for this.
These ALWAYS end up being so long, and I feel like I also write about them always turning out so long in every entry. Ah well. Perhaps I should update this more often so i'll have less to talk about...or write about.
Moses is dead. He was buried in an unknown location. I loved the relationship Moses had with God. They talked to each other face to face, like a familiar friend. I will always be fascinated by this. No one has seen God and lived according to John and so how did Moses have a face to face relationship with God? It might have been Jesus. That's what I think anyway. Besides, if God is omnipresent...which he is, how could we ever physically see him aside from Christ? Either way, I have always longed for a relationship with God like Moses had.
I have never really been too fond of the first five books of the Old Testament except for Genesis of course, but each week when we started a new book it quickly became my favorite in place of the last book. Genesis was awesome, but moreover Exodus was even better, then Leviticus, although it is full of laws and how-to's for sacrifices and offerings I still found myself loving it more than Exodus, next Numbers. My favorite of Moses' books. It really shows Israel's cycle of committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, etc. I love seeing God's heart for his people. His heart to be close to his people, to dwell among them. From the garden to the tabernacle to the temple to our own bodies and much later on to finally being with us like I am with my Indian classmates, but only if I was with them all day every day...forever.
I am getting more and more encouraged to at least wait on the Lord. I still find it difficult to think that I need to wait on him when he's always around and he's always speaking to me. Maybe I don't really need to wait on him, but I need to wait on my ears to be cleaned out or something. I just haven't heard him clearly in my own heart for awhile. I know you're thinking, "but she's got her nose in the Word every day!!" and yes, that is so true, but sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing it to hear from God, or just doing it to finish my assignment. Where has the passion gone to? Why am I not excited about each new book anymore? All things I must earnestly seek answers for. I used to wonder if God was purposefully not speaking to me, but a wise man told me recently that God is always talking to us. Of course he answers us and talks to us! If you asked one of your parents a question as a child would they ignore you? Would they just turn away and walk out of the room? or the house?? Of course not! How much more does our heavenly Father talk to us? It's not that he's not speaking, it's just that maybe I'm not a good listener, and moreover I am not a good doer. I sometimes hear God speaking to me, but I rarely ever do what he tells me. I'm getting better, and this is an area he has really been pushing me in since DTS is not just hearing his voice, but actually doing what he says. Which shouldn't be that hard, really.
I have a longing to be more raw with my fellow SBS students, and five months into the school I only know a handful's hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles. As I see more of God I see more of his heart for his people. That we would live together as one. That we would be one as Jesus and the Father are one. I have always had a passion for community and unity within the Church, and by "the Church" I mean not a building or a gathering every Sunday morning, but I mean the body of Christ. Every Christian in my community of the season. Right now this SBS is the "church" I belong to, and I don't know my fellow friends gifts! I don't know all their talents! I don't know their part in this body of Christ. How are we to function as one unit when all we know of one another is how far along we are with our assignments at any given moment.
Sometimes I look around me and wonder how the heck I got where I am. What in the world brought me to this small town in India? However, India is now such a huge part of my life I don't know what I'd be without it here. I think that there was some small part of my heart that could only be filled with India. Looking back in the past few years of my life I can see God showing me very clearly India was to be a part of my life, but I never put any of them together until I got here, and even then I didn't see it until about 5 months into this SBS. If you had told me I'd be sitting in a tiny coffee shop in the middle of Maharashtra, India listening to Bollywood classics on the radio I would have laughed in your face, and later behind your back!
I still have not figured out what my next step is after SBS, but really, I will let ya'll know as soon as I figure it out. I think it's another moment in my life where no matter what I decide God will use me, bless me, and lead me. We had a prophetic man come and speak to us all last week and I was hoping and praying God would tell me my next step through him and he said nothing I even expected. That I would solve problems within failing ministries and be like a consultant to people around me and that God would give me visions of how to explain solutions to people because I am so different than others that I do not even explain things in an understandable way most of the time, but I would get visions of exactly how to explain solutions to them. I was also told that God would use me to do this "wherever I choose to go" whether it be YWAM, home, or anywhere else in the world. Which you know, that is an answer. Granted it's not the answer I was hoping for, it is still an answer to my next step. I also feel God telling me right now I do not need to make a decision. Why worry? Worrying does not add even a second to my life, or produce any of the results I want. (if you want a full story of what God spoke to me through this prophetic man leave me a comment and I'll e-mail you all the details!)
Well, I have not much left to say except that I have a camera on its way to me and will hopefully get it soon and post pictures on here as soon as I take some! I am sorry for the lack of photos. I believe in a matter of 9 days or less there is the festival of colors here in all of India where people I guess wear all white clothes and wherever you go people throw dye at you! I'll have to research it more or ask around more about it. I pray the camera arrives before then! I am excited for this.
These ALWAYS end up being so long, and I feel like I also write about them always turning out so long in every entry. Ah well. Perhaps I should update this more often so i'll have less to talk about...or write about.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
You won't relent until you have it all
Numbers, Numbers, Numbers. The first reading of the book of Numbers was actually really fun because Lottie and I recorded it all! Even dramatized! Well, at least different voices for the different people. There are some obnoxious chapters in Numbers however, Chapter 7 for an example, Chapter 26, and basically the first 9 chapters equal boring, but there also are many good stories in this book. It is really cool to see Moses goes to the Lord every single situation that comes up. After every complaint against him by the Israelites, or complaint against God. Even issues of jealousy of leadership come up, and I don't know why those people wanted to be priests as well, I wouldn't like to sacrifice myriads of animals each day. I love that in the midst of all this rebellion and complaining God still wants his people to reach the promised land, it's just a shame it had to take 38 years instead of mere months because they rebelled. It's also too bad none of the people from the first census were able to go into the promised land except Joshua and Caleb. I hope that I can be like Caleb, with a different spirit.
Numbers made me really ask myself why I ever desire anything or anyone other than our God. He is so good and he is so perfect. He provides all my needs and is always with me. No one else can say any of that is true about them for my life.
This week is looking to be wonderful. We have no class on Monday and therefore Sunday can finally truly be a sabbath day of rest because we can do all our homework for the first class on Monday! So far, this Sunday has been wonderful. I went to church for the 2nd time in India, then walked home in the horrible heat only to find every store closed. For the past 1.5 days all the shops in all of this town have been closed because the people are on strike. The government has been demolishing stores that are built too close to the road. They passed some law about that sometime ago and everything built since then that is too close to the road you often find there one day and the next it's rubble on the ground. Not even a hint of what was once there is left usually. So, it has been tough on us the past day and a half. You seem to crave more outside food when you cannot possibly get it.
Back to the heat. It was so hot today I could not wait to get into my room and take an ice cold shower! Yes we had electricity to heat up water, and we had water! I just needed a cold shower, and it felt wonderful. It'll be nice come summer to look forward to cold showers, but it's already almost unbearably hot for me and my Indian friends tell me the worst is in April and May.
This week there is a team of people, perhaps only 2 people, from Australia that prophesy and pray over people. They travel around to different churches and YWAM bases and just simply pray for the schools and prophesy over the students and leadership. I signed myself up for some time tomorrow with them, and they will be spending an hour with our SBS class on Thursday.
I cannot believe it is already the final week of February and only one month left of this quarter after that. This SBS is going by so fast! At the end of this quarter I am going to Goa with Lottie my English lady-love. I am so excited to go to a beach and just lay on it and be able to wear a swim-suit again hopefully. I'm excited for relaxing with Lottie and relaxing with God. I pray he is at the center of our holiday and we can pray for each other and build each other up while we are there. That it wouldn't be a holiday from God, but with God.
Pray for rest. I am so tired all the time. Even today on my day of rest where I've had more sleep than usual.
Pray for finances. I am getting worried and I shouldn't be.
Pray for patience and grace. This culture is frustrating and so are people here. It's getting to that point where I've been here for awhile now and things that once were endearing are quite the opposite.
Pray for the DTS outreach teams that will soon return! Safe travels and a great debriefing week.
I love you all and think of you often. May our God of peace and strength be with you this week.
Love, love, love.
Numbers made me really ask myself why I ever desire anything or anyone other than our God. He is so good and he is so perfect. He provides all my needs and is always with me. No one else can say any of that is true about them for my life.
This week is looking to be wonderful. We have no class on Monday and therefore Sunday can finally truly be a sabbath day of rest because we can do all our homework for the first class on Monday! So far, this Sunday has been wonderful. I went to church for the 2nd time in India, then walked home in the horrible heat only to find every store closed. For the past 1.5 days all the shops in all of this town have been closed because the people are on strike. The government has been demolishing stores that are built too close to the road. They passed some law about that sometime ago and everything built since then that is too close to the road you often find there one day and the next it's rubble on the ground. Not even a hint of what was once there is left usually. So, it has been tough on us the past day and a half. You seem to crave more outside food when you cannot possibly get it.
Back to the heat. It was so hot today I could not wait to get into my room and take an ice cold shower! Yes we had electricity to heat up water, and we had water! I just needed a cold shower, and it felt wonderful. It'll be nice come summer to look forward to cold showers, but it's already almost unbearably hot for me and my Indian friends tell me the worst is in April and May.
This week there is a team of people, perhaps only 2 people, from Australia that prophesy and pray over people. They travel around to different churches and YWAM bases and just simply pray for the schools and prophesy over the students and leadership. I signed myself up for some time tomorrow with them, and they will be spending an hour with our SBS class on Thursday.
I cannot believe it is already the final week of February and only one month left of this quarter after that. This SBS is going by so fast! At the end of this quarter I am going to Goa with Lottie my English lady-love. I am so excited to go to a beach and just lay on it and be able to wear a swim-suit again hopefully. I'm excited for relaxing with Lottie and relaxing with God. I pray he is at the center of our holiday and we can pray for each other and build each other up while we are there. That it wouldn't be a holiday from God, but with God.
Pray for rest. I am so tired all the time. Even today on my day of rest where I've had more sleep than usual.
Pray for finances. I am getting worried and I shouldn't be.
Pray for patience and grace. This culture is frustrating and so are people here. It's getting to that point where I've been here for awhile now and things that once were endearing are quite the opposite.
Pray for the DTS outreach teams that will soon return! Safe travels and a great debriefing week.
I love you all and think of you often. May our God of peace and strength be with you this week.
Love, love, love.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The long and winding road...
...that leads to the land of the Canaanites. That's right folks. Exodus is finished. I am happy to say I finished all my homework, ahead of the deadline even! I finished it all before lunch on Saturday, so after lunch I was able to go to the lake. Now, I had heard things about this lake and I was very excited to go swimming and show these Indians my swimming skills. Apparently, not many Indians know how to swim, so it was very fun watching one of the DTS students hold up Kalyan, a 26 year old SBS staff member, so he could practice kicking and moving his arms in the water! Oh man. You really do see something new every day in this country. Also, on our way to the lake we hit someone! But it was just the side mirror and the person was drunk, so Kalyan said it was okay. I'm sure that kind of thing happens all the time here. It was pretty crazy. The lake was HUGE! I was expecting this small lake in the middle of a dry field, but it was absolutely huge and it was surrounded by these beautiful mountain-like hill/cliffs. The beach however was rocky and not comfortable, but the Norwegians and I managed to find a small area of sand-like rocks to lay down on our towels in the sun for a few hours. It felt so good to swim again, and I even wore shorts! It's the first time I've worn shorts in public for 5 months now practically. It wasn't even really public, and that's why I was able to. It was quite funny laying in the sun with our t-shirts and pants on. Who knows when I'll ever be able to sun-bathe in just my swimsuit again. God only knows.
I always have thought that I wanted to be like Moses. I wanted to meet with the Lord face to face, like a familiar friend. I want to go near the darkness surrounding the mountain when every one else is terrified and inching away. Now, I still want to experience God like Moses did, but I realized I am totally like Moses. He kept giving God excuses when God was calling him to lead his people out of Egypt. "Why me? Why not someone else?, I don't speak good, They'll never believe you sent me..." and the list goes on. He also has an anger issue. Not that I have an anger issue, but I have other issues that hinder me from obeying God or seeing him face to face. Even now, as I am beginning to think I probably am going to stay here as staff, I still have the excuse of "I don't have any money, I am not good at speaking in front of people, I've never been a leader..." blah, blah, blah. However, all this time I thought in making excuses like this I would never properly see God, but Moses did! Moses constantly questioned the Lord and he still was in his presence more than many other people in the Bible.
Also, some funny things about Exodus. When the Israelites tell Aaron to make them other gods, Aaron clearly collects their gold, puts it in a fire, and molds it into a calf. So, Moses comes down from the mountain and sees them worshiping these idols and his anger problem flares up and he yells at Aaron, and Aaron says the greatest thing ever...He tells Moses he collected the gold cause the people wanted idols, threw it in the fire, and this calf just came out! Like, he didn't do anything, he took the gold out of the fire and it just was in the image of a calf.
This morning I went to my first ever Indian church service. I know it has been 4.5 months since I've been here pretty much, and this was my first time going. It reminded me of the small church services we attended in the Czech Republic, except this was in English, and I knew half the people there. Worship was great. Kalyan can really sing, who knew? He played my guitar, and I saw that he took his scooter and became a little wary of him bringing my guitar on a scooter in India, but if there's anyone I'd trust with my guitar on a scooter it would be him. I think that Kalyan is a character that has yet to be introduced to this India story of mine. I will tell you that he is former SBS staff here on this campus and is working on helping pioneer an SBS in North India which should start in September. He's from South India, and is very funny and very fun. He took us to the lake! I've been here for 4.5 months and didn't even know about this lake until Kalyan came to visit.
At the end of this quarter I hope to travel to Goa with my lady-love, Lottie. Picture this...a week on the beach. Literally. Eating fish, reading books, laughing like anything, discussing how funny it is she's finishing SBS and I'm staffing. Both things we were not going to do at the beginning of SBS.
I have recently become addicted to Cadbury's Dairy Milk Fruit & Nut chocolate bars. Picture this...a bar of chocolate with nuts. Assorted nuts. Almonds and cashews. I like this because I'm not such a big fan of peanuts in chocolate. However, I do love peanut butter with chocolate. Anyway, this chocolate bar also has raisins in it. I love them so much. I cannot stop eating them. I think I need to seek counsel from the School of Addictive Behaviors going on this quarter.
I am going crazy here without a camera. If anyone has a nice camera they're not using and wants to mail it to me, that would be wonderful. The camera I had 1st quarter broke and now I am camera-less.
Valentine's Day came and went as if it was any ordinary day. As the years go by Valentine's Day becomes less and less of a big deal to me. They build it up so much during the school years. Forcing you to bring valentine's to class for everyone or no one which is nice actually because no one feels left out, but then Junior High School comes and you can send carnations to people. You can imagine this now, in home room on the morning of V-day, passing out carnations, and some people are getting like 6-10 carnations, and others zero. I'll admit, I always got one or two, from my close friends at the time, but still. There were people with nothing. How sad is that? I am so happy to be a part of this family of God. He gave me not only carnations, but roses, sunflowers, mountains, rivers, oceans, sunsets, sunrises, snow, deserts, jungles, chocolate, strawberries, whole grains, milk, ice cream, and best of all he gave me his only Son, his only child, he gave his Son's life for me. That's the best gift of love that ever was given. This morning at church Kalyan asked us all what love is exactly and then we read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which you all know fairly well, "Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not self-seeking..." all these things that I know I need to brush up on all of them, but that's what love is. That is not how this world sees love, but it's how love was meant to be. That is true love.
I always have thought that I wanted to be like Moses. I wanted to meet with the Lord face to face, like a familiar friend. I want to go near the darkness surrounding the mountain when every one else is terrified and inching away. Now, I still want to experience God like Moses did, but I realized I am totally like Moses. He kept giving God excuses when God was calling him to lead his people out of Egypt. "Why me? Why not someone else?, I don't speak good, They'll never believe you sent me..." and the list goes on. He also has an anger issue. Not that I have an anger issue, but I have other issues that hinder me from obeying God or seeing him face to face. Even now, as I am beginning to think I probably am going to stay here as staff, I still have the excuse of "I don't have any money, I am not good at speaking in front of people, I've never been a leader..." blah, blah, blah. However, all this time I thought in making excuses like this I would never properly see God, but Moses did! Moses constantly questioned the Lord and he still was in his presence more than many other people in the Bible.
Also, some funny things about Exodus. When the Israelites tell Aaron to make them other gods, Aaron clearly collects their gold, puts it in a fire, and molds it into a calf. So, Moses comes down from the mountain and sees them worshiping these idols and his anger problem flares up and he yells at Aaron, and Aaron says the greatest thing ever...He tells Moses he collected the gold cause the people wanted idols, threw it in the fire, and this calf just came out! Like, he didn't do anything, he took the gold out of the fire and it just was in the image of a calf.
This morning I went to my first ever Indian church service. I know it has been 4.5 months since I've been here pretty much, and this was my first time going. It reminded me of the small church services we attended in the Czech Republic, except this was in English, and I knew half the people there. Worship was great. Kalyan can really sing, who knew? He played my guitar, and I saw that he took his scooter and became a little wary of him bringing my guitar on a scooter in India, but if there's anyone I'd trust with my guitar on a scooter it would be him. I think that Kalyan is a character that has yet to be introduced to this India story of mine. I will tell you that he is former SBS staff here on this campus and is working on helping pioneer an SBS in North India which should start in September. He's from South India, and is very funny and very fun. He took us to the lake! I've been here for 4.5 months and didn't even know about this lake until Kalyan came to visit.
At the end of this quarter I hope to travel to Goa with my lady-love, Lottie. Picture this...a week on the beach. Literally. Eating fish, reading books, laughing like anything, discussing how funny it is she's finishing SBS and I'm staffing. Both things we were not going to do at the beginning of SBS.
I have recently become addicted to Cadbury's Dairy Milk Fruit & Nut chocolate bars. Picture this...a bar of chocolate with nuts. Assorted nuts. Almonds and cashews. I like this because I'm not such a big fan of peanuts in chocolate. However, I do love peanut butter with chocolate. Anyway, this chocolate bar also has raisins in it. I love them so much. I cannot stop eating them. I think I need to seek counsel from the School of Addictive Behaviors going on this quarter.
I am going crazy here without a camera. If anyone has a nice camera they're not using and wants to mail it to me, that would be wonderful. The camera I had 1st quarter broke and now I am camera-less.
Valentine's Day came and went as if it was any ordinary day. As the years go by Valentine's Day becomes less and less of a big deal to me. They build it up so much during the school years. Forcing you to bring valentine's to class for everyone or no one which is nice actually because no one feels left out, but then Junior High School comes and you can send carnations to people. You can imagine this now, in home room on the morning of V-day, passing out carnations, and some people are getting like 6-10 carnations, and others zero. I'll admit, I always got one or two, from my close friends at the time, but still. There were people with nothing. How sad is that? I am so happy to be a part of this family of God. He gave me not only carnations, but roses, sunflowers, mountains, rivers, oceans, sunsets, sunrises, snow, deserts, jungles, chocolate, strawberries, whole grains, milk, ice cream, and best of all he gave me his only Son, his only child, he gave his Son's life for me. That's the best gift of love that ever was given. This morning at church Kalyan asked us all what love is exactly and then we read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which you all know fairly well, "Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not self-seeking..." all these things that I know I need to brush up on all of them, but that's what love is. That is not how this world sees love, but it's how love was meant to be. That is true love.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I wasn't prepared for this
I have been sick for the last week pretty much, well, tomorrow it will have been a week, unless I miraculously wake up feeling 100% better! I haven't felt hungry all day, yet I've been eating cause I haven't ate so much in the past week. I'll admit I am feeling 10 times better today than I have in the previous 5 days, but this seems to be wearing me down and on top of all this illness we have just begun the old testament. This week started off with Genesis and I wasn't prepared because I was sick all weekend and behind on homework, and now I'm frantically trying to catch up and here I am writing in this instead of doing homework (great time management skills Sarah). Another piece of straw on the camel's back is our speaker this week who happens to be a very, very intelligent man who seems to be fluent in Hebrew and knows everything there is to know about Genesis. Unfortunately, he has not ever taught in an SBS before really. He hasn't prepared any notes and is just talking in circles about the same things over and over and speaking in Hebrew more than English I think. Needless to say, the information we desperately need from lectures is not coming, and instead of the usual 3 days of lectures this week, we're having 4! That means even less time to do assignments, and if any of you understand this, I have 38 charts I need to finish by Friday night of which I am on number 11 right now and haven't even color-coded Genesis yet cause of my illness. One could say I'm a little stressed out and discouraged about this quarter starting off on the wrong foot.
I am also feeling a heaviness and exhaustion I have not experienced before. I really think most of the students are feeling this as well. I was so passionate last quarter, and since I've been back I've been a little slacker and now this is the time I need to get in gear really and actually schedule my time to finish a zillion charts in mere hours. I think that because every single one of us continued after 1st quarter perhaps Satan is pushing us down with his thumb into the ground. Most SBS's lose a few students after first quarter.
Which leads to another thing. We are losing one of our students! Alem, a wonderful, beautiful-hearted man who loves others so well and really understands serving people. He is going to leave us soon as he has not been home for a long time because he has been doing school after school after school. At least he finished new testament, but he will be missed dearly. Pray God gives him rest and blesses his time with his family and reveals next steps for him. He really has a heart for the School of Worship and wants to staff here this September in that school.
As for me, I desperately need money and prayer for my health, stress, anxiety, depression, and also I am still on the fence about the whole staffing SBS here thing.
Now, onto happier things for the rest of this entry:
I have been praying for dreams from the Lord about anything he wants to reveal to me. A few nights ago I dreamt I was at Barnes and Noble and kept running into all my closest friends, but I was hurriedly saying hello and good-bye to them, because though I was not employed at this Barnes and Noble, I was a frequent customer and they asked me to work in the Starbucks Cafe there because all the employees' shifts ended at the same time with no one scheduled to fill in. So, I was supposed to work in this cafe, by myself. I had never worked in a Coffee shop before! (actually at home I did for 2 days in real life and it was the most stressful/nervous time of my life!) So as you can see it was stressful in my dream and I did not know how I was going to do this. I walked into the Cafe and sitting at one of the tables was Ryan Gosling as his character in The Notebook, Noah. Now Noah had worked in the Cafe for many years and was an expert in all things coffee. However, he would not show me how to do anything and I sat next to him all stressed out and asked him how I was going to do this. He looked at me and smiled and simply said that I would be fine and everything would work out. He told me not to worry about anything, then he randomly throws in this, "you know, my entire life I have never been fully satisfied by anything I've tasted."
Then I woke up.
I have determined the coffee shop is the old testament. I don't know how I am going to complete this week let alone this quarter. This week the speaker is not helping in anything he has told us so I feel unprepared and since this is the first book of the OT I have never studied these books before inductively!
I think Noah is just perhaps a wise person who has already done SBS or has been studying the Bible their whole life who just encouraged me to just do it and continue and not worry. It'll be fine. Everything will work out. Him saying he's never been fully satisfied by anything he ate or tasted most likely means, though he's been studying the Bible his entire life he still hungers for more of it and God continues to give more and more new things to him through the words, but he still wants more and more.
That's my own interpretation of my dream.
For those of you who don't know me so well, I usually always have celebrities in my dreams. I secretly think that means I'll be famous some day. Ha!
Lately I think I am so exhausted because I have not been resting in God. I have been resting a lot, but not with God. Not in his presence. He is the only thing that can truly refresh my weary body.
I was really encouraged this morning by Psalm 138. It's only 9 verses. Pick up your Bible and read it.
I am also feeling a heaviness and exhaustion I have not experienced before. I really think most of the students are feeling this as well. I was so passionate last quarter, and since I've been back I've been a little slacker and now this is the time I need to get in gear really and actually schedule my time to finish a zillion charts in mere hours. I think that because every single one of us continued after 1st quarter perhaps Satan is pushing us down with his thumb into the ground. Most SBS's lose a few students after first quarter.
Which leads to another thing. We are losing one of our students! Alem, a wonderful, beautiful-hearted man who loves others so well and really understands serving people. He is going to leave us soon as he has not been home for a long time because he has been doing school after school after school. At least he finished new testament, but he will be missed dearly. Pray God gives him rest and blesses his time with his family and reveals next steps for him. He really has a heart for the School of Worship and wants to staff here this September in that school.
As for me, I desperately need money and prayer for my health, stress, anxiety, depression, and also I am still on the fence about the whole staffing SBS here thing.
Now, onto happier things for the rest of this entry:
I have been praying for dreams from the Lord about anything he wants to reveal to me. A few nights ago I dreamt I was at Barnes and Noble and kept running into all my closest friends, but I was hurriedly saying hello and good-bye to them, because though I was not employed at this Barnes and Noble, I was a frequent customer and they asked me to work in the Starbucks Cafe there because all the employees' shifts ended at the same time with no one scheduled to fill in. So, I was supposed to work in this cafe, by myself. I had never worked in a Coffee shop before! (actually at home I did for 2 days in real life and it was the most stressful/nervous time of my life!) So as you can see it was stressful in my dream and I did not know how I was going to do this. I walked into the Cafe and sitting at one of the tables was Ryan Gosling as his character in The Notebook, Noah. Now Noah had worked in the Cafe for many years and was an expert in all things coffee. However, he would not show me how to do anything and I sat next to him all stressed out and asked him how I was going to do this. He looked at me and smiled and simply said that I would be fine and everything would work out. He told me not to worry about anything, then he randomly throws in this, "you know, my entire life I have never been fully satisfied by anything I've tasted."
Then I woke up.
I have determined the coffee shop is the old testament. I don't know how I am going to complete this week let alone this quarter. This week the speaker is not helping in anything he has told us so I feel unprepared and since this is the first book of the OT I have never studied these books before inductively!
I think Noah is just perhaps a wise person who has already done SBS or has been studying the Bible their whole life who just encouraged me to just do it and continue and not worry. It'll be fine. Everything will work out. Him saying he's never been fully satisfied by anything he ate or tasted most likely means, though he's been studying the Bible his entire life he still hungers for more of it and God continues to give more and more new things to him through the words, but he still wants more and more.
That's my own interpretation of my dream.
For those of you who don't know me so well, I usually always have celebrities in my dreams. I secretly think that means I'll be famous some day. Ha!
Lately I think I am so exhausted because I have not been resting in God. I have been resting a lot, but not with God. Not in his presence. He is the only thing that can truly refresh my weary body.
I was really encouraged this morning by Psalm 138. It's only 9 verses. Pick up your Bible and read it.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Amen. Come Lord Jesus!
It is done!
The New Testament is finished. Not even fully. Not even as much as I would have liked to study it. But I know it better than I ever have before. Now I just need to remember all the main ideas and reasons written and dates and key verses! I've never been one to memorize anything let alone be good at it. If you know me well, you know that I forget everything and can barely remember to get dressed in the morning, let alone remember all these parts of 27 different books!
I wrote a 19 minute long song for my horizontal chart for Revelation! We were given creative freedom for this book, so I took that and wrote out pretty much a paraphrase of the entire book. 19 whole minutes of The Revelation of Jesus Christ!
Revelation has been wonderful. It is not a scary book. It is not so complicated either once you know the original audience's situation and understand that everything in the book is symbolic, not literal (at least that's my opinion and the Early Church's understanding of it). I love this book though, it is a book full of worship, and is basically an evangelistic book. It tells the same story as the gospels only in a few different ways and there are 3 or 4 different views of the same things throughout the book. I love John's style of writing. He is cyclical, quite unlike Paul. Paul is more linear in his writing, like one, two, three, done, whereas John keeps jumping around to the same ideas over and over, but in no particular order.
One major thing I learned today deals with the final judgment. I always thought we'd all stand before his throne and get judged for all the things we have done and though we are saved by grace, we still had to stand up there and have everyone see or hear what we did. That is not the case my friends! It's the people who did not choose God's grace who will be judged for their works, and no one can be saved by works, it's impossible. No one is perfect. Only one person was ever perfect, and it is by his ransom we are saved by grace if we so choose. So, why not choose grace?
The cat has been let out of the bag around campus that I have been considering staying for maybe 2 extra years here in India to be SBS staff. The only thing holding me back is finances. Now, I know that God will provide if it is his will for me to stay here. It's funny though, I came with no intention to stay any longer than I had to, and now here I am with a 10 year Indian visa and an idea, dare I say "desire?", to be staff! I know that I was counting on a giant chunk of money coming from selling my guitar, but that did not work out, and I am thankful that I was able to bring it with me after the Christmas holiday, but I'm struggling. It's okay though, I'm still here, and so far it hasn't affected my situation right now. Please pray for me and if God leads you feel free to give! It is really easy, you can do it online by clicking on the "donate!" button to the right. Someone has used it and it works wonderfully. No extra/hidden charges or fees, it goes straight to my account.
Enough about finances.
I am excited to begin the Old Testament next week! Pray for me to manage my time well for that. Right now I'm not doing a very good job. I am however, better than I ever have been with time-management, but it is not good enough for the Old Testament! I need to actually write a schedule down to the hour at least, maybe even minute. Ya'll know how much I love schedules and am on time for things. Ay carumba.
I watched Slumdog Millionaire the other day, and I would suggest everyone see this movie. I don't know if it's still in the theaters at home, but if it is please go see it! It's amazing and it's even more amazing seeing it in India, but you can't all have that experience yet.
Yesterday was Republic Day for India. It's like our Independence Day, although I didn't see much happening besides our campus's flag raising in the morning and national anthem singing. A lot of people around town were wearing little Indian flags pinned to their shirts, including myself and my British lady-love, Lottie. I truly love this country, and could spend a lot of time here, if not the rest of my life. As long as I was with people I loved doing what I loved by loving God with every part of myself.
Funny, I came to this coffee shop to do homework, but haven't done any for the last 1.5 hours. Mostly because of all the silly things to do I forgot to bring my BIBLE! See what I mean about never remembering? I even remember going up to my room specifically to grab my Bible, and where does that bring me? A ten minute walk away from campus with no means of doing my homework.
Alright, this blog is long enough. I know it has been awhile since I last wrote, and for that I'm sorry. I am afraid it will be even less frequent when the Old Testament begins to take up every moment of my time, but I'll try as much as I can to write in here often! I'm not even sure how many people read this thing anyway.
May the hope and peace of the Lamb be with all of you!
xoxoxoxo
The New Testament is finished. Not even fully. Not even as much as I would have liked to study it. But I know it better than I ever have before. Now I just need to remember all the main ideas and reasons written and dates and key verses! I've never been one to memorize anything let alone be good at it. If you know me well, you know that I forget everything and can barely remember to get dressed in the morning, let alone remember all these parts of 27 different books!
I wrote a 19 minute long song for my horizontal chart for Revelation! We were given creative freedom for this book, so I took that and wrote out pretty much a paraphrase of the entire book. 19 whole minutes of The Revelation of Jesus Christ!
Revelation has been wonderful. It is not a scary book. It is not so complicated either once you know the original audience's situation and understand that everything in the book is symbolic, not literal (at least that's my opinion and the Early Church's understanding of it). I love this book though, it is a book full of worship, and is basically an evangelistic book. It tells the same story as the gospels only in a few different ways and there are 3 or 4 different views of the same things throughout the book. I love John's style of writing. He is cyclical, quite unlike Paul. Paul is more linear in his writing, like one, two, three, done, whereas John keeps jumping around to the same ideas over and over, but in no particular order.
One major thing I learned today deals with the final judgment. I always thought we'd all stand before his throne and get judged for all the things we have done and though we are saved by grace, we still had to stand up there and have everyone see or hear what we did. That is not the case my friends! It's the people who did not choose God's grace who will be judged for their works, and no one can be saved by works, it's impossible. No one is perfect. Only one person was ever perfect, and it is by his ransom we are saved by grace if we so choose. So, why not choose grace?
The cat has been let out of the bag around campus that I have been considering staying for maybe 2 extra years here in India to be SBS staff. The only thing holding me back is finances. Now, I know that God will provide if it is his will for me to stay here. It's funny though, I came with no intention to stay any longer than I had to, and now here I am with a 10 year Indian visa and an idea, dare I say "desire?", to be staff! I know that I was counting on a giant chunk of money coming from selling my guitar, but that did not work out, and I am thankful that I was able to bring it with me after the Christmas holiday, but I'm struggling. It's okay though, I'm still here, and so far it hasn't affected my situation right now. Please pray for me and if God leads you feel free to give! It is really easy, you can do it online by clicking on the "donate!" button to the right. Someone has used it and it works wonderfully. No extra/hidden charges or fees, it goes straight to my account.
Enough about finances.
I am excited to begin the Old Testament next week! Pray for me to manage my time well for that. Right now I'm not doing a very good job. I am however, better than I ever have been with time-management, but it is not good enough for the Old Testament! I need to actually write a schedule down to the hour at least, maybe even minute. Ya'll know how much I love schedules and am on time for things. Ay carumba.
I watched Slumdog Millionaire the other day, and I would suggest everyone see this movie. I don't know if it's still in the theaters at home, but if it is please go see it! It's amazing and it's even more amazing seeing it in India, but you can't all have that experience yet.
Yesterday was Republic Day for India. It's like our Independence Day, although I didn't see much happening besides our campus's flag raising in the morning and national anthem singing. A lot of people around town were wearing little Indian flags pinned to their shirts, including myself and my British lady-love, Lottie. I truly love this country, and could spend a lot of time here, if not the rest of my life. As long as I was with people I loved doing what I loved by loving God with every part of myself.
Funny, I came to this coffee shop to do homework, but haven't done any for the last 1.5 hours. Mostly because of all the silly things to do I forgot to bring my BIBLE! See what I mean about never remembering? I even remember going up to my room specifically to grab my Bible, and where does that bring me? A ten minute walk away from campus with no means of doing my homework.
Alright, this blog is long enough. I know it has been awhile since I last wrote, and for that I'm sorry. I am afraid it will be even less frequent when the Old Testament begins to take up every moment of my time, but I'll try as much as I can to write in here often! I'm not even sure how many people read this thing anyway.
May the hope and peace of the Lamb be with all of you!
xoxoxoxo
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