The Days Move Slowly; The Days Move Quickly

It is nice to finally know a date for things that you have been waiting for in a state of permanent unknown. We finally were given a scheduled date for my husband's visa interview. The past year and a half of waiting and waiting is finally coming to a close. It's a wonderful feeling, yet still we are now waiting for the day to actually arrive. I feel like we are always waiting in this life. Watching and waiting for things and when they arrive we begin to wait for something else.

India is the same. It has not changed much since I've been living here. Weddings are still too loud. My house-owners are still renovating or constructing things noisily outside my windows. People still try to cheat me because of my white skin. It's still very hot in the Summer. The monsoons are still terrible. The food is still delicious. The sound of auto rickshaws is still bright and clear. The power still goes off from time to time without warning.

I will miss this place, but I am glad that in the future we will not likely be coming to Maharashtra. We will usually be visiting Nagaland. It has quickly become like a second home to me. I love Romel's friends and family. I love the people there and it is quite different than the rest of India. People don't stare at me as much there. It's like once I married one of them I became one of them. I really like that. In the rest of India I will never be seen as an Indian even though I married one and live here, but in Nagaland it is different.

Land of Nagas

One year ago at this same time I was in Minnesota. I was enjoying the snow, good coffee, and time with my family. Because Romel and I were in our own respective hometowns last Christmas/New Years we decided this year we would go to Nagaland. The place my husband hails from.

Nagaland is a small state in Northeastern India where they grow and eat a lot of rice and pretty much any animal that is capable of breathing. I know I've explained this a million times, so that's all I'll say.

We could not afford to fly there so we took the train. India is great in that regard; if you cannot afford to fly, a train ticket to the same destination is considerably less expensive. However, a place that might take three hours to fly to will take a day and a half to reach by train. 

Romel and I boarded our first train on a Wednesday morning and we reached his parents house on the following Saturday night. I won't even mention the return journey. Let's just say the return journey solidified my resolution to never ride a long distance train in India ever again.

You'll see in the photo below Romel and I are enjoying our wonderful seats on the second train of our three-train journey there:

Now, you'll see how unimpressed we are with our travel arrangements and the train life:

Train food is hit or miss. It's either delicious or it's disgusting, there is no in between. You have to be careful also. We try not to buy food from the train's pantry car because I've heard stories of people finding rat parts or other gross things in their food. Plus it's just not that good. I really lucked out with this one snack, it's all fresh peas, chopped tomato, onion and chickpeas. Nothing cooked in oil. It was really good too! Sadly, it was the only time I saw this food on any of the trains.

This is the familiar scene from Romel's parent's backyard: 

I really do love Nagaland. The people there are incredibly hospitable and always inviting us to their homes for chai and snacks or dinner or just to spend time with us. Even though I'd sit there with a smile on my face not understanding anything that was being discussed, I still enjoy my time in Nagaland. I'm attempting to learn the language, and I'm getting better, but it's not easy for me.

In Nagaland Christmas is a holiday you spend with friends. There are bonfires at every house every night for two weeks over Christmas and New Year's Day. There will be barbecues (mostly pork) and picnics at faraway lakes or rivers. People give each other cakes as gifts. There is not really any exchange of any other gifts. You will not see families waking up early on Christmas morning to open presents. If there are presents under the tree they are decoration only. Christmas is about spending time with your friends and family and eating a lot of food. I don't ever actually feel hunger whenever I'm there because we are constantly eating something.

Nagaland is the only state in India that is declared a "Christian" state and so that means Christmas decorations are everywhere and they put our light-decorated houses to shame. There are lights and fire crackers and fireworks every night!

Here is one of the many creepy Santas I saw around during the holidays: Apparently Santa is white because in India you'll see people dressing as santa also wearing terrifying plastic white-skinned santa masks. When an Indian person wears a mask of a white-haired-white-skin fat man, it's quite scary looking. Fortunately, this was a dummy:

It is a much simpler life at Romel's parent's house. There is no running water which means no hot water on demand. Laundry must be done by hand which you see me attempting below. I can do it, but it takes longer than your average Indian and I'm pretty sure I still don't know how to do it right after all these years.

All in all, it was a blessing and great time of rest in Nagaland for both of us. It was our last time to see Romel's family for two years. It will be sad to not be able to see them for that long, but we know without a doubt that this next season is our time to adjust to life in the United States. 

Romel's visa is coming along swimmingly. He is currently on his way to Pune to pick up an important document which has been the hardest one to get in this whole process, and it wasn't even that difficult. Every piece of this immigration process is falling together so perfectly. It is just further confirmation for us that this truly is the right time for us to come to the U.S. We still have a couple months to go, but we will be there soon so get ready to finally meet my husband everyone!

Going Home Has Never Been So Weird.

I first came to India in 2008 and yes, I came to India to study the Bible. Sometimes I think people wonder why I would come all the way to India to study the Bible and people often ask what made me choose India in the first place. I always tell them the same, honest answer: It was the cheapest place to do the school. I did not really feel "called" to India. I didn't even really like Indian food. I hated calling customer service and getting an Indian person because I could not understand their accent at all.

I was really naive when I first came to India. For some reason I thought that there were a lot of white people here. For some reason I did not believe they really ate rice for every meal. I thought it would be a lot like the U.S. for some reason. I was incredibly wrong on all accounts. I was one of five white people in the whole city. I have already eaten enough rice to last five lifetimes. India is the complete opposite of the U.S. in every single way possible. It's no wonder I hated this place when I first arrived.

During the first nine months of my stay in India I made some amazing friends. Lifelong friends from India and outside. When you study the Bible with 16 other people for nine months straight you get really close to them. You grow with them. You laugh with them. You cry with them. You argue with them.

Two days ago one of my classmates from that time called me. When I answered the phone he asked, "Is this Sarah?" I said, "yes, this is Sarah." He then told me who he was and I was pretty excited. I hadn't heard from him in quite some time and he was always one of my favorite people in India. As we were talking he asked, "is this really Sarah? You do not sound anything like Sarah." and I assured him that I was in fact the same Sarah who studied with him for nine months. He couldn't believe it. He told me that I sounded like I was Indian and I sounded nothing like that Sarah back in 2008/2009.

It has been a slow change, and honestly I did not and still don't realize it, but I speak completely different than I did four years ago. I speak in simple English. I do know that I have an accent that I use when I teach and when I talk to most other Indian people here so that they can understand me better. But I never realized to what extent this accent has overtaken my language. I guess you wouldn't understand that until you go home and speak with people you haven't seen in years and they think you're Indian.

All this to say, I look forward to going home at some point in 2014 and seeing my friends' reactions to my new accent. I look forward to saying things in horrible, terrible English without even thinking. I look forward to wobbling my head from side to side to answer people's questions and have them stare at me like I'm some kind of alien. I will be. There's no other way to describe how it feels to go back to the culture you've grown up in, back to the language you used to use every day, and yet you are no longer a part of it. It is no longer the way you always think, speak, and act. It is foreign to me now. I truly am an alien in every sense of the word, except my citizenship is still there.

I have never really had those melt downs that people describe after coming "home" from India. You know the ones, where they are standing in some aisle in the grocery store and they just cannot handle how many different ketchups there are or how much food is in that one place. That never happens to me. I freak out when I go to the bank and the teller is overly friendly and asks me what I'm doing for fun that day. I freak out when I see how huge the green peppers are in the produce section. I cannot sleep because it's too quiet or the bed is too soft. I freak out when I see those tweenie boppers wearing jean shorts that are actually underpants because there is no way they would actually make shorts that short, right?? RIGHT?? And how is it that literally everyone in the United States has an iPad? And as much as I am always more than ready to leave the craziness of India, I always feel most at ease when I see Indian people out in public at home. I feel like they are my family. They are the people I want to spend my time with in the U.S.

I've been thinking a lot lately about going home. We will most probably be going to good ol' Minnesota in February or March and I just cannot wait. I am so excited. But this time it won't be a two month visa run, it will be indefinite and I am not sure if I'm ready for that. I think I'm ready, but am I really ready?

Baby Steps and Birthday Celebrations

The rains have officially stopped. I repeat: the rains have officially stopped!! I am a very happy girl. No more rain. No more mold. No more mildew. No more damp, stinky clothes at all times. The sun is out and here to stay FINALLY. It has been about one week of sunny, rain-free skies.

edit: the same night after writing this blog draft it was thundering and lightning was flashing and the rain was pouring down heavily. 

A lot has been happening lately. A lot of good things. A lot of stressful things. There's a good balance of good with the bad. So it all ends up alright at the end of the day.

Last week a good friend of mine came from Nashville and taught a week on Songwriting. I was finally able, after three years of staffing, to sit in and attend his lecture. One thing about staffing a school that really grinds my gears is you don't have freedom to do anything else but focus on your school and attend your own lectures. You don't have the freedom to also expand your horizons during the working day. Now, however, as a regular old base staff, I have the freedom to attend any lectures I want. And so, last week my friend Roger came to teach songwriting and I attended his classes and I co-wrote two songs with one of the students! 

I've been meaning to get back to playing and writing music for quite some time now and jumped at the opportunity to learn from a fellow songwriter, and good one at that! Please check out his music here if you're interested in new, up-and-coming indie/pop/rock artists who can also work magic on a sitar.

I thought that the first time I shaved one part of my head would be the last time, but it has grown on me (ha! Get it??). I recently shaved it again and this time it was with a new clipper and it ended up being a lot shorter than ever before, nearly bald! Good thing hair grows back.

We recently had an open mic night and as Romel was singing our campus cat meandered up on stage and sat down right in front of him during his entire performance. It was wonderful.

Here is a picture of the current Creative DTS that is running on campus. I was teaching them how to study the Bible inductively...the way we do in SBS. It was fun and good to get to know the students a little better. I rarely interact with students here if I don't have to, so it's good for me to push my anti-social limits at times.

Last Sunday was Romel's 29th birthday! Don't tell him I told you his age. He feels like he's an old man no matter how many times I assure him that the 30s are way better than the 20s which I've read in like every magazine ever so it must be true.

We went out to our favorite local spot for Indian food! This restaurant has THE BEST butter chicken in all of Lonavala...maybe even Maharashtra...or even the world.

Putting my baking skills to use. This was the first time in my life I told anyone to just tell me what kind of cake they want and I'll make it! Romel tastefully chose carrot cake. 

Modelling one of his gifts, a sweet new shirt.

 

And finally, we had a lovely barbecue on Sunday for his special day and invited just a few close friends. It was all around tons of fun and I enjoyed celebrating his birth. 

Also, the neighbor's cat who just so happens to be Arya's brother came and joined me for a while when the boys went on a night walk.

 

In other news, if you received our sweet new newsletter then you already heard the word:

The petition I filed for Romel to soon come to the U.S. has been ACCEPTED!!! So now we are in the process of filing another form showing that our finances are enough to sponsor his arrival (which they are not because if you saw our bank accounts you'd laugh) but thankfully we have a wonderful co-sponsor who is helping us out. All the pieces are fitting together so nicely for this I am actually in an almost constant state of shock. It's all just further evidence that this truly is the right time to be doing this and we're working with the right lawyer.

If you would like to receive our monthly newsletter you can sign up by clicking these words! It's a pretty cool new platform I'm using. You are free to unsubscribe at any time!

Doughnuts, Dogs, and Discipline

"Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."

That is how almost every e-mail starts that I receive here in the Registrar office. 

Indian Christians are very old fashioned. I should say "most" Indian Christians. When they greet you they do not say, "hello." but instead, "praise the Lord."

I guess it's nice to be acknowledging God left and right but it's kind of obnoxious to me.

It is very hard for me to not let my critical, technical, analytical mind get in the way of my relationship with Jesus. I am critical of the music people play here. I am critical of the way they speak. I am critical of how loud they pray. I am critical even of how they dress. Even if they did everything as I thought it should be I'd still find things to complain about.

I was reading an article on Relevant Magazine's website about consumerist worship. I thought the excerpt above fit me very well. It's by Stephen Miller. The actual quote is a little longer,

We dare not approach the throne of an objectively great, timeless, unchanging, and holy God with a consumer mindset that says we can only worship him if our subjective preferential demands are met.

So of course as I'm processing how to actually do that or rather not do that. I sit in staff meeting and because the content of the meeting is not something I "like" I whip out my phone and do some professional photo editing:

I seriously have a problem.

But I don't know how to discipline myself in this area of paying attention and not being critical.

---------------------

A few weeks ago Romel and I went to Bangalore. It was amazing. The weather was fantastic. The people were nice. I was teaching in the DTS there for an entire week! It was a wonderful time to actually be the guest speaker for once.

We were told a few days after our arrival that there was a Krispy Kreme nearby. 

Krispy Kreme guys.

We took six donuts home with us all the way to Pune! It was so amazing. Like I would go back to Bangalore just for Krispy Kreme in the future. 

This is a view from the bus on our way to Bangalore.

Riding buses in India is good and awful. It's faster than a train. I feel safer because not just anyone can come on the bus at any stop. You get to watch bollywood movies. I watched the entirety of Chennai Express and loved it even though there were no English subtitles.

The awful stuff is sometimes there are children and those children sit right behind you and they kick your seat or pull it down like the entire ride. I absolutely cannot sleep unless I'm laying down and even though the buses seats' recline almost horizontally, it's not quite there. Lastly, they stop like twice where a woman can pee, but a lot for men cause men in India just pee wherever they want and it's gross.

Sometimes when we travel by train I have to dress up like a ninja so people don't stare at my beautiful skin and hair.

--------------------------

The sun has been coming out FINALLY and so we did some major cleaning of our moldy, stinky clothes. It's weird seeing my wardrobe so empty. It's usually oozing clothes out of every orifice. Instead now there's a giant pile of clothes that need to be washed next to our washing machine while my wardrobe gets some breathing room for once.

Such beautiful flowers here. These just started growing on the side of the dirty road when the sun started showing itself. 

This is one of my favorite pups. She and her brother stay outside our gate mostly. They are really annoying when they bark but they're sweet and I pet them often. I sometimes want to take them in and give them baths and keep them as my own but they're quite large and Romel would kill me. I call this one "Pups McGups" and her brother "Pupster" ha ha. There were three of them when they were little puppies but a few years back one of them disappeared. I hope someone took that one in but odds are something terrible happened between the dog gangs.

Land of a Thousand Smiles

Being in Thailand just for four days was like a breath of much needed fresh air.

The people we came across in Bangkok were friendly, generous, and beautiful. We loved it so much at our hotel that we pretty much cancelled all our other plans to just bum around the area our hotel was in. Why spend money and travel around when you are content and enjoying yourself right where you are?

Our budget was tight. Very tight. Being there as a tourist made me again long for home. If only Romel and I were living and working in the U.S. then we'd have much more money to spend in Thailand. As if money would have made us happier. We had fun in spite of money issues. We were just happy that it all came together quite wonderfully! We booked a hotel for three nights the same price it usually cost one night at that hotel. Going to Thailand in the off-season is the best way to go. We pretty much walked everywhere and though it was tiring, it was fun to see more of the city and people that way. With a 7 Eleven on every corner we were never far from a respite from the hot, humid air. I thought it was monsoon there, but it barely sprinkled rain a few times.

We really had a great time. We were exhausted every night when we went to bed and were always filling our stomachs with delicious street foods and pad thai noodles. We even brought pad thai back home with us. I was seriously happy to eat shrimp. I ate shrimp everywhere I could! You might think that's funny, but shrimp is hard to come by in India and it's small and it's expensive. I love shrimp. In Thailand seafood is pretty much everywhere. Squid, shrimp, mussels, fish, crab, lobsters, it was like we were eating under the sea itself. But we were more interested in the fact that McDonalds actually had beef. I finally was able to eat a cheeseburger and their fries were way better than Indian McDonalds. They even had sizes similar to US standards! I was in heaven on earth.

Did I mention there was a Starbucks?

In our line of work we rarely, rarely, rarely get to buy fun things. You know, things we want. We managed to purchase a few fun "want" items such as tank tops, pants, some amazing leather bags, and some instant noodles for Romel. He loves instant noodles. I personally am not a fan, but that's what we got pad thai noodles for.

All this to say, we really had a good time. It was a genuine vacation and I have not had one of those for many years. Even our honeymoon does not count as a vacation. This was the real deal. We were there to relax, do whatever we wanted, and enjoy each other's company in a new and exciting place! We are both very thankful to have been able to go.

This is our we-just-made-it-past-immigration-and-everything-went-better-than-expected face.

Khao San Road. Ten minute walk from our hotel and where we spent the majority of our time.

Some cool elephant statues.

Outside the Grand Palace.

Yeah, we're married.

Tuk tuk. We only rode in one of these one time. It was so fast! India needs to get on this.

Wat Pho Temple entrance.

Hello Buddhas.

And more Buddhas.

Another Buddha.

I was wearing inappropriately short shorts and so was forced to wear the modesty skirt inside the temple. I liked it a lot actually.

Hunk.

Just a monk with an umbrella.

The famous reclining Buddha! I like his toes.

Street food! We ate anything and everything off of carts on the street. It's funny how people always advice tourists to never eat street food, but it's literally the best and most authentic food there is.

Romel in Chinatown. Obviously posed.

In the Beginning

Sometimes it is good to remember your beginnings. It is fun to look back in time and remember the emotions, the passion, the excitement knowing you have just made a huge change in your life. I wrote this short (very short) story a few years ago about the beginning of my two-year staff commitment here. (Actually it is somewhat of a "first chapter" to a book I have been wanting to write about my crazy Indian life. But that's another passion for another day). Anyway, we all know my two-year commitment here turned into three years. Now my commitment to this Biblical Studies course is coming to a close and for that I am again full of emotions, excitement, and yes, even passion. Ending something is always emotional; I am excited for what the future holds and for soon coming back to the U.S. with my beloved husband; I am full of a newfound passion to study the Bible at my own pace and in my own home for no other purpose but to study the Bible. No more stressing out about teachings, staff meetings or small groups. 

Sometimes it is good to remember your beginnings.

        The precise moment my foot hit the ground outside just past the glass doors, I felt the heat.  It was like someone immediately threw a bucket of hot pudding at my face and it quickly dripped down, covering my whole body in one moment.  Inevitably, my glasses became instantly fogged and I could not see a thing.  I worried I wouldn’t be able to see him, so I took my specs off, but immediately realized the reason I wore them in the first place.  Glasses on or off, I could not see a thing.  There were literally hundreds of Indians lined up in front of me shouting and calling out names.  I thought that I would never find the one Indian man I was looking for.  Before those thoughts could fully complete themselves, and after I had only taken a handful of steps out of the Mumbai airport, I heard that very familiar voice call my name.  A wonderful voice that I sometimes think was made only for the purpose of saying my name.  I heard the voice for the first time in months, yet recognized it the moment I heard it.  He was a little behind me, and as I turned around I saw him and an electric current of pure joy ran through my body, beginning its journey from my heart.

        He was even more handsome than I remembered, standing there in the sticky heat wearing all black with a brown scarf.  His favorite fashion faux-pax is wearing black with brown.  I haven’t had the heart to tell him how much of a fashion criminal he was sometimes.  Occasionally, he will even wear socks with sandals, but that is a different story set aside for a different time.  His hair was much shorter than I had ever seen it, and I loved it that way!  He is about one centimeter shorter than me, but it bothers neither of us and we rarely notice it.  The good thing about dating someone who is approximately the same size as you is that his clothes fit you perfectly. Even our feet are the same size.  Although, you cannot really say we ever dated.  They don’t date in India.  They basically go from strangers to husband and wife.  One thing in this life I will never fully understand is arranged marriages.

        Back to the story: as soon as he called my name and our eyes met, we ran to each other (I did most of the running).  We embraced in a quick yet genuine and much needed hug.  At that exact moment, all the feelings I had ignored for the past five months came flooding back into my head and my heart.  I did not think it would be this good to see him again.  I had somehow convinced myself that I did not love him anymore when I was at home, and I had been quite relieved to hear that I would only have to see him for one day after I arrived back in India before he would go down to Mysore for nine months.

        The past year-and-a-half played through my mind at lightening speed, and I suddenly caught myself standing next to a man I was very much in love with.  I kept telling him how good it was to see him again after so long.  It took everything in me to hold me back from kissing him all over his face.  Fortunately, we were in a country where PDA is not at all acceptable.  Growing up in America with five brothers and a reluctance to touch anyone, I had developed a sort of illness which would come only when seeing couples in public holding hands, kissing, or canoodling.  I hate PDA with a mighty passion, and had loved living in India because it is such taboo for anyone to publicly display their affection for all to see.

        We made our way to where the taxi would pick us up, and it seemed almost like I was in a dream.  Was it really this hot?  Was I really back in India?  Was I really standing next to him?  Was I really committing the next two years of my life to this place?  Little did I know that a lot more than two years was in store for me.