My friend told me the other day he wanted me to be careful playing volleyball because I oftentimes get hurt when I do, however, today walking up the stairs I fell and square the center of my knee cap with the edge of one marble step. Excellent. I now have a giant bump on my knee that is a strange shade of early sunrise blue. Even more excellent.
Conclusion, walking up stairs is more dangerous than playing volleyball.
This week our speaker is from the mid-west of the states and enjoys talking about judgment and sowing good or bad seeds, then reaping what you sow. She talked of how a lone man thought Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment coming down on New Orleans for its past of debauchery, slaves, and pirates. She said that he was like the voice crying out in the wilderness, that it was sad no other Christians came and spoke with him and supported him! She spoke of how her ex-husband had cheated on her and lived with another woman while they were married and God defended her by giving the other woman 2 miscarriages and cervical cancer. Now, I have not fully grasped God's character so far in studying the Bible, but these things do not sit right with me. These things make me angry in fact. I know God judged nations and people before Christ came. I know God also sent prophets and judges to those nations and people to warn them or save them even of what was coming and to hopefully turn their hearts to God and repentance. However, when Christ came he was the final prophet like that maybe. Calling not just one single people group or nation to repent, but the entire world. Throughout all time! So now, we are with our grace all the time. We have this new covenant. This new grace. We have the blood of Jesus, and I don't know if God pours his wrath on unrepentant cities anymore because Jesus came and took that old covenant curse upon himself for everyone. Needless to say, this week has been quite a rough one spiritually. I feel as if I'm wrestling with too many things and to top it all off we have this speaker, who really is a wonderful woman, but I just do not agree with her view on things.
Conclusion, I am not a republican, and I never will be. Also, FOX news is off the menu for the rest of my life.
Next week begins Isaiah. This is it. A major prophet. A major time-consuming prophet. I do not even know what I will do with myself next week. I mean, I know what I'll be doing, but is it possible? Will I complete Isaiah? Will I force myself into using my time wisely? Will I die of sheer exhaustion? This book might drain the life out of my bones! My heart may or may not stop beating next week, and if it does, I just want you all to know it was worth it, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance. Not really. SBS is tough. If I had known before coming here what I was getting myself into I would not have come. It's good to be ignorant sometimes. If I had known what India was like I would not have come either. Now that I've been somewhat held captive here for the past 7.5 months, I have fallen in love with India, and I can say that I'm glad SBS is almost over and I certainly am glad I've done it! I wouldn't do it over again, but sure am glad to almost be done. That was just like a synonymous parallelism. Excellent. Making use of my figure of speech terms for the prophets.
Conclusion, SBS is hard, but worth it.
Thanks to my Soul-mate I think I have discovered the best new musician in my life for a while. He is known as City and Colour. His real name is Dallas (city) Green (color). Dallas Green. Apparently he used to be in a punk rock band, and now he's solo and acoustic/folk! He is wonderful and his voice is quite haunting. His songs are catchy. His heart is real. Plus, who can resist a tattooed man playing banjo and guitar? No one. Not even one.
Conclusion, you should all check out City and Colour. Especially the song "The Girl" and "Constant Knot". Although, all others are good as well.
Pray that I get $353 dollars by next Friday to pay for the final half of my quarter. Then that's it! I'm halfway done with the third and final quarter of SBS! I'll be home in no time!
Pray that my heart and body and soul starts getting prepared right now to go home. The United States of America seems less appealing and more complicated the more I think about going home. I love my country, however, it's going to be very different when I get home. I will be different, whereas the country has not changed so much. Except that we have a new president.
Pray that I get enough rest the next month and a half and that I do not burn out. I'm almost there! I'd hate to burn out this close to the end of SBS.
Thank you for all your prayers and support and encouragement. Please don't cease from leaving comments or shooting off short e-mails. I like to hear what you're up to as well.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Beautiful one I love you
Something wonderful is happening here. Something I never expected when coming to this country. Something that came as quite a surprise. Something beautiful. Something that fills me with many doubts and also much courage. Something that needs a lot of explaining. Something that requires a lot of prayer. Something I think I might want to pursue...or pursue me.
SBS is quickly coming to a close. Only 2 months remain and I wonder how the time has flown by. Where does time go after it is gone? Did I use my time here wisely? Not all of it. Am I still in the game? Yes, I am still in the game. I am still passing my tests. I am still passing my books. I am terrified to do Isaiah, Jeremaiah, and Ezekiel. Mostly because they're so huge and the homework will be overwhelming. I am so excited for studying the prophets. They write the way I like. Figures of speech, imagery, parallelism. Ahhh. How I love those prophets. We also have Proverbs and Song of Songs thrown in there.
Yesterday I was able to go to a resort nearby just to swim all day and lay in the sun and wear an actual swimsuit...or "swimming costume" in Indian talk. Ha ha! I ate a chicken cheeseburger and it was wonderful. It's funny how the simplest things can bring you so much joy when even they are few and far between. At home, I'd swim every day and not realize how relaxing and wonderful it is, but here, this being my first time swimming in a pool since I arrived in India last September...it was glorious! I'm even sunburned!
I have begun a strict, or not so strict, but more frequent work-out regimen. Mostly being more active here. I try to go running every other morning for 30 minutes and then we've all started playing volleyball every evening for 1-2 hours. It is so much fun! I have been made team captain. Whatever that means. I don't get to choose who is on my team, and I don't have any say in anything. I think it just means I must encourage an cheer on my team all the time. It's been a good way to spend time with students from other schools and have fun with them.
I feel as if God is preparing me for something. What that something is I have no idea, but something good of course. I have a good Father. He wants me to be ready for something big, something good, something inconceivable. If there's anything that has been repeated over and over and over and over again this quarter so far it's "mission possible" all things are possible through Christ. Completing SBS is possible. Facing this new huge decision is possible. Hearing from God is possible. Getting money to pay for my school is possible. Surviving this heat is possible. And believe me, those who know me know I'm not a huge fan of goofy catch phrases we throw around, but I know the heart behind it is good and it is actually a great encouragement for YWAMers, Philipians 4:13, but we must not simply throw that verse around without knowing the context and purpose behind its original meaning. Wow, I'm such an SBS student.
I am very sad to leave this place. I try not to think about it because it just makes me depressed. I always get depressed when I know I'm leaving somewhere I feel I belong and when the date of leaving is quickly approaching the present.
Pray I don't get depressed these next 2 months.
Pray I receive funds to pay for my final half of the quarter. I need $353 dollars. Praise the Lord he provided for me 3 weeks ago when I needed the first half! The exact amount I needed in a matter of one day!
Pray that our class doesn't get burned out and that we are wise with our time and energy these next two months.
Pray I would have discernment in making decisions God wants me to make, and that he would give me the courage to walk out those decisions.
SBS is quickly coming to a close. Only 2 months remain and I wonder how the time has flown by. Where does time go after it is gone? Did I use my time here wisely? Not all of it. Am I still in the game? Yes, I am still in the game. I am still passing my tests. I am still passing my books. I am terrified to do Isaiah, Jeremaiah, and Ezekiel. Mostly because they're so huge and the homework will be overwhelming. I am so excited for studying the prophets. They write the way I like. Figures of speech, imagery, parallelism. Ahhh. How I love those prophets. We also have Proverbs and Song of Songs thrown in there.
Yesterday I was able to go to a resort nearby just to swim all day and lay in the sun and wear an actual swimsuit...or "swimming costume" in Indian talk. Ha ha! I ate a chicken cheeseburger and it was wonderful. It's funny how the simplest things can bring you so much joy when even they are few and far between. At home, I'd swim every day and not realize how relaxing and wonderful it is, but here, this being my first time swimming in a pool since I arrived in India last September...it was glorious! I'm even sunburned!
I have begun a strict, or not so strict, but more frequent work-out regimen. Mostly being more active here. I try to go running every other morning for 30 minutes and then we've all started playing volleyball every evening for 1-2 hours. It is so much fun! I have been made team captain. Whatever that means. I don't get to choose who is on my team, and I don't have any say in anything. I think it just means I must encourage an cheer on my team all the time. It's been a good way to spend time with students from other schools and have fun with them.
I feel as if God is preparing me for something. What that something is I have no idea, but something good of course. I have a good Father. He wants me to be ready for something big, something good, something inconceivable. If there's anything that has been repeated over and over and over and over again this quarter so far it's "mission possible" all things are possible through Christ. Completing SBS is possible. Facing this new huge decision is possible. Hearing from God is possible. Getting money to pay for my school is possible. Surviving this heat is possible. And believe me, those who know me know I'm not a huge fan of goofy catch phrases we throw around, but I know the heart behind it is good and it is actually a great encouragement for YWAMers, Philipians 4:13, but we must not simply throw that verse around without knowing the context and purpose behind its original meaning. Wow, I'm such an SBS student.
I am very sad to leave this place. I try not to think about it because it just makes me depressed. I always get depressed when I know I'm leaving somewhere I feel I belong and when the date of leaving is quickly approaching the present.
Pray I don't get depressed these next 2 months.
Pray I receive funds to pay for my final half of the quarter. I need $353 dollars. Praise the Lord he provided for me 3 weeks ago when I needed the first half! The exact amount I needed in a matter of one day!
Pray that our class doesn't get burned out and that we are wise with our time and energy these next two months.
Pray I would have discernment in making decisions God wants me to make, and that he would give me the courage to walk out those decisions.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
You sacrifice so much of your life in order for this to work
Masala tea is the best tea in the whole world. I do not know how I ever enjoyed chai before coming to India. Now the chai at home seems dull although it is more flavorful at home than here, I would not even consider the stuff at home "chai."
Life has many surprises and exciting things in store for all of us. I look at the Bible in a different light now. Whenever I begin to do my assignments and go back and forth from the computer screen to the Bible I see the Bible as a book. Like a real book. A novel that someone wrote with these stories in it of history. It is hard to imagine sometimes that these people actually existed and these events actually took place! For example when Jehu becomes king of Israel, he is the first king since the divided kingdom who actually does what God wants him to do and obeys the covenant for the most part. He kills off the entire house of Ahab who was king 3 kings before Jehu and Ahab had married Jezebel the epitome of evil and was the "worst" king Israel had seen thus-far. Anyway, Jehu wrote these letters to the people who were serving the sons of Ahab, 70 sons in all, and told them to bring him the heads of the sons by the next day, and sure enough these servants brought 70 heads to Jehu in baskets the very next day! This stuff actually happened?!?! It is so unreal sometimes. Someone seriously needs to make a movie about the entire old testament. There are so many good stories here.
The mosquitoes are getting unbearable here. At least we have none in our room at night, but to talk on the phone out in the hall late at night is like my worst nightmare. I feel as if the mosquitoes have followed me from Minnesota to Maharashtra. They are the same size, but these ones are so much faster. They're a super-breed of mosquitoes that never die and always bite over and over and over again. It's a wonder I have not contracted some sort of blood-borne pathogen by now.
I will be home in approximately 75 days. That still seems like a long time when I count by days, but if I count by weeks, 11, it seems short, and months, 2.5, seems even shorter. I am excited to come home, but I am not excited to leave this place that has slowly become my home. It has also quickly become my home. How does somewhere slowly and quickly arrive at the same place in my heart? I am not sure, but I do know that as much as I want to go home I want to stay here. If money was no issue I would stay here no doubt about it. I think I might be falling in love with more than just this place. It will be good to come home for a little while though. To get my head on straight about coming back and if I still desire to come here after paying off my credit card of doom, then I will know that this truly is where God wants me. I just pray that certain things are true, real, and holy. Completely from the Lord and not from my own heart and desires, unless those match up with God's heart and desire for my life.
This second week of the final quarter is just about over, and it seems to be going by just as fast, if not faster than the previous two quarters. We start Nehemiah today and I plan on finishing it tonight. I am going to Pune tomorrow for much needed girl time with Karen my favorite Goan from the first quarter's DTS. Also, for a much needed break before the prophets begin next week. Dun dun dun... I am so excited for the prophets and it seems as though I thought I was done with Kings and Chronicles forever, but no, my adventure through the Kings has just begun now that we're about to get into the prophets. Who knew the prophets all fell into the timeline of Kings and Chronicles. I also never knew Chronicles pretty much repeats Kings from a different perspective and they only focus on the Kings of Judah, not the Kings of Israel.
Life has many surprises and exciting things in store for all of us. I look at the Bible in a different light now. Whenever I begin to do my assignments and go back and forth from the computer screen to the Bible I see the Bible as a book. Like a real book. A novel that someone wrote with these stories in it of history. It is hard to imagine sometimes that these people actually existed and these events actually took place! For example when Jehu becomes king of Israel, he is the first king since the divided kingdom who actually does what God wants him to do and obeys the covenant for the most part. He kills off the entire house of Ahab who was king 3 kings before Jehu and Ahab had married Jezebel the epitome of evil and was the "worst" king Israel had seen thus-far. Anyway, Jehu wrote these letters to the people who were serving the sons of Ahab, 70 sons in all, and told them to bring him the heads of the sons by the next day, and sure enough these servants brought 70 heads to Jehu in baskets the very next day! This stuff actually happened?!?! It is so unreal sometimes. Someone seriously needs to make a movie about the entire old testament. There are so many good stories here.
The mosquitoes are getting unbearable here. At least we have none in our room at night, but to talk on the phone out in the hall late at night is like my worst nightmare. I feel as if the mosquitoes have followed me from Minnesota to Maharashtra. They are the same size, but these ones are so much faster. They're a super-breed of mosquitoes that never die and always bite over and over and over again. It's a wonder I have not contracted some sort of blood-borne pathogen by now.
I will be home in approximately 75 days. That still seems like a long time when I count by days, but if I count by weeks, 11, it seems short, and months, 2.5, seems even shorter. I am excited to come home, but I am not excited to leave this place that has slowly become my home. It has also quickly become my home. How does somewhere slowly and quickly arrive at the same place in my heart? I am not sure, but I do know that as much as I want to go home I want to stay here. If money was no issue I would stay here no doubt about it. I think I might be falling in love with more than just this place. It will be good to come home for a little while though. To get my head on straight about coming back and if I still desire to come here after paying off my credit card of doom, then I will know that this truly is where God wants me. I just pray that certain things are true, real, and holy. Completely from the Lord and not from my own heart and desires, unless those match up with God's heart and desire for my life.
This second week of the final quarter is just about over, and it seems to be going by just as fast, if not faster than the previous two quarters. We start Nehemiah today and I plan on finishing it tonight. I am going to Pune tomorrow for much needed girl time with Karen my favorite Goan from the first quarter's DTS. Also, for a much needed break before the prophets begin next week. Dun dun dun... I am so excited for the prophets and it seems as though I thought I was done with Kings and Chronicles forever, but no, my adventure through the Kings has just begun now that we're about to get into the prophets. Who knew the prophets all fell into the timeline of Kings and Chronicles. I also never knew Chronicles pretty much repeats Kings from a different perspective and they only focus on the Kings of Judah, not the Kings of Israel.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. - Hebrews 4:16
This week so far in Goa has been the most relaxing and refreshing week of my life. I have never in my 23 years of living set aside an entire week to rest in the Lord. It is the fourth commandment! Resting is mentioned over and over again in the Bible and as Christians I know we feel like now that we live under the "new covenant" we no longer need to rest. That is a part of Moses' law, not our law. How far from the truth can we get?! The author of Hebrews stresses the fact that we still have not entered that rest promised to Israel thousands of years ago. If the rest God promised had truly been conquering the promised land then God would have stopped speaking of rest after Joshua (Hebrews 4:8). We must strive to enter this rest. I regret to say too often I go weeks and weeks without simply taking one day to rest and not do anything that needs to get done. It is especially hard during this school to find time to rest with my Maker. I am thankful that he is always there and when I have time to rest he is more than happy to welcome me into his rest. This week has been accompanied by much needed rest and relaxation. I have been able to sit in silence. I have been able to take a nap whenever I feel the need. I have been blessed beyond measure here in Goa, and I have been here a mere 5 days. I am sad to see this week quickly melt by, but I am leaving with a new attitude. A more pure heart. A strengthened mind. A willingness to study God's word again without complaining (hopefully). I feel prepared for this final quarter. I feel confident in my decision to come home after SBS at least for a season, and I feel confident so far in my decision to come back to India after some things are taken care of back home.
I have stumbled across this beautiful cat here who I have kept in a bag for a little while, and now I am beginning to let people peer inside this bag. I have not let the cat out completely yet, but I think there will be a time and a place for that. Who knows, maybe the cat does not really exist and I am just imagining things and maybe I am letting feelings tell me false realities. However, life is full of surprises and I sure do enjoy surprises.
When I return to home base this weekend schoolwork will begin almost immediately. We will be studying 1 and 2 Kings the first week back, and I am excited because we do not have to do the usual assignment of charting. We will be writing summaries of all the kings in Kings amongst other things... I have thoroughly enjoyed the old testament so far. Especially Moses and David. Reading 1 and 2 Samuel was wonderful and I saw many things I never noticed before in the text and in David and Saul's lives. They were so different, and David had to do a lot of terrified waiting as God's Anointed before he finally received the crown. Even after Saul died David had to wait a long time and run from his own son who usurped the throne from him. Yet David was always forgiving and never held any grudges. What a king David was, and yet he was merely a shadow and a sketch of Christ who is the perfect, ultimate King.
It is funny that I have been praying and praying for finances and God keeps giving me riches that are not of this world. It's not yet time for me to have earthly riches, but as long as I am rich with his blessings I should not have to worry about finances. He certainly is providing other needs. I remember beginning this year with titling it as my "Year of Hope." and I think I have lost sight of that hope I started off this year with. It is nice to take time to remember this and here is a wonderful quote from Henri Nouwen I stumbled across today about hope:
Hope is based on the premise that the other gives only what is good. Hope includes an openness by which you wait for the other to make his loving promise come true, even though you never know when, where or how this might happen.
Pray for finances. I need $353 dollars in one week. I have maybe $70 in my checking account.
Pray for things heard here in Goa to continue ringing in my ears throughout the next 3 months so that I do not lose heart. I tend to lose heart near the end of commitments.
Pray for Diane who runs this retreat center. She is amazing and from Minnesota and consequentially grew up with my mother's family! She has been a HUGE blessing, so pray that she would be blessed and remain healthy.
Pray for Lottie and I to have safe travels back to Pune on Friday night/Saturday morning. We are taking the train and I am a little worried. 12 hours sleeping overnight on a train in India? That does not spell "peace" to me. But God is on my side, what can man do to me?
This week so far in Goa has been the most relaxing and refreshing week of my life. I have never in my 23 years of living set aside an entire week to rest in the Lord. It is the fourth commandment! Resting is mentioned over and over again in the Bible and as Christians I know we feel like now that we live under the "new covenant" we no longer need to rest. That is a part of Moses' law, not our law. How far from the truth can we get?! The author of Hebrews stresses the fact that we still have not entered that rest promised to Israel thousands of years ago. If the rest God promised had truly been conquering the promised land then God would have stopped speaking of rest after Joshua (Hebrews 4:8). We must strive to enter this rest. I regret to say too often I go weeks and weeks without simply taking one day to rest and not do anything that needs to get done. It is especially hard during this school to find time to rest with my Maker. I am thankful that he is always there and when I have time to rest he is more than happy to welcome me into his rest. This week has been accompanied by much needed rest and relaxation. I have been able to sit in silence. I have been able to take a nap whenever I feel the need. I have been blessed beyond measure here in Goa, and I have been here a mere 5 days. I am sad to see this week quickly melt by, but I am leaving with a new attitude. A more pure heart. A strengthened mind. A willingness to study God's word again without complaining (hopefully). I feel prepared for this final quarter. I feel confident in my decision to come home after SBS at least for a season, and I feel confident so far in my decision to come back to India after some things are taken care of back home.
I have stumbled across this beautiful cat here who I have kept in a bag for a little while, and now I am beginning to let people peer inside this bag. I have not let the cat out completely yet, but I think there will be a time and a place for that. Who knows, maybe the cat does not really exist and I am just imagining things and maybe I am letting feelings tell me false realities. However, life is full of surprises and I sure do enjoy surprises.
When I return to home base this weekend schoolwork will begin almost immediately. We will be studying 1 and 2 Kings the first week back, and I am excited because we do not have to do the usual assignment of charting. We will be writing summaries of all the kings in Kings amongst other things... I have thoroughly enjoyed the old testament so far. Especially Moses and David. Reading 1 and 2 Samuel was wonderful and I saw many things I never noticed before in the text and in David and Saul's lives. They were so different, and David had to do a lot of terrified waiting as God's Anointed before he finally received the crown. Even after Saul died David had to wait a long time and run from his own son who usurped the throne from him. Yet David was always forgiving and never held any grudges. What a king David was, and yet he was merely a shadow and a sketch of Christ who is the perfect, ultimate King.
It is funny that I have been praying and praying for finances and God keeps giving me riches that are not of this world. It's not yet time for me to have earthly riches, but as long as I am rich with his blessings I should not have to worry about finances. He certainly is providing other needs. I remember beginning this year with titling it as my "Year of Hope." and I think I have lost sight of that hope I started off this year with. It is nice to take time to remember this and here is a wonderful quote from Henri Nouwen I stumbled across today about hope:
Hope is based on the premise that the other gives only what is good. Hope includes an openness by which you wait for the other to make his loving promise come true, even though you never know when, where or how this might happen.
Pray for finances. I need $353 dollars in one week. I have maybe $70 in my checking account.
Pray for things heard here in Goa to continue ringing in my ears throughout the next 3 months so that I do not lose heart. I tend to lose heart near the end of commitments.
Pray for Diane who runs this retreat center. She is amazing and from Minnesota and consequentially grew up with my mother's family! She has been a HUGE blessing, so pray that she would be blessed and remain healthy.
Pray for Lottie and I to have safe travels back to Pune on Friday night/Saturday morning. We are taking the train and I am a little worried. 12 hours sleeping overnight on a train in India? That does not spell "peace" to me. But God is on my side, what can man do to me?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...
Here are some pictures from India. The first few are in Goa which is the south bordering state of Maharashtra (the state I'm going to school in). Goa is known for its beaches and tourist attractions. I am here with Lottie for our one week of holiday resting and relaxing at a wonderful retreat center coincidentally run by a Minnesotan who grew up with my Mother's family! The few pictures after that are during HOLI week. AKA the festival of colors where people wearing white or light colors are the targets for colorful dye to be thrown at. After the colorful pictures you will see a picture of a traditional Indian worship service, Christian that is, but singing Bhajans which are Hindi songs of worship. Not HINDU, but HINDI. The common language of India. We are worshiping God of course.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Bum Bum Bole!!
I love David. Okay, I know I also loved Paul, then once Paul died I fell for John, and then John died, and then I loved Moses, well, now Moses is dead too and we have David. King David. This week we are studying 1 and 2 Samuel. There is so much homework and I have no desire to do any of it. Not because I don't like the book, just because the homework is so time consuming and I feel as if my brain cannot handle doing this many observations, interpretations, and applications. I was telling a friend the other day that I hate studying and reading and homework and so I don't know why I'm here, and they said I'm here cause God brought me here. Simply put, and so true! I know that I'm here for a reason and a season and maybe even longer! Who knows though. God only knows. So far he has made it very clear that whatever choice I make after SBS is what he wants.
I could feel God's heart breaking when His people ask Samuel for a king, like other nations. We see in Leviticus God's people are called to be set apart. Different, separated from all other peoples. They shall be holy for the Lord God is holy! Yet, they demand a human king. A far from perfect, human king. God wasn't good enough for them even though he rescued them from impossible situations and defeated the strongest, biggest nations with just a few Israelites. A man cannot do that!
In two weeks I am going to Goa for one whole week of resting with God. I am very happy about this. Lottie and I have been praying that God would be the center of our week off and even though we're taking a break from SBS we don't want to take a break from God. Here he is providing us with an amazing opportunity to be in his presence for an entire week. I'm excited for what is going to happen and what I'm going to hear.
The weather here is getting more and more unbearable. Who's going to want to sit for hours doing homework in this heat? It's already in the 90s every single day. A.K.A the 30s here. Celsius. Who needs it? I sweat doing anything. I sweat doing nothing. I sweat all the time. It never stops. But I am so happy to be in India! I swear I'm falling in love with India more each day I'm here. The only thing I do NOT want to experience is monsoon season. 2 months of straight up pouring rain. No thank you.
So the summary statement of the week is God is so good and seems to be blessing me for reasons unknown to me. Not that he needs a reason to bless me, and not that he blesses me because of anything I've done. I know that's not the case. I am certainly thankful for this week, and pray I can focus on God the rest of the week and not the blessings.
Pray for finances to roll in. Third quarter starts in 3 weeks and I have no money to pay for it.
Pray for focus and concentration and rest this next 1.5 weeks so that I don't become apathetic for the final 2 books of the quarter.
Pray for direction after SBS. What to do? What to do? (That's a very common Indian expression. What to do.)
Pray for one student who is leaving after this 2nd quarter, my dear roommate Elisabeth will be returning to Norway. So sad. Pray God gives her direction and peace to be home and not finish SBS. Pray for a new student arriving for third quarter that he adjusts easy back into the SBS mindset. It was hard enough for me to come back from my 2 week Christmas break, I can't imagine taking an extended break from SBS!
Love, love, love you all!
I could feel God's heart breaking when His people ask Samuel for a king, like other nations. We see in Leviticus God's people are called to be set apart. Different, separated from all other peoples. They shall be holy for the Lord God is holy! Yet, they demand a human king. A far from perfect, human king. God wasn't good enough for them even though he rescued them from impossible situations and defeated the strongest, biggest nations with just a few Israelites. A man cannot do that!
In two weeks I am going to Goa for one whole week of resting with God. I am very happy about this. Lottie and I have been praying that God would be the center of our week off and even though we're taking a break from SBS we don't want to take a break from God. Here he is providing us with an amazing opportunity to be in his presence for an entire week. I'm excited for what is going to happen and what I'm going to hear.
The weather here is getting more and more unbearable. Who's going to want to sit for hours doing homework in this heat? It's already in the 90s every single day. A.K.A the 30s here. Celsius. Who needs it? I sweat doing anything. I sweat doing nothing. I sweat all the time. It never stops. But I am so happy to be in India! I swear I'm falling in love with India more each day I'm here. The only thing I do NOT want to experience is monsoon season. 2 months of straight up pouring rain. No thank you.
So the summary statement of the week is God is so good and seems to be blessing me for reasons unknown to me. Not that he needs a reason to bless me, and not that he blesses me because of anything I've done. I know that's not the case. I am certainly thankful for this week, and pray I can focus on God the rest of the week and not the blessings.
Pray for finances to roll in. Third quarter starts in 3 weeks and I have no money to pay for it.
Pray for focus and concentration and rest this next 1.5 weeks so that I don't become apathetic for the final 2 books of the quarter.
Pray for direction after SBS. What to do? What to do? (That's a very common Indian expression. What to do.)
Pray for one student who is leaving after this 2nd quarter, my dear roommate Elisabeth will be returning to Norway. So sad. Pray God gives her direction and peace to be home and not finish SBS. Pray for a new student arriving for third quarter that he adjusts easy back into the SBS mindset. It was hard enough for me to come back from my 2 week Christmas break, I can't imagine taking an extended break from SBS!
Love, love, love you all!
Monday, March 2, 2009
I'm happy, I'm happy, your birthday brings a pardoning
Happy 21st Birthday to my Soul-mate yesterday! I love you Kimberly-Joy!
Moses is dead. He was buried in an unknown location. I loved the relationship Moses had with God. They talked to each other face to face, like a familiar friend. I will always be fascinated by this. No one has seen God and lived according to John and so how did Moses have a face to face relationship with God? It might have been Jesus. That's what I think anyway. Besides, if God is omnipresent...which he is, how could we ever physically see him aside from Christ? Either way, I have always longed for a relationship with God like Moses had.
I have never really been too fond of the first five books of the Old Testament except for Genesis of course, but each week when we started a new book it quickly became my favorite in place of the last book. Genesis was awesome, but moreover Exodus was even better, then Leviticus, although it is full of laws and how-to's for sacrifices and offerings I still found myself loving it more than Exodus, next Numbers. My favorite of Moses' books. It really shows Israel's cycle of committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, etc. I love seeing God's heart for his people. His heart to be close to his people, to dwell among them. From the garden to the tabernacle to the temple to our own bodies and much later on to finally being with us like I am with my Indian classmates, but only if I was with them all day every day...forever.
I am getting more and more encouraged to at least wait on the Lord. I still find it difficult to think that I need to wait on him when he's always around and he's always speaking to me. Maybe I don't really need to wait on him, but I need to wait on my ears to be cleaned out or something. I just haven't heard him clearly in my own heart for awhile. I know you're thinking, "but she's got her nose in the Word every day!!" and yes, that is so true, but sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing it to hear from God, or just doing it to finish my assignment. Where has the passion gone to? Why am I not excited about each new book anymore? All things I must earnestly seek answers for. I used to wonder if God was purposefully not speaking to me, but a wise man told me recently that God is always talking to us. Of course he answers us and talks to us! If you asked one of your parents a question as a child would they ignore you? Would they just turn away and walk out of the room? or the house?? Of course not! How much more does our heavenly Father talk to us? It's not that he's not speaking, it's just that maybe I'm not a good listener, and moreover I am not a good doer. I sometimes hear God speaking to me, but I rarely ever do what he tells me. I'm getting better, and this is an area he has really been pushing me in since DTS is not just hearing his voice, but actually doing what he says. Which shouldn't be that hard, really.
I have a longing to be more raw with my fellow SBS students, and five months into the school I only know a handful's hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles. As I see more of God I see more of his heart for his people. That we would live together as one. That we would be one as Jesus and the Father are one. I have always had a passion for community and unity within the Church, and by "the Church" I mean not a building or a gathering every Sunday morning, but I mean the body of Christ. Every Christian in my community of the season. Right now this SBS is the "church" I belong to, and I don't know my fellow friends gifts! I don't know all their talents! I don't know their part in this body of Christ. How are we to function as one unit when all we know of one another is how far along we are with our assignments at any given moment.
Sometimes I look around me and wonder how the heck I got where I am. What in the world brought me to this small town in India? However, India is now such a huge part of my life I don't know what I'd be without it here. I think that there was some small part of my heart that could only be filled with India. Looking back in the past few years of my life I can see God showing me very clearly India was to be a part of my life, but I never put any of them together until I got here, and even then I didn't see it until about 5 months into this SBS. If you had told me I'd be sitting in a tiny coffee shop in the middle of Maharashtra, India listening to Bollywood classics on the radio I would have laughed in your face, and later behind your back!
I still have not figured out what my next step is after SBS, but really, I will let ya'll know as soon as I figure it out. I think it's another moment in my life where no matter what I decide God will use me, bless me, and lead me. We had a prophetic man come and speak to us all last week and I was hoping and praying God would tell me my next step through him and he said nothing I even expected. That I would solve problems within failing ministries and be like a consultant to people around me and that God would give me visions of how to explain solutions to people because I am so different than others that I do not even explain things in an understandable way most of the time, but I would get visions of exactly how to explain solutions to them. I was also told that God would use me to do this "wherever I choose to go" whether it be YWAM, home, or anywhere else in the world. Which you know, that is an answer. Granted it's not the answer I was hoping for, it is still an answer to my next step. I also feel God telling me right now I do not need to make a decision. Why worry? Worrying does not add even a second to my life, or produce any of the results I want. (if you want a full story of what God spoke to me through this prophetic man leave me a comment and I'll e-mail you all the details!)
Well, I have not much left to say except that I have a camera on its way to me and will hopefully get it soon and post pictures on here as soon as I take some! I am sorry for the lack of photos. I believe in a matter of 9 days or less there is the festival of colors here in all of India where people I guess wear all white clothes and wherever you go people throw dye at you! I'll have to research it more or ask around more about it. I pray the camera arrives before then! I am excited for this.
These ALWAYS end up being so long, and I feel like I also write about them always turning out so long in every entry. Ah well. Perhaps I should update this more often so i'll have less to talk about...or write about.
Moses is dead. He was buried in an unknown location. I loved the relationship Moses had with God. They talked to each other face to face, like a familiar friend. I will always be fascinated by this. No one has seen God and lived according to John and so how did Moses have a face to face relationship with God? It might have been Jesus. That's what I think anyway. Besides, if God is omnipresent...which he is, how could we ever physically see him aside from Christ? Either way, I have always longed for a relationship with God like Moses had.
I have never really been too fond of the first five books of the Old Testament except for Genesis of course, but each week when we started a new book it quickly became my favorite in place of the last book. Genesis was awesome, but moreover Exodus was even better, then Leviticus, although it is full of laws and how-to's for sacrifices and offerings I still found myself loving it more than Exodus, next Numbers. My favorite of Moses' books. It really shows Israel's cycle of committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, committing, rebelling, crying out, being redeemed, etc. I love seeing God's heart for his people. His heart to be close to his people, to dwell among them. From the garden to the tabernacle to the temple to our own bodies and much later on to finally being with us like I am with my Indian classmates, but only if I was with them all day every day...forever.
I am getting more and more encouraged to at least wait on the Lord. I still find it difficult to think that I need to wait on him when he's always around and he's always speaking to me. Maybe I don't really need to wait on him, but I need to wait on my ears to be cleaned out or something. I just haven't heard him clearly in my own heart for awhile. I know you're thinking, "but she's got her nose in the Word every day!!" and yes, that is so true, but sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing it to hear from God, or just doing it to finish my assignment. Where has the passion gone to? Why am I not excited about each new book anymore? All things I must earnestly seek answers for. I used to wonder if God was purposefully not speaking to me, but a wise man told me recently that God is always talking to us. Of course he answers us and talks to us! If you asked one of your parents a question as a child would they ignore you? Would they just turn away and walk out of the room? or the house?? Of course not! How much more does our heavenly Father talk to us? It's not that he's not speaking, it's just that maybe I'm not a good listener, and moreover I am not a good doer. I sometimes hear God speaking to me, but I rarely ever do what he tells me. I'm getting better, and this is an area he has really been pushing me in since DTS is not just hearing his voice, but actually doing what he says. Which shouldn't be that hard, really.
I have a longing to be more raw with my fellow SBS students, and five months into the school I only know a handful's hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles. As I see more of God I see more of his heart for his people. That we would live together as one. That we would be one as Jesus and the Father are one. I have always had a passion for community and unity within the Church, and by "the Church" I mean not a building or a gathering every Sunday morning, but I mean the body of Christ. Every Christian in my community of the season. Right now this SBS is the "church" I belong to, and I don't know my fellow friends gifts! I don't know all their talents! I don't know their part in this body of Christ. How are we to function as one unit when all we know of one another is how far along we are with our assignments at any given moment.
Sometimes I look around me and wonder how the heck I got where I am. What in the world brought me to this small town in India? However, India is now such a huge part of my life I don't know what I'd be without it here. I think that there was some small part of my heart that could only be filled with India. Looking back in the past few years of my life I can see God showing me very clearly India was to be a part of my life, but I never put any of them together until I got here, and even then I didn't see it until about 5 months into this SBS. If you had told me I'd be sitting in a tiny coffee shop in the middle of Maharashtra, India listening to Bollywood classics on the radio I would have laughed in your face, and later behind your back!
I still have not figured out what my next step is after SBS, but really, I will let ya'll know as soon as I figure it out. I think it's another moment in my life where no matter what I decide God will use me, bless me, and lead me. We had a prophetic man come and speak to us all last week and I was hoping and praying God would tell me my next step through him and he said nothing I even expected. That I would solve problems within failing ministries and be like a consultant to people around me and that God would give me visions of how to explain solutions to people because I am so different than others that I do not even explain things in an understandable way most of the time, but I would get visions of exactly how to explain solutions to them. I was also told that God would use me to do this "wherever I choose to go" whether it be YWAM, home, or anywhere else in the world. Which you know, that is an answer. Granted it's not the answer I was hoping for, it is still an answer to my next step. I also feel God telling me right now I do not need to make a decision. Why worry? Worrying does not add even a second to my life, or produce any of the results I want. (if you want a full story of what God spoke to me through this prophetic man leave me a comment and I'll e-mail you all the details!)
Well, I have not much left to say except that I have a camera on its way to me and will hopefully get it soon and post pictures on here as soon as I take some! I am sorry for the lack of photos. I believe in a matter of 9 days or less there is the festival of colors here in all of India where people I guess wear all white clothes and wherever you go people throw dye at you! I'll have to research it more or ask around more about it. I pray the camera arrives before then! I am excited for this.
These ALWAYS end up being so long, and I feel like I also write about them always turning out so long in every entry. Ah well. Perhaps I should update this more often so i'll have less to talk about...or write about.
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