I have had the absolute worst attitude lately. Ever since I returned from the US I have been a little bitch. Pardon my French. Mostly I have been incredibly critical of everything and everyone. Somehow I have ended up on top of this tall pedestal where I look down on the people and world around me. I have been selfish and I have basically been a big baby. Everything is about me and making me happy.
The irony is that no matter what I do or how many times I might get my way, I am not happy. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. I am very much reminded of my Ecclesiastes teaching last year. If you enjoy things of the world without God in the midst of that enjoyment you will never be happy and you will never be satisfied.
I've been filling my time with reading The Count of Monte Cristo, Boy Meets World, Glee, McDonalds and chocolate. None of these things bring me that peaceful happiness that I used to live with. Instead I finish one thing and immediately run to another. I am not sure how I got to this place, but I'm sure it has something to do with apathy and laziness. Not to mention that d-bag, Satan.
I even prayed with a dear friend of mine who was confessing and repenting of a struggle that is happening with both of us, and I did not even feel remorse. I did not even feel bad or convicted or that I needed to change my way of living even though I knew that I need to repent and try to change things.
Yesterday morning I began to write in my journal, it seems that's my best communication with God. I am just starting to realize if I don't write in my journal each day then my day feels empty. So, I was writing in my journal for the first time in a stinking long time, and suddenly this overwhelming sense of confession came over me and I just started writing all the things I have been filling my life with instead of good things, godly things. I have been living the Ecclesiastes lifestyle. Fo rizzle. It's not that watching Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence have another fight is wrong, but it is if I fill my time with John Adams High drama without inviting my Father to join me. He created man in His image which means we are somewhat like Him, which means we are creative like He is creative (except we cannot create out of nothing) and therefore, He gave man the mind to create the storyline of Boy Meets World and therefore I should enjoy it!!! But I must acknowledge His part in it. Not praise the show, but praise the Maker of the mind which created the show. Whew!
I could write a lot more, but I don't want to scare anyone away from reading a "long" worded entry. However, I will say this one thing: The Count of Monte Cristo is pretty much one of the greatest books ever written. The movie is insulting to the genius of Alexander Dumas. The way Edmond Dantes seeks revenge is actually the most interesting and time-consuming planned-out vengeance plot I have ever seen and if you have never read this book I highly recommend it. Do yourself a favor and check it out from your local library or if you have a Kindle, you can download it for FREE! It's one of those free classic books. It may be a long book, but you won't be able to put it down. This is probably my fourth time reading it. It never gets old.
Besides, who wouldn't want to read a book written by this guy?
The irony is that no matter what I do or how many times I might get my way, I am not happy. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. I am very much reminded of my Ecclesiastes teaching last year. If you enjoy things of the world without God in the midst of that enjoyment you will never be happy and you will never be satisfied.
I've been filling my time with reading The Count of Monte Cristo, Boy Meets World, Glee, McDonalds and chocolate. None of these things bring me that peaceful happiness that I used to live with. Instead I finish one thing and immediately run to another. I am not sure how I got to this place, but I'm sure it has something to do with apathy and laziness. Not to mention that d-bag, Satan.
The McSpicy Chicken sandwich only available in India. SO GOOD.
I even prayed with a dear friend of mine who was confessing and repenting of a struggle that is happening with both of us, and I did not even feel remorse. I did not even feel bad or convicted or that I needed to change my way of living even though I knew that I need to repent and try to change things.
Yesterday morning I began to write in my journal, it seems that's my best communication with God. I am just starting to realize if I don't write in my journal each day then my day feels empty. So, I was writing in my journal for the first time in a stinking long time, and suddenly this overwhelming sense of confession came over me and I just started writing all the things I have been filling my life with instead of good things, godly things. I have been living the Ecclesiastes lifestyle. Fo rizzle. It's not that watching Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence have another fight is wrong, but it is if I fill my time with John Adams High drama without inviting my Father to join me. He created man in His image which means we are somewhat like Him, which means we are creative like He is creative (except we cannot create out of nothing) and therefore, He gave man the mind to create the storyline of Boy Meets World and therefore I should enjoy it!!! But I must acknowledge His part in it. Not praise the show, but praise the Maker of the mind which created the show. Whew!
Shawn, Topanga, Cory, and Eric. I seriously wish they were not only real people, but my best friends.
Besides, who wouldn't want to read a book written by this guy?
2 comments:
Ahh... I feel as though you and I are in the same boat. All I ever do anymore is complain. I hear myself and I want to stop, but it keeps coming out of my mouth and i think the only solution is to knock me unconscious... seriously. i still love you wonderfully and fearfully created one!
Thank you Sister for another enlightened blog post! I really enjoy reading them! Quite a mouthful about praising the maker of the mind that made the show! Keep at your studies and enjoying life with our Lord! In lue of what you said I praise the Maker of my Dad who made you who made the blog post that made me smile! Whew and Whew! Have a blessed week! Your bro Brent
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