I cannot believe I have already been home for about three months! It has been quite the emotional roller coaster since I've been home. It's always difficult to leave the ones you have grown to love intimately in the past nine months. People I grew with, people I made mistakes in front of, people who know me better than anyone else right now. People I did not even know existed 13 months ago. Yes, it has been one year since I first set foot in India. The country that scared me more than anything else, but now I call "home."
I'm not exactly sure how it came to be that I fell in love with India. The people, the places, the customs. Sure, some of it...a lot of it is still very overwhelming and incomprehensible at times but that's what makes living in India so exciting and full of eye and mind opening experiences. The people there are so community minded, family minded, and it's very hard to come back to a very individualistic culture. I have found myself depressed many times here because I'm never around anyone anymore. Every one is at work when I'm at home and then my family and friends are home when I'm at work. At least at work I still get to be surrounded by Indian people and Indian culture. Yes, I have found a job at an Indian restaurant/grocery in Maple Grove called Curry Up. Come on down if you are in the area! We have good Indian food!
A lot of changes are happening in my life right now. I have realized that I don't need priorities. That only stresses me out. I need to seek FIRST the kingdom of God and everything else will be added. That's the only time Jesus speaks on "priorities" and it isn't even called a priority. It's the first and only thing to do basically. I want to figure out what this means in my life and figure out how to see myself through God's eyes. My head and heart need a lot of healing, cleaning out, and organizing. I hope to begin this journey of finding myself, seeking Him first, and how in the world to apply all the things I have learned studying the Bible in the past year. I also don't want to stop studying His words. That is one reason why I wish to staff SBS for two years. So I don't discontinue digging deeper into His wisdom and His story (History!).
Come back for more updates on how I am doing in this process, this journey of limbo between SBS student and SBS staff. I have a feeling it's going to be life changing like only our wonderful Maker does best! I just hope that I do my best to love him and love others while I'm home.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I'm a long way from home, and so all alone
I am here in Maple Grove, Minnesota sitting on the couch watching The Office. It is hard to be away from India. I miss the people. I miss the country. I really miss life in India. Fortunately, as an answer to prayers, God has blessed me with a job almost immediately after coming home. I believe I only had one week of no job after coming back. I now work at Curry Up Indian Grocery and Restaurant in Maple Grove. I mostly work in the restaurant part and it is really fun! I like the people I work with and I love seeing so many Indian people again.
Being home has been great. It has been hard, but I know it is exactly what I need and I hope that while I am home God will speak to me about what's really next for me. I also need to take some time to start processing all the things I've learned during SBS. I want to start applying the timeless truths. I want to continue studying the Bible here even though it has been quite difficult to pick up a Bible again since the graduation.
I feel a bit out of place being back home just because I'm not keen on the latest music, movies, or even news stories that happened within the last nine months. There were marriages, engagements, some new-comers welcomed into families, and also some good-byes were said in others. A lot has changed and some things have stayed the same. It has been amazing eating good old American home cooking again! I have missed Turkey and most dairy products. It's amazing how much we take for granted here like having electricity all day every day, and having hot water whenever you want it.
Right now I'm working on my job, beginning to read through the New Testament again, and also my application for staffing for the SBS in India for the next 2 years. I plan to go back to India in January and stay there for two years. I'm praying for support and encouragement and confirmation for staffing there and also confirmation and encouragement hopefully in other areas of my life.
It is good to be in the United States with a different mindset and outlook on our freedom. We really are lucky and privileged to be citizens of such a free, advanced country.
Being home has been great. It has been hard, but I know it is exactly what I need and I hope that while I am home God will speak to me about what's really next for me. I also need to take some time to start processing all the things I've learned during SBS. I want to start applying the timeless truths. I want to continue studying the Bible here even though it has been quite difficult to pick up a Bible again since the graduation.
I feel a bit out of place being back home just because I'm not keen on the latest music, movies, or even news stories that happened within the last nine months. There were marriages, engagements, some new-comers welcomed into families, and also some good-byes were said in others. A lot has changed and some things have stayed the same. It has been amazing eating good old American home cooking again! I have missed Turkey and most dairy products. It's amazing how much we take for granted here like having electricity all day every day, and having hot water whenever you want it.
Right now I'm working on my job, beginning to read through the New Testament again, and also my application for staffing for the SBS in India for the next 2 years. I plan to go back to India in January and stay there for two years. I'm praying for support and encouragement and confirmation for staffing there and also confirmation and encouragement hopefully in other areas of my life.
It is good to be in the United States with a different mindset and outlook on our freedom. We really are lucky and privileged to be citizens of such a free, advanced country.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
A hard rain's a-gonna fall
Monsoon has begun. Not the horrible all day for weeks rain, but it has begun to rain every single day at least for a little while each day. It's nice because our clothes still dry quickly, and the temperature has cooled down a lot. Praise God for that! I was getting ready to die of heat stroke.
It is the final week of SBS. There are exactly 3 days left until I graduate! Time has flown by faster than I ever thought possible. It is quite humorous and of course completely a good idea to end this SBS with three wisdom books. Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, and Proverbs. Yes we've learned a lot and studied historical backgrounds galore, but that is all knowledge. This is wisdom. Practical things to do in order to apply that knowledge we have gained. When we finish this school we must go back into the world making wise choices. We must set an example like Paul did for Timothy and so many other young disciples of Paul. Like the Israelites did for all the surrounding nations, but also not like the Israelites did when they constantly worshiped other gods and idols instead of the one true God. When I leave here and come home, I want to be an example. I want to be passionate about what I've learned and pass it on to people at home.
There also seems to be a running theme this final week of SBS which is marriage and life partner. This is a huge thing in India. Everyone looks forward to getting married and a common question to be asked is when you want to get married. People really say "in two years I will get married" or "in one year I'll get married" however, they at that time, do not have a significant other. It's so crazy how heavily ingrained marriage is in these people's minds. It mostly has to do with the fact that most marriages are arranged here in India. Even Christian ones. It's rare to hear of a "love" marriage, and when I do hear of one I get very excited. However, it's a bit overwhelming most of the time when people keep talking about marriage, love, etc. That is not what life is all about.
On Friday for graduation I am going to wear a tribal skirt from Nagaland instead of a Sari. I would have loved to wear a Sari, but since i already wore one for Christmas, I thought I'd choose a different type of custom dress from the Northeast part of India. It is a beautiful skirt with green and pink stripes on the top and bottom. The skirt itself is black in color, and the tribe it comes from is called Angami. I'll be sure to put up pictures in a few days!
I will soon be home and am anxious, nervous, sad, excited, and ready to come home for a season. Pray that the transition won't take too long and that I can catch up on my sleep quickly. Also, pray that I find a full-time job very soon after getting to Minnesota. Pray for wisdom and discernment for some big decisions in my life soon, but also pray that they don't overwhelm me or seem so huge. God is bigger than these decisions.
Love you all! See some of you soon!
It is the final week of SBS. There are exactly 3 days left until I graduate! Time has flown by faster than I ever thought possible. It is quite humorous and of course completely a good idea to end this SBS with three wisdom books. Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, and Proverbs. Yes we've learned a lot and studied historical backgrounds galore, but that is all knowledge. This is wisdom. Practical things to do in order to apply that knowledge we have gained. When we finish this school we must go back into the world making wise choices. We must set an example like Paul did for Timothy and so many other young disciples of Paul. Like the Israelites did for all the surrounding nations, but also not like the Israelites did when they constantly worshiped other gods and idols instead of the one true God. When I leave here and come home, I want to be an example. I want to be passionate about what I've learned and pass it on to people at home.
There also seems to be a running theme this final week of SBS which is marriage and life partner. This is a huge thing in India. Everyone looks forward to getting married and a common question to be asked is when you want to get married. People really say "in two years I will get married" or "in one year I'll get married" however, they at that time, do not have a significant other. It's so crazy how heavily ingrained marriage is in these people's minds. It mostly has to do with the fact that most marriages are arranged here in India. Even Christian ones. It's rare to hear of a "love" marriage, and when I do hear of one I get very excited. However, it's a bit overwhelming most of the time when people keep talking about marriage, love, etc. That is not what life is all about.
On Friday for graduation I am going to wear a tribal skirt from Nagaland instead of a Sari. I would have loved to wear a Sari, but since i already wore one for Christmas, I thought I'd choose a different type of custom dress from the Northeast part of India. It is a beautiful skirt with green and pink stripes on the top and bottom. The skirt itself is black in color, and the tribe it comes from is called Angami. I'll be sure to put up pictures in a few days!
I will soon be home and am anxious, nervous, sad, excited, and ready to come home for a season. Pray that the transition won't take too long and that I can catch up on my sleep quickly. Also, pray that I find a full-time job very soon after getting to Minnesota. Pray for wisdom and discernment for some big decisions in my life soon, but also pray that they don't overwhelm me or seem so huge. God is bigger than these decisions.
Love you all! See some of you soon!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Litte did I know that I almost let you go until I caught a glimpse of life without you
Judah was ridiculous. I mean, they saw Israel spiral downwards until they eventually were exiled to Assyria and mixed with other people groups so that they eventually became the Samarians that Jews hated! Can you imagine! Even though Judah saw their sister Israel end up in such a horrible wreck, they followed in her footsteps. They even took it a few steps farther and ended up making Israel seem like a saint compared to Judah's sin and idolatry. Ezekiel sees a very clear picture of God's heart for the house of Judah in his book. Not just once, but many times over and over again. Especially chapter 23 talking about Oholah and Oholibah. The two adulteress sisters. God makes it very, very clear in the Old Testament that when we have idols in our lives it's like we are prostituting ourselves. We're being unfaithful to God. It's graphic, but it gets the point across I think. It is serious when we put things before God.
I am so thrilled to be done with Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel. The major prophets. The big books. We have no more big books left for SBS! Just some minor prophets and the wisdom literature (Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, and Song of Songs or Solomon, whichever you prefer). And of all 66 books in the entire Bible we have 7 left. Seven! The perfect number. Ahhh. What a wonderful place to be in. We will be studying Daniel and Haggai this upcoming week. Daniel is one of my favorite stories. Not only because of the lion's den, but also Shadrach, Mechach, and Abednego.
I can tell you right now I think that I won't miss Hindi music for a while after I go home. That's for sure. Music is bigger here than in the States if you can imagine that. Music is the defining factor for everyone's life. They use their phones as music players like no other nation I've seen. We use iPods even though most of our phones now are fully capeable of holding and playing music. Yet here, they constantly have music playing from their phones in their pockets while they're walking down the street, or riding their bike, or on the local train (at least they'll use headphones on the train). Every store has music blaring, coffee shops, everywhere. Rickshaw drivers have music playing, taxi drivers, weddings are constantly going on with huge groups of people dancing in the street to a giant speaker sound system playing music loud as anything.
I am ready to go home, but excited for the next chapter of my life. Keep your eyes open for a full-time job for me when I get home. One that does not involve children preferably.
I don't know exactly what I will do with my time after SBS. I might go insane, or I might actually sleep for one entire week straight to make up for the endless hours of sleep I have lost these past 9 months. The date of my return is not being released to the public cause I want time to refresh and renew before I see people, so if you ask I most likely won't tell you.
My brother, Jonny joined the marines a few months back and went off to boot camp on Monday, please keep him in your prayers as the Marines has one of the toughest trainings.
Pray for my last three weeks that I'd focus on school work and not on distractions and it's hard to spend time with homework when I'm leaving in three weeks and just want to spend time with people.
I miss you all, and cannot wait to see you very soon! Within the next two months I'll be home.
Love, love, love.
I am so thrilled to be done with Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel. The major prophets. The big books. We have no more big books left for SBS! Just some minor prophets and the wisdom literature (Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, and Song of Songs or Solomon, whichever you prefer). And of all 66 books in the entire Bible we have 7 left. Seven! The perfect number. Ahhh. What a wonderful place to be in. We will be studying Daniel and Haggai this upcoming week. Daniel is one of my favorite stories. Not only because of the lion's den, but also Shadrach, Mechach, and Abednego.
I can tell you right now I think that I won't miss Hindi music for a while after I go home. That's for sure. Music is bigger here than in the States if you can imagine that. Music is the defining factor for everyone's life. They use their phones as music players like no other nation I've seen. We use iPods even though most of our phones now are fully capeable of holding and playing music. Yet here, they constantly have music playing from their phones in their pockets while they're walking down the street, or riding their bike, or on the local train (at least they'll use headphones on the train). Every store has music blaring, coffee shops, everywhere. Rickshaw drivers have music playing, taxi drivers, weddings are constantly going on with huge groups of people dancing in the street to a giant speaker sound system playing music loud as anything.
I am ready to go home, but excited for the next chapter of my life. Keep your eyes open for a full-time job for me when I get home. One that does not involve children preferably.
I don't know exactly what I will do with my time after SBS. I might go insane, or I might actually sleep for one entire week straight to make up for the endless hours of sleep I have lost these past 9 months. The date of my return is not being released to the public cause I want time to refresh and renew before I see people, so if you ask I most likely won't tell you.
My brother, Jonny joined the marines a few months back and went off to boot camp on Monday, please keep him in your prayers as the Marines has one of the toughest trainings.
Pray for my last three weeks that I'd focus on school work and not on distractions and it's hard to spend time with homework when I'm leaving in three weeks and just want to spend time with people.
I miss you all, and cannot wait to see you very soon! Within the next two months I'll be home.
Love, love, love.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Once there was a way to get back homeward
God is completely, wholly, and eternally wonderful. He is too good to me. Why should I be surprised when he actually answers my prayers? I am not surprised any longer. I am thankful, grateful, excited, happy, and fearful of the Lord my God who is faithful and listens to my cries for mercy. He is merciful. He is gracious. He is my provider and my strength in times of stress and doubt. Why worry?
I am faced right now with a decision to make. There are many options. I have narrowed it down to three options. So, please pray that God would speak to me and show me his desire in my life. The concrete thing for after SBS is coming home. However, the thought of Minnesota is not in a homely way anymore. It is more like I'm going to see my family and friends. Lonavala seems to have slowly seeped into my heart and mind as "home." So, anyway, I am coming home to Minnesota for six months at the very least. Now, my goal is to be back in India in January, after the New Year. My two options for coming back to India are 1) Joining Arts With A Mission (AWAM) which I have talked about plenty on here. Or else 2) Begin staffing the next SBS in its second - third quarter then staff one more full SBS the following September. I hope to know before I go back to Minnesota which to come back for. My third option is not to come back to India at all. Please pray for me and let me know if you get anything from the Lord.
I also need to find a full-time job almost immediately upon returning home so if you know of anything, mostly not involving children, please let me know! If you don't know of any job opportunity, then please simply pray that God would already begin to open a door.
And yes, I'm going to say it, I need prayer about a relationship that God has placed into my lap with a wonderful man here in India. We both need wisdom, discernment, and confirmation if this is God's desire for our lives. I mean, we are not officially in a relationship as of yet, but this of course is also influencing my decision to come back to India, and I'm afraid that if I come back it's also like I'm choosing this man, I'm choosing this relationship, I am choosing most likely my husband. That is the scariest thing in the world to me. I am afraid of commitment.
It is getting so hot here. I cannot barely cope with every day living. I sweat like anything when I brush my teeth! The thought of power cuts makes me go crazy. It's funny how a fan makes the heat way more bearable. Ceiling fans are one of the greatest inventions ever. They will be a big part of my life in the future. I think every room in the house should have a ceiling fan. Who needs A/C when you have ceiling fans? All of you in Minnesota, really, you have it good. I'd much rather be in the heat there now than here. Because of this heat I am tired all the time. I always want to sleep. I am thankful to be in India and do love this country and it's Indian Summers. Now I fully understand that phrase, if it was not actually spoken about India and Native Americans, then it fits well into the Indian side of things as well.
There are only 36 days left of SBS. Of course I'm counting! I am ready to be done with charting for the rest of my life. Of course I'll still study the Bible, however I will never chart again! Ba ha ha ha ha ha. As a staff member I will get to grade the student's charts and lead a small group. How wonderful will SBS be as staff? The only thing that scares me is teaching, but I think maybe God did put the desire to be SBS staff into my heart for a reason the first quarter, even if I lost sight of it for a few months.
Well, I think that's about all I need prayer for and all that is turning the wheels inside my mind. Onto bigger and better things this week! We're studying Jeremiah. I think I might cry. I mean, Isaiah was built up as this huge book no one ever completes, but I found it a lot easier than expected. I just hope Jeremiah is the same. I'm looking forward to finishing the big books. I cannot believe there are only 2 giant books left for us to study in SBS! Jeremiah and Ezekiel. The rest are "snacks" as our school leader described them Tuesday morning.
I hope you all are doing well adjusting to your weather changes. Just know that however hot it gets there it's more hot here, so be thankful and rejoice always!
I am faced right now with a decision to make. There are many options. I have narrowed it down to three options. So, please pray that God would speak to me and show me his desire in my life. The concrete thing for after SBS is coming home. However, the thought of Minnesota is not in a homely way anymore. It is more like I'm going to see my family and friends. Lonavala seems to have slowly seeped into my heart and mind as "home." So, anyway, I am coming home to Minnesota for six months at the very least. Now, my goal is to be back in India in January, after the New Year. My two options for coming back to India are 1) Joining Arts With A Mission (AWAM) which I have talked about plenty on here. Or else 2) Begin staffing the next SBS in its second - third quarter then staff one more full SBS the following September. I hope to know before I go back to Minnesota which to come back for. My third option is not to come back to India at all. Please pray for me and let me know if you get anything from the Lord.
I also need to find a full-time job almost immediately upon returning home so if you know of anything, mostly not involving children, please let me know! If you don't know of any job opportunity, then please simply pray that God would already begin to open a door.
And yes, I'm going to say it, I need prayer about a relationship that God has placed into my lap with a wonderful man here in India. We both need wisdom, discernment, and confirmation if this is God's desire for our lives. I mean, we are not officially in a relationship as of yet, but this of course is also influencing my decision to come back to India, and I'm afraid that if I come back it's also like I'm choosing this man, I'm choosing this relationship, I am choosing most likely my husband. That is the scariest thing in the world to me. I am afraid of commitment.
It is getting so hot here. I cannot barely cope with every day living. I sweat like anything when I brush my teeth! The thought of power cuts makes me go crazy. It's funny how a fan makes the heat way more bearable. Ceiling fans are one of the greatest inventions ever. They will be a big part of my life in the future. I think every room in the house should have a ceiling fan. Who needs A/C when you have ceiling fans? All of you in Minnesota, really, you have it good. I'd much rather be in the heat there now than here. Because of this heat I am tired all the time. I always want to sleep. I am thankful to be in India and do love this country and it's Indian Summers. Now I fully understand that phrase, if it was not actually spoken about India and Native Americans, then it fits well into the Indian side of things as well.
There are only 36 days left of SBS. Of course I'm counting! I am ready to be done with charting for the rest of my life. Of course I'll still study the Bible, however I will never chart again! Ba ha ha ha ha ha. As a staff member I will get to grade the student's charts and lead a small group. How wonderful will SBS be as staff? The only thing that scares me is teaching, but I think maybe God did put the desire to be SBS staff into my heart for a reason the first quarter, even if I lost sight of it for a few months.
Well, I think that's about all I need prayer for and all that is turning the wheels inside my mind. Onto bigger and better things this week! We're studying Jeremiah. I think I might cry. I mean, Isaiah was built up as this huge book no one ever completes, but I found it a lot easier than expected. I just hope Jeremiah is the same. I'm looking forward to finishing the big books. I cannot believe there are only 2 giant books left for us to study in SBS! Jeremiah and Ezekiel. The rest are "snacks" as our school leader described them Tuesday morning.
I hope you all are doing well adjusting to your weather changes. Just know that however hot it gets there it's more hot here, so be thankful and rejoice always!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I'm broken and I'm colder than her
The much anticipated week of Isaiah is over halfway done with. Am I caught up with my homework? No. Am I hurting a lot? Yes. Is Isaiah a crazy book? Most definitely. So far it is my favorite prophet. It is huge though, and can seem overwhelming to the untrained eye, but to the almost veteran SBSer it's a happily welcomed challenge! This week did not start out on the right foot however. I woke up early Monday morning, excited and ready to tackle this giant book of sin, judmgent, and restoration however I received an e-mail from my mother informing me of my Grandpa's passing just the night before. It was not the happiest news to wake up to the first day of Isaiah, but I was okay. I did not have much time to dwell on this information, so I did okay the first two days of the week. Yesterday however I was reminded of school fees due by Friday, of which I have no money to offer. I also was reminded of a credit card payment past due. Two very overwhelming things stacked on top of the grief of my grandfather passing away and the burden of Isaiah's assignments. I tried to sit down to start my homework for the day yesterday, but stared blankly at the page and decided I needed to pray. I went up to my empty room and then the rivers of tears flowed. Oh how they flowed. I finally had time to mourn and express my feelings to the Lord. After a while of sobbing and crying out to God I picked myself up, well, God helped pick me up, and then I went to my school leader to just share what is going on in my head and my heart this week. He said he could not do much, but he could push back the school fee deadline for me and that would relieve some of the stress. Then, he prayed for me which was wonderful. In times like this especially, I need prayer, and I am the type of person who doesn't ask for it even when I desperately need it. I don't know why I do that, but I just don't ask.
So, to conclude my seemingly awful day yesterday, it started of okay, climaxed into an outburst of emotion and tears, then quietly concluded in a peaceful, restful even evening.
Today I look forward to more teaching on Isaiah and cannot wait until lunch when I'm free to work on homework until the deadline Saturday evening.
This weekend I am so excited to go to Pune and stay with my dear friend Karen for one of the final times before she goes to Jaipur to staff a DTS. This means I won't see her again before I go home, but I am so excited for her to staff this DTS! I also will be making tacos with Merete my Norwegian counter-part on Sunday! We have some friends here who have never eaten tacos before. Can you believe that? So, we hope that the sole import grocery store in Pune has all the ingredients needed like taco seasoning and sour cream. Fingers crossed. Also, Sunday seems to be the Norwegian National Day, so we'll also be indulging in some ice cream and donning some sweet Norwegian flag pins. Excellent.
Pray for finances. I need $353 in one month. God will provide. Will he use YOU?
Pray that I would invite the Holy Spirit into my assignments so I don't just go through the motions of charting and I would actually experience God in these assignments. I realized I have been doing them out of my own strength the past few weeks, and I want to only do them out of God's strength. With his insight, not my own.
I feel as if God is stripping everything away from me so that for the first time in my life I really only have him to lean on. It reminds me of Isaiah where he says over and over again that he simply wants Israel to rely only on him and not other nations to save them. It's like the same with me. I have no money, I get no rest, food is not nourishing, and I have lost myself in the Bible most days of the week, but my mind has lost itself in worry and doubt. I need prayer of focus and desire to invite God into sharing my assignment load.
Also, if you wish, you can throw a party on Sunday because then I'll be free of the burden of Isaiah. It's a wonderful burden to carry and I am certainly seeing many, many characteristics of God, but it's just overwhelming to basically write your own commentary on the entire Bible in 9 months, and 7.5 months into it makes a girl go a little crazy.
Sorry there haven't been many pictures in awhile. I still have not received the camera in the mail and am actually a little worried since they sent it well over a month ago. Pray that it arrives safe and sound soon.
So, to conclude my seemingly awful day yesterday, it started of okay, climaxed into an outburst of emotion and tears, then quietly concluded in a peaceful, restful even evening.
Today I look forward to more teaching on Isaiah and cannot wait until lunch when I'm free to work on homework until the deadline Saturday evening.
This weekend I am so excited to go to Pune and stay with my dear friend Karen for one of the final times before she goes to Jaipur to staff a DTS. This means I won't see her again before I go home, but I am so excited for her to staff this DTS! I also will be making tacos with Merete my Norwegian counter-part on Sunday! We have some friends here who have never eaten tacos before. Can you believe that? So, we hope that the sole import grocery store in Pune has all the ingredients needed like taco seasoning and sour cream. Fingers crossed. Also, Sunday seems to be the Norwegian National Day, so we'll also be indulging in some ice cream and donning some sweet Norwegian flag pins. Excellent.
Pray for finances. I need $353 in one month. God will provide. Will he use YOU?
Pray that I would invite the Holy Spirit into my assignments so I don't just go through the motions of charting and I would actually experience God in these assignments. I realized I have been doing them out of my own strength the past few weeks, and I want to only do them out of God's strength. With his insight, not my own.
I feel as if God is stripping everything away from me so that for the first time in my life I really only have him to lean on. It reminds me of Isaiah where he says over and over again that he simply wants Israel to rely only on him and not other nations to save them. It's like the same with me. I have no money, I get no rest, food is not nourishing, and I have lost myself in the Bible most days of the week, but my mind has lost itself in worry and doubt. I need prayer of focus and desire to invite God into sharing my assignment load.
Also, if you wish, you can throw a party on Sunday because then I'll be free of the burden of Isaiah. It's a wonderful burden to carry and I am certainly seeing many, many characteristics of God, but it's just overwhelming to basically write your own commentary on the entire Bible in 9 months, and 7.5 months into it makes a girl go a little crazy.
Sorry there haven't been many pictures in awhile. I still have not received the camera in the mail and am actually a little worried since they sent it well over a month ago. Pray that it arrives safe and sound soon.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
I've been known to fall in love
My friend told me the other day he wanted me to be careful playing volleyball because I oftentimes get hurt when I do, however, today walking up the stairs I fell and square the center of my knee cap with the edge of one marble step. Excellent. I now have a giant bump on my knee that is a strange shade of early sunrise blue. Even more excellent.
Conclusion, walking up stairs is more dangerous than playing volleyball.
This week our speaker is from the mid-west of the states and enjoys talking about judgment and sowing good or bad seeds, then reaping what you sow. She talked of how a lone man thought Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment coming down on New Orleans for its past of debauchery, slaves, and pirates. She said that he was like the voice crying out in the wilderness, that it was sad no other Christians came and spoke with him and supported him! She spoke of how her ex-husband had cheated on her and lived with another woman while they were married and God defended her by giving the other woman 2 miscarriages and cervical cancer. Now, I have not fully grasped God's character so far in studying the Bible, but these things do not sit right with me. These things make me angry in fact. I know God judged nations and people before Christ came. I know God also sent prophets and judges to those nations and people to warn them or save them even of what was coming and to hopefully turn their hearts to God and repentance. However, when Christ came he was the final prophet like that maybe. Calling not just one single people group or nation to repent, but the entire world. Throughout all time! So now, we are with our grace all the time. We have this new covenant. This new grace. We have the blood of Jesus, and I don't know if God pours his wrath on unrepentant cities anymore because Jesus came and took that old covenant curse upon himself for everyone. Needless to say, this week has been quite a rough one spiritually. I feel as if I'm wrestling with too many things and to top it all off we have this speaker, who really is a wonderful woman, but I just do not agree with her view on things.
Conclusion, I am not a republican, and I never will be. Also, FOX news is off the menu for the rest of my life.
Next week begins Isaiah. This is it. A major prophet. A major time-consuming prophet. I do not even know what I will do with myself next week. I mean, I know what I'll be doing, but is it possible? Will I complete Isaiah? Will I force myself into using my time wisely? Will I die of sheer exhaustion? This book might drain the life out of my bones! My heart may or may not stop beating next week, and if it does, I just want you all to know it was worth it, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance. Not really. SBS is tough. If I had known before coming here what I was getting myself into I would not have come. It's good to be ignorant sometimes. If I had known what India was like I would not have come either. Now that I've been somewhat held captive here for the past 7.5 months, I have fallen in love with India, and I can say that I'm glad SBS is almost over and I certainly am glad I've done it! I wouldn't do it over again, but sure am glad to almost be done. That was just like a synonymous parallelism. Excellent. Making use of my figure of speech terms for the prophets.
Conclusion, SBS is hard, but worth it.
Thanks to my Soul-mate I think I have discovered the best new musician in my life for a while. He is known as City and Colour. His real name is Dallas (city) Green (color). Dallas Green. Apparently he used to be in a punk rock band, and now he's solo and acoustic/folk! He is wonderful and his voice is quite haunting. His songs are catchy. His heart is real. Plus, who can resist a tattooed man playing banjo and guitar? No one. Not even one.
Conclusion, you should all check out City and Colour. Especially the song "The Girl" and "Constant Knot". Although, all others are good as well.
Pray that I get $353 dollars by next Friday to pay for the final half of my quarter. Then that's it! I'm halfway done with the third and final quarter of SBS! I'll be home in no time!
Pray that my heart and body and soul starts getting prepared right now to go home. The United States of America seems less appealing and more complicated the more I think about going home. I love my country, however, it's going to be very different when I get home. I will be different, whereas the country has not changed so much. Except that we have a new president.
Pray that I get enough rest the next month and a half and that I do not burn out. I'm almost there! I'd hate to burn out this close to the end of SBS.
Thank you for all your prayers and support and encouragement. Please don't cease from leaving comments or shooting off short e-mails. I like to hear what you're up to as well.
Conclusion, walking up stairs is more dangerous than playing volleyball.
This week our speaker is from the mid-west of the states and enjoys talking about judgment and sowing good or bad seeds, then reaping what you sow. She talked of how a lone man thought Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment coming down on New Orleans for its past of debauchery, slaves, and pirates. She said that he was like the voice crying out in the wilderness, that it was sad no other Christians came and spoke with him and supported him! She spoke of how her ex-husband had cheated on her and lived with another woman while they were married and God defended her by giving the other woman 2 miscarriages and cervical cancer. Now, I have not fully grasped God's character so far in studying the Bible, but these things do not sit right with me. These things make me angry in fact. I know God judged nations and people before Christ came. I know God also sent prophets and judges to those nations and people to warn them or save them even of what was coming and to hopefully turn their hearts to God and repentance. However, when Christ came he was the final prophet like that maybe. Calling not just one single people group or nation to repent, but the entire world. Throughout all time! So now, we are with our grace all the time. We have this new covenant. This new grace. We have the blood of Jesus, and I don't know if God pours his wrath on unrepentant cities anymore because Jesus came and took that old covenant curse upon himself for everyone. Needless to say, this week has been quite a rough one spiritually. I feel as if I'm wrestling with too many things and to top it all off we have this speaker, who really is a wonderful woman, but I just do not agree with her view on things.
Conclusion, I am not a republican, and I never will be. Also, FOX news is off the menu for the rest of my life.
Next week begins Isaiah. This is it. A major prophet. A major time-consuming prophet. I do not even know what I will do with myself next week. I mean, I know what I'll be doing, but is it possible? Will I complete Isaiah? Will I force myself into using my time wisely? Will I die of sheer exhaustion? This book might drain the life out of my bones! My heart may or may not stop beating next week, and if it does, I just want you all to know it was worth it, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance. Not really. SBS is tough. If I had known before coming here what I was getting myself into I would not have come. It's good to be ignorant sometimes. If I had known what India was like I would not have come either. Now that I've been somewhat held captive here for the past 7.5 months, I have fallen in love with India, and I can say that I'm glad SBS is almost over and I certainly am glad I've done it! I wouldn't do it over again, but sure am glad to almost be done. That was just like a synonymous parallelism. Excellent. Making use of my figure of speech terms for the prophets.
Conclusion, SBS is hard, but worth it.
Thanks to my Soul-mate I think I have discovered the best new musician in my life for a while. He is known as City and Colour. His real name is Dallas (city) Green (color). Dallas Green. Apparently he used to be in a punk rock band, and now he's solo and acoustic/folk! He is wonderful and his voice is quite haunting. His songs are catchy. His heart is real. Plus, who can resist a tattooed man playing banjo and guitar? No one. Not even one.
Conclusion, you should all check out City and Colour. Especially the song "The Girl" and "Constant Knot". Although, all others are good as well.
Pray that I get $353 dollars by next Friday to pay for the final half of my quarter. Then that's it! I'm halfway done with the third and final quarter of SBS! I'll be home in no time!
Pray that my heart and body and soul starts getting prepared right now to go home. The United States of America seems less appealing and more complicated the more I think about going home. I love my country, however, it's going to be very different when I get home. I will be different, whereas the country has not changed so much. Except that we have a new president.
Pray that I get enough rest the next month and a half and that I do not burn out. I'm almost there! I'd hate to burn out this close to the end of SBS.
Thank you for all your prayers and support and encouragement. Please don't cease from leaving comments or shooting off short e-mails. I like to hear what you're up to as well.
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