It's April 26th! Can anyone believe that? Perhaps you can, but I cannot. Time has flown by since I first touched down on the tarmac of the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport back on July 3rd of 2009. I remember my first good idea was to go back to India in January and when that was pushed back to June I thought, "that is going to take an eternity to get here." But it's here! It's just around the bend. For so long I have said that I could leave tomorrow at any given time, but now that it's so close I am not ready! I could not leave tomorrow even if I had cleaned everything at my parent's house and packed everything up. My heart isn't ready, my head is not ready, my body isn't prepared to get back to that spicy, oily, delicious Indian food. My mind isn't ready to sit through classes again and the thought of beginning this new journey in teaching others how to study God's words and historical backgrounds or going through a book verse by verse with a class seems daunting at best. No wonder Timothy plucks a special string in my heart. He's a young guy, given a daunting task to teach and raise up elders, and then to take over Paul's ministry. Yikes! I am so thankful that I am doing this not for myself at all and I have a wonderful, gracious God who sees only my potential when he looks at me and not my weaknesses.
I was reading a piece of Francis of Assisi's writings today. He wrote about studying scriptures not merely to be wiser than others or teach in such a way as to receive others' wrongful marvel, but to study knowing one will never fully understand it all and the Spirit will always have understanding and revelations for us to revel in. I do not wish to study the Bible or teach it to gain earthly glory or praise from humans, but to know God more and help lead others to Truth. All of which I cannot do on my own and in my own strength. I am but an instrument and a tool for God to use however he so wishes. The last few sentences I read of Francis for today are exactly what I want to happen to me and the other students and staff I will be working with. In fact I pray this is what every follower and lover of Jesus Christ would become:
[writing about those who study the Scriptures]
Only in their words and actions will you know the ones in whom the spirit of God's Word dwells. For in their very lives, they will not draw attention to themselves, but will be like a clear glass through which you can see our most high Lord God, to whom every good belongs.
I know a handful of people in my life that are that clear glass through which I see glimpses of God's majesty. I pray that one day I might be like them and that my friends and family around me would not see me as the friend, sister, or cousin that travels the world, but the friend, sister, or cousin that they see Jesus through.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Your Love is Better Than Life
I went to Starbucks this morning thinking to myself that I really want a Venti (Huge) drink, but would resolve for a Grande (medium). So when I got there I reloaded my starbucks gift card and ordered a Grande Peppermint Mocha Frappucino with no whip (which is my "usual" at all starbucks locations), and to my surprise and delight they made me a Venti anyway even though they had no idea the dialog within my brain on the way to Starbucks. God loves to bless his Beloved!
I heard back from the YWAM base in Tyler, Texas and they set up my staff account there so if anyone wishes to send me checks they can now make them out to "YWAM" and send them to the address on the side of the page here. It is very important however that you DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check. Write my name on a post-it note or piece of paper and throw it in the envelope with the check. Your donations will now be tax deductible and you can even opt for automatic monthly withdrawels if you wish! It's pretty snazzy. Just contact me if you would like to do that and I'll get you the info.
I cannot believe time has flown by so quickly. I leave already on June 16th! I will be going first to London to hang out with Lottie, by dear friend from SBS, and then a week later I'll be on a plane to Mumbai. God is providing everything in amazing ways! He is really surprising me with the people and places he's using to get his plan for my life out and about. His plan for India. I am excited to be a part of this change in India. God is doing mighty things there and I feel honored to be an instrument of His over there, and even here now while He is preparing me to go there again. I never thought I'd live long-term in India. Ever. In fact I was all about the "secular" music industry for awhile and convinced I would somehow be influential in the US over musicians. But God had bigger plans, and yes, I do believe this is bigger than being a famous musician.
I have decided to read through the Psalms in the next 39 days, 40 days beginning yesterday. I also have these two books I found in one of my mom's many boxes of books. One is a 40 day journey with Augustine and the other is a 40 day journey with Francis of Assisi. So, I'm set for these next 40 days. I want to take a journey these 40 days. A journey to find more of my identity in Jesus and to be open for God's preparation of my mind, heart, will, body, and every other part of my life that needs to and wants to be touched by Him. I am excited for what this year is already becoming and what doors it will open and has opened. I have already met a lot of new people excited about God's kingdom in India and here in Minnesota too. I'm glad it's all one big kingdom and not divided into different sections or cities or buildings. How awesome will it be when His kingdom is 100% here on earth? I cannot even picture what that will be like.
This last weekend, Easter weekend, I was a part of a group of people who sought to change lives with Jesus Christ in a small city a little north of where I am. I'll admit, this place has not been agreeable with me for some time, I love the people involved with it, I have just been incredibly critical and a little tiny bit bitter when it comes to this place. I have been praying about my attitude and I don't think it has completely changed, but this last weekend I was sitting in a church service in their smaller campus and when that "altar" call came and I think only 6 or 7 people stood up to acknowledge they changed their lives at that moment, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I felt the uncontrollable urge to weep. Weep for joy because these people have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and it's not going to be the easiest life from here on out, but it's going to be a life full of love, support, and joy no matter what they do! It's going to be a life of grace, mercy, and peace with the right heart and attitude. I've been in this family ever since I can remember, and it's not cake walk, but when I sit back and really think about the situations I get myself into I do know, I truly know, that I am loved, accepted, and valuable. I have realized for some time now that although I might not agree with some of the teachings of this group of people or how they do things, I do know for a fact that their hearts are in the right place, and if there's one thing I learned from studying the Bible, that's all that really matters to God. The condition of our heart, the attitude of our heart. And so I pray now that my heart would always be for Him and not against Him. That my heart would truly reflect God's heart and that it would drive and push me to do marvelous things with God's help for His purposes.
God is truly the most wonderful being. He is everything I hope to be and I am so glad that I am on His side and He is on mine. He won't leave you or ignore you. He will always love you and see your truest potential instead of your mistakes and guilt. I am glad he is taking this journey with me, or perhaps I should say that I am taking this journey with Him.
I hope to play music one more time at Maverick's Wood Grill before I leave, and also I'll keep you all posted for a "farewell" party coming sometime in June I reckon where we can swim, barbecue and laugh one last time before I go to India.
Thank you for partnering with me and our Creator in this adventure and this vision God has placed in all of our hearts.
I heard back from the YWAM base in Tyler, Texas and they set up my staff account there so if anyone wishes to send me checks they can now make them out to "YWAM" and send them to the address on the side of the page here. It is very important however that you DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check. Write my name on a post-it note or piece of paper and throw it in the envelope with the check. Your donations will now be tax deductible and you can even opt for automatic monthly withdrawels if you wish! It's pretty snazzy. Just contact me if you would like to do that and I'll get you the info.
I cannot believe time has flown by so quickly. I leave already on June 16th! I will be going first to London to hang out with Lottie, by dear friend from SBS, and then a week later I'll be on a plane to Mumbai. God is providing everything in amazing ways! He is really surprising me with the people and places he's using to get his plan for my life out and about. His plan for India. I am excited to be a part of this change in India. God is doing mighty things there and I feel honored to be an instrument of His over there, and even here now while He is preparing me to go there again. I never thought I'd live long-term in India. Ever. In fact I was all about the "secular" music industry for awhile and convinced I would somehow be influential in the US over musicians. But God had bigger plans, and yes, I do believe this is bigger than being a famous musician.
I have decided to read through the Psalms in the next 39 days, 40 days beginning yesterday. I also have these two books I found in one of my mom's many boxes of books. One is a 40 day journey with Augustine and the other is a 40 day journey with Francis of Assisi. So, I'm set for these next 40 days. I want to take a journey these 40 days. A journey to find more of my identity in Jesus and to be open for God's preparation of my mind, heart, will, body, and every other part of my life that needs to and wants to be touched by Him. I am excited for what this year is already becoming and what doors it will open and has opened. I have already met a lot of new people excited about God's kingdom in India and here in Minnesota too. I'm glad it's all one big kingdom and not divided into different sections or cities or buildings. How awesome will it be when His kingdom is 100% here on earth? I cannot even picture what that will be like.
This last weekend, Easter weekend, I was a part of a group of people who sought to change lives with Jesus Christ in a small city a little north of where I am. I'll admit, this place has not been agreeable with me for some time, I love the people involved with it, I have just been incredibly critical and a little tiny bit bitter when it comes to this place. I have been praying about my attitude and I don't think it has completely changed, but this last weekend I was sitting in a church service in their smaller campus and when that "altar" call came and I think only 6 or 7 people stood up to acknowledge they changed their lives at that moment, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I felt the uncontrollable urge to weep. Weep for joy because these people have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and it's not going to be the easiest life from here on out, but it's going to be a life full of love, support, and joy no matter what they do! It's going to be a life of grace, mercy, and peace with the right heart and attitude. I've been in this family ever since I can remember, and it's not cake walk, but when I sit back and really think about the situations I get myself into I do know, I truly know, that I am loved, accepted, and valuable. I have realized for some time now that although I might not agree with some of the teachings of this group of people or how they do things, I do know for a fact that their hearts are in the right place, and if there's one thing I learned from studying the Bible, that's all that really matters to God. The condition of our heart, the attitude of our heart. And so I pray now that my heart would always be for Him and not against Him. That my heart would truly reflect God's heart and that it would drive and push me to do marvelous things with God's help for His purposes.
God is truly the most wonderful being. He is everything I hope to be and I am so glad that I am on His side and He is on mine. He won't leave you or ignore you. He will always love you and see your truest potential instead of your mistakes and guilt. I am glad he is taking this journey with me, or perhaps I should say that I am taking this journey with Him.
I hope to play music one more time at Maverick's Wood Grill before I leave, and also I'll keep you all posted for a "farewell" party coming sometime in June I reckon where we can swim, barbecue and laugh one last time before I go to India.
Thank you for partnering with me and our Creator in this adventure and this vision God has placed in all of our hearts.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I am always, always, always yours
God is so gracious. God is so good. God is so awesome. God is so amazing. God is so marvelous. God is the greatest being of all time. God is so mysterious. God is so wonderful. God is so sacred. God is so holy. God is so perfect. God is so right. God is so beautiful. God is so terrifying. God is so HUGE. God is so astounding. God is so breathtaking. God is so remarkable. God is so spectacular.
And I could go on and on until I used up all the good adjectives in the English language, and then I could go on in other languages, and there wouldn't be enough time left in my life to continue speaking these words until I ran out of adjectives.
This last week has been particularly marvelous. God presented me with a new (yet old) job with Kidstop. A before and after-school program I have worked with in the past (for four years)! Long story short, I was offered two positions rather than the one I was interviewing for and they decided to pay me the same hourly wage I was making when I left Kidstop three years ago. Which funnily enough is almost double my hourly wage at Curry Up! Praise the Lord for this provision!
The second huge answer to prayer last week happened just yesterday/this morning. I met with the missions committee at my old church and shared my plans (God's plans) to go back to India in June and they decided to help by funding half of all my expenses! Praise God again! That is a large weight off of my shoulders and another confirmation in my mind that I am still needed in India for God's glory. I used to think that if I didn't have a heart or calling to do "God's work" here in Minnesota, in my hometown, I was going about this missionary thing all wrong. This thought is loosely based on Acts 1:8 where Jesus tells his disciples to go to Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, and the ends of the earth. We've all heard that to be interpreted as our hometown, county, state, and then the world. But Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM, spoke at a conference I was recently at over New Year's Eve, and he interpreted it differently. Were any of the disciples actually from Jerusalem? Jesus was not even from Jerusalem, and if you remember, when he did go to his hometown eventually they just ran him out of town. Jesus, the cornerstone of our faith, his ministry started far from "home." Actually, maybe only 5% of people who start their own ministry are started in their hometown. So now, the thought of me going all the way to India to do something I could very well do here, does not seem so out of whack.
I am soon setting up an account with YWAM in Tyler, TX where you can send your checks or cash that you wish to donate for my time in India. As a staff member now instead of a student, all your donations are tax-deductible and you can even have them automatically withdraw from your checking account, or pay by credit card! I still have to fill out all these forms and have my base leader sign something, but this should all be put in place by the end of March at the latest!
Of course, with all this blessing in my life there comes some hurdles. My car would not start today at all. It almost started, but then it just stopped and made some strange sound. I haven't heard from my dad yet what exactly is wrong with it, but we all think the starter is kaput. Pray that gets worked out soon because I start my new job on Monday and this weekend I need to drive back and forth to Elk River to help lead worship at The Crossing.
All this goodness happened right after I realized the need to wholly surrender my life and my desires into God's hands. He wants to take care of me, and he will take care of me, only if I let him and want him to.
Please Pray:
- the rest of my financial needs are met (maybe God is nudging you to give!)
- Car troubles.
- I'm trying for a different type of visa, there are some hurdles with this as well. I need to find an organization in India to write a letter saying I'm volunteering with them there.
- no worries or anxiety both of which I am usually the Queen.
And I could go on and on until I used up all the good adjectives in the English language, and then I could go on in other languages, and there wouldn't be enough time left in my life to continue speaking these words until I ran out of adjectives.
This last week has been particularly marvelous. God presented me with a new (yet old) job with Kidstop. A before and after-school program I have worked with in the past (for four years)! Long story short, I was offered two positions rather than the one I was interviewing for and they decided to pay me the same hourly wage I was making when I left Kidstop three years ago. Which funnily enough is almost double my hourly wage at Curry Up! Praise the Lord for this provision!
The second huge answer to prayer last week happened just yesterday/this morning. I met with the missions committee at my old church and shared my plans (God's plans) to go back to India in June and they decided to help by funding half of all my expenses! Praise God again! That is a large weight off of my shoulders and another confirmation in my mind that I am still needed in India for God's glory. I used to think that if I didn't have a heart or calling to do "God's work" here in Minnesota, in my hometown, I was going about this missionary thing all wrong. This thought is loosely based on Acts 1:8 where Jesus tells his disciples to go to Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, and the ends of the earth. We've all heard that to be interpreted as our hometown, county, state, and then the world. But Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM, spoke at a conference I was recently at over New Year's Eve, and he interpreted it differently. Were any of the disciples actually from Jerusalem? Jesus was not even from Jerusalem, and if you remember, when he did go to his hometown eventually they just ran him out of town. Jesus, the cornerstone of our faith, his ministry started far from "home." Actually, maybe only 5% of people who start their own ministry are started in their hometown. So now, the thought of me going all the way to India to do something I could very well do here, does not seem so out of whack.
I am soon setting up an account with YWAM in Tyler, TX where you can send your checks or cash that you wish to donate for my time in India. As a staff member now instead of a student, all your donations are tax-deductible and you can even have them automatically withdraw from your checking account, or pay by credit card! I still have to fill out all these forms and have my base leader sign something, but this should all be put in place by the end of March at the latest!
Of course, with all this blessing in my life there comes some hurdles. My car would not start today at all. It almost started, but then it just stopped and made some strange sound. I haven't heard from my dad yet what exactly is wrong with it, but we all think the starter is kaput. Pray that gets worked out soon because I start my new job on Monday and this weekend I need to drive back and forth to Elk River to help lead worship at The Crossing.
All this goodness happened right after I realized the need to wholly surrender my life and my desires into God's hands. He wants to take care of me, and he will take care of me, only if I let him and want him to.
Please Pray:
- the rest of my financial needs are met (maybe God is nudging you to give!)
- Car troubles.
- I'm trying for a different type of visa, there are some hurdles with this as well. I need to find an organization in India to write a letter saying I'm volunteering with them there.
- no worries or anxiety both of which I am usually the Queen.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
His Truth is Marching On
Last year, 2009, I titled it the "Year of Hope" and looking back on it I was spot on. I received hope that I can dig deeper into God's character every single day and still learn more and more. The hope that I alone found in his words and movements were grand, and if you throw in the hope I was constantly surrounded by in my classmates and wonderful friends while in India you might say it was raining hope all day every day. When I got home I had the hope of going back to India, the hope that my pursuit of God would continue even after arriving home and being removed from that structure and intensity SBS provided. I soon realized I need that structure and intensity to get anything done. As much as I always told myself I hate structure, schedules, and any sort of studying, I actually needed that stuff in order to flourish. I also discovered that maybe I would love leading others to His truth. I want to be apart of spreading the good news across the globe. So now my hope is for that. I hope to show others my love for Christ in all that I do or say (or don't say) and I hope to see every single person I come across through God's eyes of love, even when I look in the mirror. I also hope that this year's new theme proves true in the end when I again get to look back and reflect on 2010. The hope I realized in 2009 has pushed me to this year, and I decided to call this year the "Year of Love."
When it all comes down to it, our life on this planet is really about love. Loving God, loving ourselves, and loving everyone else. If that alone is done, it is enough. How do I love properly? Is there even a proper way to do it? The only example I choose to live by is Christ, and looking at his life I am far from that sort of love. So, with the hope from last year backing me up, I press on towards the goal of love. I don't mean romantic love. I don't need or want to fall in love with a man right now. Especially in the coming season of teaching in India for two years. I want to love my family, I want to love my co-workers, I want to love the customers that come into work, I want to love the other drivers on the road. I do not want to be known as the family member or friend who is the "world traveler" I want to be known as the family member or friend who loves. I want people to be fascinated by Christ's love through me so that they start asking questions and seeking God because of it. I cannot do this on my own. It is so hard for me to love certain people. So, with Jesus as my example and the Holy Spirit as my guide and God always with me, I'm going to try to catch a glimpse of what love really is.
In other news, a friend of mine and I are trying to put together a benefit concert in May for her non-profit and also for a missionary traveling to India (a.k.a. me) and so keep your Sundays open in mid-to late May, and if you have experience or any ideas on how to put together a benefit event or want to help us plan it, you are more than welcome to share your ideas and thoughts. We are both new to this kind of thing and have no idea what we're doing.
I am still looking for a different job or a few jobs on the side, so keep your eyes and ears open for any money-making opportunities and pass them on to me if you can. Also, please pray that I find a higher income or a new job. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a temp-agency type place to hopefully find me a job! Pray that goes well. The direction my current job is going in with new management makes me want to pull my hair out and either break down and cry or strangle someone, so it's not a very healthy environment for me to be working in. Yikes.
Another prayer request I have of you is for the visa situation I am currently in. The tourist visa recently changed its guidelines and if I go in on a tourist visa I have to leave every 6 months (which was always the case) however now I am not able to re-enter India for at least two months whereas previously I could cross the border of Nepal and come back into India the same day. So, for staffing a nine month school I would have to miss two months of it. I am going to apply for a different type of Visa called an Entry Visa, and I need a letter from my base in India saying I'm volunteering there, and then I need to prove that I will have enough finances to last me the two years. Then I believe I'll be able to stay in India for two years without ever having to leave!! I pray that new visa works out and all the information needed comes together easily and the visa center doesn't get suspicious of Kingdom work if you know what I mean.
When it all comes down to it, our life on this planet is really about love. Loving God, loving ourselves, and loving everyone else. If that alone is done, it is enough. How do I love properly? Is there even a proper way to do it? The only example I choose to live by is Christ, and looking at his life I am far from that sort of love. So, with the hope from last year backing me up, I press on towards the goal of love. I don't mean romantic love. I don't need or want to fall in love with a man right now. Especially in the coming season of teaching in India for two years. I want to love my family, I want to love my co-workers, I want to love the customers that come into work, I want to love the other drivers on the road. I do not want to be known as the family member or friend who is the "world traveler" I want to be known as the family member or friend who loves. I want people to be fascinated by Christ's love through me so that they start asking questions and seeking God because of it. I cannot do this on my own. It is so hard for me to love certain people. So, with Jesus as my example and the Holy Spirit as my guide and God always with me, I'm going to try to catch a glimpse of what love really is.
In other news, a friend of mine and I are trying to put together a benefit concert in May for her non-profit and also for a missionary traveling to India (a.k.a. me) and so keep your Sundays open in mid-to late May, and if you have experience or any ideas on how to put together a benefit event or want to help us plan it, you are more than welcome to share your ideas and thoughts. We are both new to this kind of thing and have no idea what we're doing.
I am still looking for a different job or a few jobs on the side, so keep your eyes and ears open for any money-making opportunities and pass them on to me if you can. Also, please pray that I find a higher income or a new job. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a temp-agency type place to hopefully find me a job! Pray that goes well. The direction my current job is going in with new management makes me want to pull my hair out and either break down and cry or strangle someone, so it's not a very healthy environment for me to be working in. Yikes.
Another prayer request I have of you is for the visa situation I am currently in. The tourist visa recently changed its guidelines and if I go in on a tourist visa I have to leave every 6 months (which was always the case) however now I am not able to re-enter India for at least two months whereas previously I could cross the border of Nepal and come back into India the same day. So, for staffing a nine month school I would have to miss two months of it. I am going to apply for a different type of Visa called an Entry Visa, and I need a letter from my base in India saying I'm volunteering there, and then I need to prove that I will have enough finances to last me the two years. Then I believe I'll be able to stay in India for two years without ever having to leave!! I pray that new visa works out and all the information needed comes together easily and the visa center doesn't get suspicious of Kingdom work if you know what I mean.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Get me out of this cavern or I'll cave in
I was blessed with a wonderful job when I came home, however change in management has created the most stressful work situation I have ever known. If anyone out there knows of a job available temporarily through June, please let me know. I have work experience in childcare for 6 years, about a year of retail, and now four months of restaurant service and grocery store cashier!
I am getting more and more excited about going back to India, which in turn ends up making me more and more nervous about returning. It's going to be a whole different ball game being staff than it was being the student. Sure I thought the latter was a lot of work, but I actually think the former might be more! I just am glad I won't have to chart anymore. The thing that terrifies me is teaching and leading people, young women especially, deeper into the character and Spirit of God. Yikes. Talk about pressure! I am happy to know that when I'm over there I won't be doing anything in my own strength or wisdom, but it will definitely be 100% God working through me.
Right now I am set on paying off my credit card by June. That is my goal. I don't even have a goal of any money saved up before I go back. So, please continue praying that my debt gets miraculously paid off and that I am able to have some money in the bank before I go back. If you need a baby-sitter or know of anyone else who needs one. Or you need someone to do your laundry, house-sit, dog-sit, cat-sit, gerbil-sit. Need someone to water your plants, rake your yard, shovel the snow. Whatever you don't want to do, pay me, I'll most likely do it. It will be completely for my trip and God's plan for the next 2 years. He wants to equip the future pastors of India with the truth and clean out their minds of all the false teachings they have heard in the last few decades. India is also full of different cults and religions. A lot of false teachers in the shape of gurus and spiritual enlightening groups. There are gods and idols everywhere you turn. You can't buy anything that hasn't been first offered to some tiny deity. India needs the Way, the Truth, and the Life that is found in Jesus Christ alone.
I am still trying to process things I have learned during my SBS but it's hard to know where to begin. I have a two foot high pile of assignments from those nine months and even more notes on my laptop that I want to read again. I just don't know where to begin.
Thank the Lord for an opportunity in the morning to share about YWAM and its many opportunities to make God known throughout the world. Grace Fellowship is having a weekend of ministries and missionaries sharing their experiences and opportunities for people to get involved and make a difference. I want to meet people tomorrow and form relationships and connections to share what God is doing in India, or at least in Maharashtra through his servants there.
I pray you all remain healthy this wonderful holiday season. That God would speak to you in new ways and nudge you in new directions, or old directions you forgot about.
I am getting more and more excited about going back to India, which in turn ends up making me more and more nervous about returning. It's going to be a whole different ball game being staff than it was being the student. Sure I thought the latter was a lot of work, but I actually think the former might be more! I just am glad I won't have to chart anymore. The thing that terrifies me is teaching and leading people, young women especially, deeper into the character and Spirit of God. Yikes. Talk about pressure! I am happy to know that when I'm over there I won't be doing anything in my own strength or wisdom, but it will definitely be 100% God working through me.
Right now I am set on paying off my credit card by June. That is my goal. I don't even have a goal of any money saved up before I go back. So, please continue praying that my debt gets miraculously paid off and that I am able to have some money in the bank before I go back. If you need a baby-sitter or know of anyone else who needs one. Or you need someone to do your laundry, house-sit, dog-sit, cat-sit, gerbil-sit. Need someone to water your plants, rake your yard, shovel the snow. Whatever you don't want to do, pay me, I'll most likely do it. It will be completely for my trip and God's plan for the next 2 years. He wants to equip the future pastors of India with the truth and clean out their minds of all the false teachings they have heard in the last few decades. India is also full of different cults and religions. A lot of false teachers in the shape of gurus and spiritual enlightening groups. There are gods and idols everywhere you turn. You can't buy anything that hasn't been first offered to some tiny deity. India needs the Way, the Truth, and the Life that is found in Jesus Christ alone.
I am still trying to process things I have learned during my SBS but it's hard to know where to begin. I have a two foot high pile of assignments from those nine months and even more notes on my laptop that I want to read again. I just don't know where to begin.
Thank the Lord for an opportunity in the morning to share about YWAM and its many opportunities to make God known throughout the world. Grace Fellowship is having a weekend of ministries and missionaries sharing their experiences and opportunities for people to get involved and make a difference. I want to meet people tomorrow and form relationships and connections to share what God is doing in India, or at least in Maharashtra through his servants there.
I pray you all remain healthy this wonderful holiday season. That God would speak to you in new ways and nudge you in new directions, or old directions you forgot about.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Hungry I come to you
I cannot believe I have already been home for about three months! It has been quite the emotional roller coaster since I've been home. It's always difficult to leave the ones you have grown to love intimately in the past nine months. People I grew with, people I made mistakes in front of, people who know me better than anyone else right now. People I did not even know existed 13 months ago. Yes, it has been one year since I first set foot in India. The country that scared me more than anything else, but now I call "home."
I'm not exactly sure how it came to be that I fell in love with India. The people, the places, the customs. Sure, some of it...a lot of it is still very overwhelming and incomprehensible at times but that's what makes living in India so exciting and full of eye and mind opening experiences. The people there are so community minded, family minded, and it's very hard to come back to a very individualistic culture. I have found myself depressed many times here because I'm never around anyone anymore. Every one is at work when I'm at home and then my family and friends are home when I'm at work. At least at work I still get to be surrounded by Indian people and Indian culture. Yes, I have found a job at an Indian restaurant/grocery in Maple Grove called Curry Up. Come on down if you are in the area! We have good Indian food!
A lot of changes are happening in my life right now. I have realized that I don't need priorities. That only stresses me out. I need to seek FIRST the kingdom of God and everything else will be added. That's the only time Jesus speaks on "priorities" and it isn't even called a priority. It's the first and only thing to do basically. I want to figure out what this means in my life and figure out how to see myself through God's eyes. My head and heart need a lot of healing, cleaning out, and organizing. I hope to begin this journey of finding myself, seeking Him first, and how in the world to apply all the things I have learned studying the Bible in the past year. I also don't want to stop studying His words. That is one reason why I wish to staff SBS for two years. So I don't discontinue digging deeper into His wisdom and His story (History!).
Come back for more updates on how I am doing in this process, this journey of limbo between SBS student and SBS staff. I have a feeling it's going to be life changing like only our wonderful Maker does best! I just hope that I do my best to love him and love others while I'm home.
I'm not exactly sure how it came to be that I fell in love with India. The people, the places, the customs. Sure, some of it...a lot of it is still very overwhelming and incomprehensible at times but that's what makes living in India so exciting and full of eye and mind opening experiences. The people there are so community minded, family minded, and it's very hard to come back to a very individualistic culture. I have found myself depressed many times here because I'm never around anyone anymore. Every one is at work when I'm at home and then my family and friends are home when I'm at work. At least at work I still get to be surrounded by Indian people and Indian culture. Yes, I have found a job at an Indian restaurant/grocery in Maple Grove called Curry Up. Come on down if you are in the area! We have good Indian food!
A lot of changes are happening in my life right now. I have realized that I don't need priorities. That only stresses me out. I need to seek FIRST the kingdom of God and everything else will be added. That's the only time Jesus speaks on "priorities" and it isn't even called a priority. It's the first and only thing to do basically. I want to figure out what this means in my life and figure out how to see myself through God's eyes. My head and heart need a lot of healing, cleaning out, and organizing. I hope to begin this journey of finding myself, seeking Him first, and how in the world to apply all the things I have learned studying the Bible in the past year. I also don't want to stop studying His words. That is one reason why I wish to staff SBS for two years. So I don't discontinue digging deeper into His wisdom and His story (History!).
Come back for more updates on how I am doing in this process, this journey of limbo between SBS student and SBS staff. I have a feeling it's going to be life changing like only our wonderful Maker does best! I just hope that I do my best to love him and love others while I'm home.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I'm a long way from home, and so all alone
I am here in Maple Grove, Minnesota sitting on the couch watching The Office. It is hard to be away from India. I miss the people. I miss the country. I really miss life in India. Fortunately, as an answer to prayers, God has blessed me with a job almost immediately after coming home. I believe I only had one week of no job after coming back. I now work at Curry Up Indian Grocery and Restaurant in Maple Grove. I mostly work in the restaurant part and it is really fun! I like the people I work with and I love seeing so many Indian people again.
Being home has been great. It has been hard, but I know it is exactly what I need and I hope that while I am home God will speak to me about what's really next for me. I also need to take some time to start processing all the things I've learned during SBS. I want to start applying the timeless truths. I want to continue studying the Bible here even though it has been quite difficult to pick up a Bible again since the graduation.
I feel a bit out of place being back home just because I'm not keen on the latest music, movies, or even news stories that happened within the last nine months. There were marriages, engagements, some new-comers welcomed into families, and also some good-byes were said in others. A lot has changed and some things have stayed the same. It has been amazing eating good old American home cooking again! I have missed Turkey and most dairy products. It's amazing how much we take for granted here like having electricity all day every day, and having hot water whenever you want it.
Right now I'm working on my job, beginning to read through the New Testament again, and also my application for staffing for the SBS in India for the next 2 years. I plan to go back to India in January and stay there for two years. I'm praying for support and encouragement and confirmation for staffing there and also confirmation and encouragement hopefully in other areas of my life.
It is good to be in the United States with a different mindset and outlook on our freedom. We really are lucky and privileged to be citizens of such a free, advanced country.
Being home has been great. It has been hard, but I know it is exactly what I need and I hope that while I am home God will speak to me about what's really next for me. I also need to take some time to start processing all the things I've learned during SBS. I want to start applying the timeless truths. I want to continue studying the Bible here even though it has been quite difficult to pick up a Bible again since the graduation.
I feel a bit out of place being back home just because I'm not keen on the latest music, movies, or even news stories that happened within the last nine months. There were marriages, engagements, some new-comers welcomed into families, and also some good-byes were said in others. A lot has changed and some things have stayed the same. It has been amazing eating good old American home cooking again! I have missed Turkey and most dairy products. It's amazing how much we take for granted here like having electricity all day every day, and having hot water whenever you want it.
Right now I'm working on my job, beginning to read through the New Testament again, and also my application for staffing for the SBS in India for the next 2 years. I plan to go back to India in January and stay there for two years. I'm praying for support and encouragement and confirmation for staffing there and also confirmation and encouragement hopefully in other areas of my life.
It is good to be in the United States with a different mindset and outlook on our freedom. We really are lucky and privileged to be citizens of such a free, advanced country.
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